Part 45: YOTC: Update 1

A cloud of dust springs up from the ground as their boots clap heavily against the smoothed stone floors, the screeches of horrible beasts coming from down that hall as the group sprints down the corridor.

"What the hell is that thing!" the elf of the group yells out, directing his question not at anyone in particular, "It tore Ci'algal in half like he was made of paper!"

A stocky dwarf is the only one of the group grabs the back of the elf's cloak and pulls him back down the hall, pointing out a particularly sturdy looking solid gold door left half ajar. "In here," she says, almost frantically while she pushes the door closed from the inside, her companions rushing into the room and helping her secure it.

The door strains on it's hinges, a layer of rust popping off of where the iron hinge is bolted into the rock wall. After a moment the second dwarf speaks up, "I've only heard horrible tales from years ago, but... I thought they were all myths.. stories they told us to scare us into being good little dwarflings," his voice trembles as he speaks, the sound of flint meeting steel as he tries to light a torch.

The room flickers into view as the torch lights up and the group stares in horror across the sea of coffins as far as their torchlight carries. "Oh gods, the rumors were true... They DID exist," the dwarf continues as he wades slowly into the room, holding his torch over the coffins, scanning the lids for something.

"WHAT! What existed," the elf begins to become frantic, following the dwarf until he bumps his foot against something, making a clattering as a pile of gold bound books tumbles to the ground. The room is bathed in a pale blue glow as the human at the back of the group finishes his chanting. "I believe you'll find more information in these books than you will be able to get out of the dwarf. It is a part of their history they don't speak of if they can avoid it," he says as he walks over and hefts one of the books onto a nearby sarcophagus, turning it open to the first page.

"It's dated over 150 years ago," the elf says, looking back to the pair of dwarfs that seem to be examining the graves in the room for something. "Why would they build an outpost all the way out here then, their empire was nowhere near this far south?"

"Greed, probalby," the human replies as he begins reading out loud from the tome.

1st Slate, 143, entry in the diary of YOTC


I have no idea how this came to pass. All as I know is that I was drinking some delicious wine and all of a sudden I was told that a vote had been made and I was in charge of the fort.

Sometimes I worry about our society as a whole, such odd decisions we make. Good example would be why are we out on this god forsaken iceburg. I should be back home, dealing with foreign relations with elves and trying to prevent the Count from killing his subjects for not building trinkets for him out of rock crystals. Such is life as a dwarf I guess. I'm gonna go read the books on this place if I'm stuck being in charge of it for a year. We'll see how that goes.

2nd Slate, 143

I believe this says a lot about the state of the fortress, some of the food we have is listed as "Don't cook this under penalty of hammering" despite the fact that we should be cooking it AND we don't have a hammerer. I believe I remember why I came here now, to escape political craziness like this. There is some good news though.



Lots and lots of metal bars have been smelted, I made a quick visit to the smelters today and to my supprise I found that they had all been told to stop production. No idea why there, but they're now back up and melting metal as quickly as possible. The magma forges had been stopped too, probalby from the last dwarf that went nuts and decided to build a golden boot(as beautiful as the thing is I still don't see the point). Our weaponsmith, Emenides I think his name is ,is now on full production of some steel hammers and spears and swords and the like. It never hurts to have extras of those in my opinion, same with the great creator of the boot, Vox Nihili, though he's makeing more armor from the steel we have.

I also left orders for some gold crafts and coffins to be made around here. If  THEY  return this year I want to be ready for the inevitable casualties.




Also I discovered that our legendary obsidian Quern wasn't built and in use. I ordered it built in the main hall in the hopes that it brings up the fortress' spirits when they walk by it.

5th Slate, 143

It took me two days but its finally done,



Why we have this many stone and bone instruments is beyond me. If we were trading them I could understand the need, but we rarely get visitors here and when we do they usually get slaughtered before they get here. Especially with the piles of skulls that have been forming in the refuse room. I've ordered construction of totems so that we may sell anyone that DOES show up to trade the pretty little skulls of  THEM .



I've also ordered some rock spears to be made for a project I have in mind.



7th Slate

Not much else to say about that, he was issued a hammer and I was told to stay out of the barracks if I wasn't there to spar when I went to congratulate him.

15th Slate
I decided to inspect some of the work our smith have been produceing today.



Needless to say I am quite pleased.

21st Slate
I was woken from my sleep today by Sirocco about a possible threat to the fortress.



