Part 48

10th Sandstone

Things have gotten. . .bad.



I wander the halls of West Headshoots, lamenting at what this fort has become. Still, I manage to largely hold myself together, despite my miserable lifestyle.

A frighteningly large number of the dwarves remaining in East Headshoots are children, champions, and nobles, unwilling to help with ordinary work. Furthermore, our booze supplies remain critical.

Phrog, unable to witness the decline of his formerly great fortress any longer, was struck with The Madness and was torn apart by the fort's hounds, despite entering a martial trance.



A pair of chained war dogs find themselves entirely surrounded by the lava flow, unable to do anything but watch in horror through their green glass window.



Still, despite all this Whitecloak and Shadow Gamer keeps their minds set on the future of the fortress, planting and brewing plump helmets with all their might. Manuel Calavera does his best to fashion new barrels for them to store their Dwarven Wine in. Whitecloak's endless toil earns him the title of 'Mayor'.



Things become complicated when the map's complete lack of trees is remembered, meaning no additional barrels may be constructed. Luckily, plentiful barrels have already been made. Unfortunately, they are universally filled with food.

Spanish Matlock, left for dead in West Headshoots, went the pathetic kind of crazy and strangled several of the fort's remaining kittens before I was forced to gun him down. Even with three crossbow bolts stuck in his chest he crawled his way across the long hallway to me and managed to seriously bruise my left arm.



As the dust clears and the lava begins to dry Easy Headshoots is forced to ask itself "What now?". A mere 7 work-ready dwarves remain: Robot Uprising, Whitecloak, Shadow Gamer, Manuel Calavera, ObMeiste, Ur Getting Fatter, and CaptainAwesome 2nd. The rest have gone mad from grief, pain, or pride and refuse to contribute to the rebuilding of Headshoots. Seven dwarves. . .not unlike the seven dwarves first to found this magnificent disaster.

Let us assess their non-combat skills (as nearly 6 Champions and Hammerlords should keep the fort safe from outside threats, at the very least) and divide the responsibilities of rebuilding Headshoots among them:

Robot Uprising: Legendary Pump Operator, Novice Gem Cutter
Whitecloak: Cook, Grower, Great Socialite
Shadow Gamer: Legendary Gem Cutter
Manuel Calavera: Legendary Bone Carver
ObMeiste: Worthless
Ur Getting Fatter: Novice Gem Cutter
Captain Awesome 2nd: Worthless

Lamentation strikes the fort as the severity of the situation sets in.


During this season Skanky Burns and Jackard burned to death, while Lucid, Duckbag, Rathen, SirSamVines, SWATJester, and ProfessorBling died of thirst and/or hunger.