Part 14: by StarkRavingMad

Well, the immigrants are here. We also got a broker, and some pompous asshole claiming to be head of the Craftdwarves Guild. I think he's just looking for a free room without doing any work, but what can you do?

22 more dwarves, counting the nobles. This should be fun.

Gonna drill out some new bedrooms north of the Suicide Hall.

The new broker immediately endears himself to me by mandating the production of toy forges. I'm tempted to tell him that I mandate he go fuck himself, but I think better of it and just put in the work order for them.

Late Spring - 1055:

The dwarves working here are the laziest bunch of hoopleheads I've ever seen. If they aren't drinking, they're sleeping it off. Or "Storing an item in the stockpile, boss" which seems to be code for "fucking around carrying things from place to place instead of doing some real work."

I have six fucking carpenters, I asked for this workshop to be built 3 months ago, you think anyone gets around to it? It's a ten minute job, but they're too busy to do it. Busy doing what, I don't fucking know, since without the workshops up they can't carptenter anything either. I have 4 miners, two of them apparently sleep 20 hours a day, one is so injured he can't walk, and the last claims to be the Retired Ruler of this place but he's the only guy who actually does any digging.

Noticing that we have a military of 3, not counting our fortress guards, I go ahead and draft a few more, giving me two squads so I can rotate who is on duty and who is slacking off in the barracks.

The Mayor just stormed into my office and demanded I stop the export of red spinel items. Considering I've never seen a fucking red spinel and have no idea what one is, I told him that I was sure I could accomodate his request.

Apparently the Craftsdwarf union rules preclude me from directly asking for anything specific, including the fucking mini-forges that our beloved broker storms into my office every day and demands. The best I can do is tell them to make "toys" and hope they happen to figure out that means "mini-forges" and not boats or hammers or axes or puzzleboxes or all this other shit that I am now buried under, and not a single mini-forge, and so the broker is pissed at me and there isn't shit-all I can do about since I wouldn't know how to make a fucking mini-forge to save my life. I need a drink.