I agree that this mighty lizard might be a threat to the fortress and have thus sent Sirocco and Spermy Smurf to 'take care of it.' I do hope it's head will look good in the dinning hall.

22nd Slate



I've received reports that Sirocco has become afflicted by the sun sickness. I do hope this won't interfere with the killing of that delicious looking drake.

1st Felsite



Those two dwarfs are still out there, I hear they've been beating woolly mammoths to death with their hammers in frustration. Apparently the drake just flies away if they get within attack range.



Seriously that drake is really annoying, anytime a dwarf got within 10 tiles of it, it would just fly up like 5 layers and land 40-50 tiles away. And the mammoths were taking MASSIVE punishment from war hammers, definitely need to mix up the weapons as the dwarfs would stun them for like 20 frames of beating them in the head and NOT manage to kill them.

3rd Felsite

Apparenly no one had been ordered to process the querry bushes we were growing and it was starting to cause a buildup on the food stockpile.



I've assigned a dwarf to do nothing but this until we've caught up a little.



9th Felsite

I had an interesting conversation with one of the older fortress residents.



Apparently one of the previous rulers told him not to mine anymore, despite the fact that he was legendary around the fortress for his skill in the field. I told him to go back to mining but not to neglect his duties of speedily transporting food around the fortress.(In all honesty the speed at which he moves makes him as good as 4 peasant haulers and I'd much prefer him to do this, but we mine so little now a days that the other 3 can take care of it.)

13th Felsite

Part of my project has finished today, hopefully we will be able to use this the next time  THEY  arrive. The weapon traps are filled with sand people weapons and some of the copper war hammers we have no use for, and the spears should work well if we can push enemies off the bridge into the front entrance onto them.



15th Felsite

The drake has gone missing, but I shall continue having one of the squads patrol the area in shifts. Hell Male Man even managed to kill one of those woolly mammoths.



29th Felsite

I was bored today so I sat on the chasm bridge and named the batmen that passed by.






It's been a slow month...

1st Hematite



Ah good, I've been told that the humans have arrived for trade this year. I asked our mayor/trade representative how many of them their were as I ordered piles of flutes and a few bins of cloth brought to the trade depot and his response startled me.


Not even close to all of them

8 wagons and four or six donkeys... I've ordered more silk brought to the depot.

5th Hematite

It took 5 days for them to unload their goods and for us to discuss a proper deal for their massive amounts of wood, booze, meat, and metal bars.



I even gave them a few of our instruments for free to improve their mood in hopes that they would return to this wasteland next year.



6th Hematite

I think I'm going to be slightly sick, I just met the human guild representative while having my daily meeting with the mayor and my god, I don't know how he walks around like that.



Speaking of the mayor, apparently

happened while I wasn't looking.

Also apparently


I have no idea how these elections happen when I'm not looking but it's very confusing sometimes.

7th Hematite

My weekly inspection of the forges ended... abruptly today, as I was thrown out of one of the forges by rather insane dwarf.



He kept screaming things about aluminum and lobsters and how they don't stick to things. I have no idea what he was talking about but I do hope he finishes doing whatever hes doing in there so production can restart.




9th Hematite

I had to sent he military outside today, apparently there was a sand raider raid on our depot again.



It didn't go well for them though, the dwarfs got outside to find the humans had killed almost all of them (apparently having 5 archer guards makes melee fighters into pin cushions.)

Though we did acquire something quite interesting out of the raid.


I know the cages were designed for  THEM  but they seem to work well on sand raiders.

14th Hematite

Dear diary, I had the most delicious meal today, I've decided to draw a picture of it here since not much is happening around the fortress as of late. Though I did order the catacombs to be expanded and smoothed for the next invasion.


16th Hematite


I've been told that Eumenides has finally started working on his little project after spending a month gathering materials. From what I can tell he has this inside his forge:



I do hope it is some sort of aluminum statue so we can place it in the main hall.

18th Hematite

Again! Silliness like this is why I left the old country. The mayor has declared that since no one has made any glassware for him someone has to spend 51 days in jail.



This is madness I say.

20th Hematite

I was inspecting the clothing shop today when Eumenides ran up to me holding a large chunk of sparkling metal, screaming something about Leba Townburn. I figured it was some goblet or fancy musical instrument at first but then I got a good look at it.




This might be the most expensive crossbow I've ever seen.



It is also one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. I take back anything bad I ever said about the weapon smiths.



