Part 66

It seems that Hollistic detective's "lava immunity" was due to a full suit of well made adamantine platemail, with the chestpiece being a legendary work, engraved with the defeat of landslantern on the front. Even while splattered with vomit, blood and booze it looks pretty awesome. We can only hope it will stand up to goblin crossbow bolts should they eventually advance.



Oddly enough, nobody has bothered to bury "Uncle jam". He's rotting in the hallway and it's really starting to smell. However, despite the miasma, nobody seems willing to haul his maggot-infested carcass to the crypts. I figured they would be more respectful of the guy who made  WEAPONTRIBUTE , though given what it's currently doing I can kind of understand...



Whitecloak was re-elected as mayor on the "make me more bucklers" platform. In celebration he bought an entire store and filled it with bucklers.



Said building was Uncle Jam's coffin. The belgian dragged it to the forgotten sub-tunnels under the fortress and left it there. I really really wonder what thsi guy did to piss everyone off so bad.

Meanwhile...



:Oh god what the hell was that!? S-some kind of..rotting goat thing!

: Oh shit..oh fuck..who's fucking idea was this?! Who the hell wanted us to come out here!? Augh there's more of them!

:I..it's raining lava and everything smells like death, I wanna go home

Back in the fortress...



Oh come on, is he really gonna try this after what just happened to the last kobold?



Why yes he is. This little idiot ran into a room full of champion soldiers...only to come flying back out the door seconds later.

In 5 pieces.



Aw man... while I was busy watching the troops rip the kobold limb from limb, it turns out whatever broke Phrog's hand (and earlier leg) in the first place came back and broke his spine. I don't think he's getting out of that bed anytime soon...



Suddenly, a previously unseen squad of goblin lashers and wrestlers charge the fort with a horrible warcry! Where did these guys come from!?



A small gap in the lava pool formed, providing safe passage across...Now is the time! Attack!



The carnage is indescribable. Once the wrestlers charged into the group, the war cry became screams of pain. Organs, limbs, heads and more flew from the battle. What's even more impressive is that most of the soldiers here do not carry weapons, they are literally tearing them apart with their bare hands.



Why, one unlucky goblin took a direct uppercut to the chin during the fight. He proceeded to zip across the sky and fly nearly 3 screens diagonally from the battle before he met the ground with a loud, fatal crunch.



The first battle won, we decide to take it easy again for a bit and let the goblins just deal with the rotting fiends outside. Suddenly, "Judenhauer" begins to scream at us in an incomprehensible language, charging down the halls shouting about his furrer or furyer or something. He claims a workshop, then begins to demand silk.



Manuel calvera agrees to help make the needed spider's silk. However, "Grab spider webs no more than two rooms away" translated to "run down a long hallway, into a room full of gears, shafts and lava then up the stairs towards the goblins" in his mind. He is killed quickly by a bolt to the throat and the goblins discover a back entrance to the fort. The military thankfully arrives in time...



The goblins are lead by a guard who's full title seems to be "the fright". He suddenly began a large monologue about the unwinnable war and how Manuel was only the first of many casualities. He then began to leap around shouting "THE FRIGHT" so much that one of the dwarves tore his lungs out in a rage.

Inexplicably, he proceeded to explode after death, destroying his corpse.



The gore was spread over multiple floors. Besides Manuel, no casualties were reported. One dwarf's spine was lightly scratched, but he's expected to recover. Manuel will be given a small tomb for his help during the headshoots divide.



His death also caused the other weavers to wise up and gather the easy to get webs. Soon, Judenhauer was able to begin work on whatever he's decided to build. I still can't understand him...

We'll have to see what he's making next time.

PS: It's safe to assume that anyone who asked to be dwarfed in the thread during my turn has been dwarfed.