Part 64: by Guerilla Medic

Here goes. I chose the character for the sole reason of him loving roaches. Also he wears plate mail over chainmail and uses 2 swords.

1st Granite, 1064.

I drank the last of my personal stash a week ago, and there is not a single drop of alcohol in the whole fortress. We are doomed,truly doomed.
This is the first time i've been sober in years, and i've yet to understand all the horror we have been through. Due to recent events, the fortress is in martial law, and i'm in charge.
We are doomed.

Might as well enjoy this...

In my drunken stupor i have started wearing a second layer of armor, and increased my arsenal with an another sword. They have kept me alive all these years, so i will continue

The indefinitely burning enchanted puppy outside the gate turned out NOT to be hallucinations.Smells awful. Considering about flooding the valley to put it out.

I ordered the farmers to flood the farm caves, but somehow a tree has grown to block the floodgates. Somewhat bizarre.

3rd Granite, 1064

I finally figured out where everyone keep sneaking when i look away. The last ruler ordered a 300-foot-long gecko to be built as an decoration. While it's rather pretty, i ordered the construction to be suspended, on the threat of bashing their heads in.

By the gods! "Megor Grendel" tried to extract the flaming puppy, but caught fire and died instead! By the gods, WHY?!

The elves have come. I have been told we promised not to cut down toom much trees last year... i think they'll be less than happy about the massive defoliation campaign that has been going on.
They said nothing. They only traded their wagon of cloth for a few of the many slightly-burnt weapons laying around the gate. I think the piles of yellowing bones and the still-smoldering Grendel put them off a bit.

Uh. I can not play this any further. I do not know if i have the strength
The most useless immigrant wave ever. 20 nobles. Nothing else. This will slay me.

How can i keep them out long enough to PULL THE LEVER

WHAT CAN I DO

Edit: No, seriously. every stockpile is on fire, the nobles are tantruming because they want me to make talc dildoes or somesuch. I have 16 non-noble dwarves.
I'll go for the adamantium

ahahah oh god the miners guild representative wanted to pick up some clothes and now he runs around on fire