10th Malachite
Things have been slow since the creation of gallowsdrenched. I've decided to switch to the next book since I only have a page or two left in this one.



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The human closed the book and placed it back atop the pile on the floor as he began digging through it to find the next in the series. "That's it, that didn't describe anything like what we saw out there. I thought you said it would, and what was with those burned out parts of the page? It looked like someone etched the words out with something." the elf says hastily, pacing frantically around the room as the dwarfs reinforce the door by pushing a large statue up against it.

"Patience elf," the human says in a low grumble as he pulls another book out of the pile, "it is not like we are going to go anywhere with the only entrance blocked by that statue and those things out there, and your right, that is a little odd. it appears that these notes have been redacted, how discouraging." A smile comes over his face as he lifts another book, this one plated in what looks like pig iron, and brings it gently up to the coffin before opening it and continuing...

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This turn was pretty uneventful, it got to the point where I sent the military out after that drake because nothing had happened for almost a month. Hopefully part 2 will be more entertaining.

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Sirocco wrote :-

The Journal of Sirocco: SEVENTH ENTRY

Hey, diary!

I had my first taste of action two weeks ago! I feel so... dwarfly. How many dwarves get to defend their home against evil creatures everyday? NOT MANY, DIARY, NOT MANY AT ALL! If my fish dissecting brother could see me now he would be so envious!!!

Anyway! YOTC (he's our new overseer) sent me on a heroic quest to deal with a most insidious creature - the terrible ice drake!!! I have attempted to recount the tale for prosperity in my journal for future generations to enjoy! BUT NOT PRESENT GENERATIONS! I'M SERIOUS!!! DON'T THINK I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU READING MY JOURNAL, GUYS!!! STOP DOING IT OR I'LL WRITE SOMETHING REALLY HURTFUL AND THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY!!!

It all began one bright, sunny morning... (ha ha ha, gotcha, it was snowing like always!)

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I ran into YOTC's bedroom and shook him awake.

'YOTC! YOTC! Wake up! There's an emergency!!!'

He sprang to his feet. 'Is it THEM?!'

'No! It's a flying lizardy thing with big claws and teeth!'

I curled my forefingers and pretended they were fangs to better illustrate the danger that threatened us.

'It flies through the air like WHEE and it makes these noises like ROOOAR and it-'

'Is it a dragon?!' YOTC asked, grabbing me by both shoulders and looking at me square in the eyes. Very serious business! 'Answer me!'

But I'd never seen a dragon before, so I thought it would be best to show him. We ran towards the entrance of the fortress and looked up - there it was... flying in lazy circles near the summit. Its scales were an iridescent blue and from time to time a long indigo tongue would snake out of its mouth to taste the air.

'Sirocco, that's an ice drake.'

I stumbled backwards and leant on Patsy (that's my hammer) for support. 'That's the biggest duck I've ever SEEN!' I said, aghast.

'What's a duck? Never mind, I don't want to know. Just kill the damn thing and bring me its head.'

'Are you charging me with the duty of protecting Syrupleaf against this fell beast?! Really?! You mean it?!'

'Take Spermy Smurf with you and tell him to make sure to bring back your hammer if you get eaten.'

'Hooray!'

And then I ran off, towards adventure and destiny!

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Very exciting! I never actually got to kill the drake because it was so high up but I did get to have a swing at some of the big fluffy things with the long noses! At least I hope they're noses, ha ha ha!

So, what else have I been up to?! Well, now that I'm a mighty champion I thought the ladies would be ALL OVER ME, you know? But no one's even looked so much as twice at me. To be honest, diary, I've never been very good with girls. So I decided to start up a dating agency for Syrupleaf! Let's bring those shy and reclusive dwarves together! Here's my one! Wish me luck, diary!!!

Hey there, ladies!!!

I'm a fifty year old male looking for a long-term relationship with a compassionate, lively, and playful brunette! I like copper, saltpeter, shale, obsidian, and a GSOH. I really hope to meet a girl with similar interests. If you want to meet up for some deep discussion about how great (!!!) Syrupleaf is then engrave a time and place for us to hook up below! Here's a picture of me:



I may look like a rugged, mean soldier with windswept features and a surly disposition but inside I have a heart of gold!!! Hope to see you soon, my little fluffy wambler!!!

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Sirocco wrote :-

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Chance II wrote :-

Alius, consider yourself fan-arted in about an hour when I get off work.

Edit: Hells a commin' boys!

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