Part 1

Welcome to hell.

This place, as far as I know of, is unnamed. It is referred to as "our country", so shrug. I'm going to guess Brazil. Or maybe Peru. Because I like Peru.



....pffffttt ahahahahahhahaahahahahahahaha.

Seriously? That's Adam? Ah hahahaha oh my God I can't even look at him. He has a MULLET. I find it hard to believe that he grew up a few years looking even more like a doof than he did. He looks he belongs in the hit movie Biodome. He looks like he should be hanging out with Bill and Ted.

In short, Jesus, Adam, what HAPPENED to you?



At least Al Boreland got a more graceful graphical update.





This guy, as you'll find out, is a douche. I mean, it's pretty obvious and we're only a good ten seconds into the game.

: "Official business, Senor. You will wait your turn. I said open that luggage NOW!"

And open it he did. (youtube) (dailymotion)

: "I can't believe it!"

: "I think we've got jet lag."

I think you're just getting a pretty strong whiff of some of the drugs being torched over the next hill. This is a dirty, generic third-world country after all.

: "NOW it is YOUR turn. Passport and immunization card, please."

: "Just stamp it, I've got to get out of here."

_{(his coloring makes his character portrait more butchered than usual, so that's the best he's going to get. He's a fag anyways so who cares about him.)}

: "I have a few questions, Senor. Are you here for business or pleasure?"

: "I'm a surveyor for Cibola Development if you must know. Can we get on with this?"

I like how this guy is dressed like every single villan from Captain Planet.

: "Empty your pockets, if you please, Senor."

: "What? You've got to be kidding me!"



And you don't argue with a face like that!

: "I have other identification. Perhaps it has the information you need. Really."

: "Indeed? I will just look at it before searching you."



Wait, that's not identification at all!

: "Welcome to our country."



CORRUPTION!

: "This place is a sewer."



Jesus I hate this guy already.

: "That was majorly rude."

: "That kind of attitude is hard to take, I agree."

: "Business or pleasure, Senor?"

: "Business."

: "Exactly what, Senor?"

: "Ecology Emergency Network. We develop sustainable products with some of the rainforest tribes."

: "Sus- what?"

: "Like Brazil nuts, soap, herbs - things that can be harvested without cutting down trees."

Al Boreland got bored of the ocean apparently. Eluria is probably covered in trash because their great protector is in the middle of BFE.

: "Whatever. Welcome to our country. This boy is traveling with you?"

: "Yes, he's my son, Adam."

: "Passport and immunization card, please."



He's going to stamp that thing really, really hard apparently.

: "Welcome to our country."



: "Passport and immunization card, please."



Screw that, I'm Adam, protector of the seas. I don't follow your ru

: "You cannot enter the city until I stamp your passport!"

You doubt my importance, I see.

Fine, accept this humble offering of money. It worked for that douche.

: "Uh, could you tell me where I could change this money?"

_{no stupid you're supposed to pass it to him under the table you idiot}

: "Do I look like a bank to you? I just stamp the passports."

>:|



Adam so smart.

: "Welcome to our country."



Reallllly thrilled to be here.

_{I miss Dolphy.}