Part 4: The Museum of Technology

You know what? Screw it. Today’s my birthday (for a little under an hour, at least), so let me get you all a present: a bonus update. The rest will go up tomorrow.

Part 4: The Museum of Technology



Sweet, heading to the Washington Mall! Hey, I should stop by J street; all my DC friends tell me there’s something awesome there.



Man, look at this place. I still can’t believe what’s happened to DC. Shouldn’t they have rebuilt this place after everything blew up? Hell, I haven’t seen a single Combine soldier or Xen dude or anything. Damn it, nothing’s made sense since I woke up in that vault!



And what the hell is wrong with all these headcrab zombies? They don’t have any headcrabs on them at all. They look more like…I dunno…regular zombies. But faster. And older. Hell, this guy looks more like a mummy, really.



Oh good, this way’s got directions, too.




…Robbie? Is this seriously Robbie the Robot in a can?




Sweet, I loved Forbidden Planet! Lemmie just fire it up…



Wow. It’s like seeing one of my childhood fantasies powering up.



Wasn’t he in Lost in Space too? Or was that a different robot?



Man, I loved those old B movies. Probably why I went into physics.



Oh, sweet, it saw something! Kick its ass, Robbie!



Shit, it blew up. That’s kind of disappointing.



THIS IS FOR ROBBIE, YOU SONS OF BITCHES!





That’s weird, he doesn’t look like he was in the military. I thought the scrappy underdogs usually fought on my side.

Kind of a crazy outfit, though. Hey, I wonder…



Nah, not really my kind of look. I should probably stick with the lab coat.

Wait a second…



What the hell? Where did that undershirt come from? Is there some sort of magic underpants gnome wandering around here? I’d better watch my back.



“Let’s Go Sunning” by Jack Shaindlin

Let’s go sunning
It’s so good for you
Let’s go sunning
Beneath the sky of blue
Feel as free and happy as the day you’re born.



Let’s go native,
Sun your cares away
Be creative
Learn to live and play
Pretty flowers need the sun
This applies to every one,



Life’s worth living
When nature’s giving
Happiness to everyone
So let’s go sunning!



Let’s go native,
Sun your cares away
Be creative
Learn to live and play
Pretty flowers need the sun
This applies to everyone,



Life’s worth living
When nature’s giving
Happiness to everyone
So let’s go sunning!



(Please note: I just now skipped a sidequest.)




Thank God, finally some daylight. Black Mesa was a mess, but at least most of the areas were pretty big.



Ouch, looks like someone took a bite out of the Capitol building.



Fuck, more of the big dudes!


(This is Gordon Freeman.)



(This is Gordon Freeman on drugs. Any questions?)



Awesome, it’s still here! I was kind of figuring the aliens would have blown this whole area up like in Independence Day or something.



Wait a second, why is the information terminal old-tech? I understand all the new systems using the whole green and black system, but wouldn’t the Smithsonian Museum of fucking Technology upgrade at some point? Screw it, let’s see what it’s got.





What the fuck? “Virgo II?” I thought that Three Dog guy was just talking out of his ass, but does this computer seriously expect me to believe something called “Virgo” landed on the moon? It was the Apollo mission! This is seriously creeping me out now.



Guess those dudes must have built that vault I was in earlier. I wonder if they knew the “uncertain future” would be an alien invasion from dimension X.



Some kind of employee log…looks like they’ve all been time stamped. That would make it…2077?! WHAT?! Holy shit, and it’s on the copyright line and everything! Damn it, I need to read those things more often!

Let me see if I’ve got this straight. Aliens invade in 1998, shit happens…I dunno, was it around ten years later? Maybe six? Then the humans rebuild and get to 1940’s atomic bombs, 1950’s robots, 1960’s moon landers, 1980’s computers, and fucking POWER ARMOR. How does that even work? And why did everything explode AGAIN? None of this makes any fucking sense!

Agh, get a grip, Gordon. You won’t get anywhere just standing here staring at a computer. Now go find that…ugh…“Virgo II” lander.



There, see? That’s funny, right? A bunch of overlooked inventors got their portraits stolen, and now we’ll never know what they looked like. Irony’s funny, damn it!



Oh, and here’s a vault tour. I bet this will be loads of fun!













That actually was kind of fun, in a 50’s commercial sort of way. What’s this?



I FUCKING HATE HELICOPTERS.



Looks like a Mercury rocket. I wonder what they—hang on.



I always wanted to fire one of these. So what do they call the Mercury?



“Delta?” This is just too goddamn weird.



And what do they call this? The P-51 “Stallion?” Hold on, is that—oh, hell yes! Finally!



Looks good to go. Just pull it off the lander and—wait. Something seems wrong.



WHAT. THE. FUCK.