Part 7: Vault 112
Part 7: Vault 112
Hey, Robbie! You’re alive!
Ow! Damn it, stop shooting lasers at me!
WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THAT, ROBBIE?
“Anything Goes” by Cole Porter
Times have changed,
And we’ve often rewound the clock,
Since the Puritans got a shock,
When they landed on Plymouth Rock.
If today,
Any shock they should try to stem,
‘Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock,
Plymouth Rock would land on them!
In olden days a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking,
But now, God knows,
Anything goes.
Good authors too who once knew better words,
Now only use four letter words
Writing prose,
Anything goes.
The world has gone mad today
And good’s bad today,
And black’s white today,
And day’s night today,
When most guys today
That women prize today
Are just silly gigolos
And though I’m not a great romancer
I know that I’m bound to answer
When you propose,
Anything goes.
When grandmama whose age is eighty
In night clubs is getting matey
With gigolo’s,
Anything goes.
When mothers pack and leave poor father
Because they decide they’d rather
Be tennis pros,
Anything goes.
If driving fast cars you like,
If low bars you like,
If old hymns you like,
If bare limbs you like,
If Mae West you like
Or me undressed you like,
Why, nobody will oppose!
When every night, the set that’s smart
Is intruding in nudist parties
In studios,
Anything goes.
The world has gone mad today
And good’s bad today,
And black’s white today,
And day’s night today,
When most guys today
That women prize today
Are just silly gigolos.
And though I’m not a great romancer
I know that I’m bound to answer
When you propose,
Anything goes.
If saying your prayers you like,
If green pears you like
If old chairs you like,
If back stairs you like,
If love affairs you like
With young bears you like,
Why nobody will oppose!
And though I’m not a great romancer
And though I’m not a great romancer
I know that I’m bound to answer
When you propose,
Anything goes…
Anything goes!
Finally, this must be it.
Doesn’t look like a car’s supposed to go here.
Good chance this is the place.
Yep. Hope the door works from this side.
“Please re-dress in your Vault-Tec issued Vault suit before proceeding. If you have misplaced your suit, I am authorized to distribute a new one. Once dressed, please proceed down the stairs to the main floor so that you may enter your assigned Tranquility Lounger.”
Wait a second. 200 years? Did that thing seriously say it’s been 200 years since the vaults activated? That can’t be right! Everything’s still a blasted landscape, the water is still too radioactive, all the plant life is still dead, all the paper hasn’t biodegraded…hell, there’s still plenty of bullets everywhere! For crying out loud, it’s the East Coast and it hasn’t rained once since I got here! I know a nuclear war or whatever happened would destroy significant portions of the planet’s ecosphere, but it should have recovered more than this by now.
Oh, whatever. Stupid alternate universe.
Now this looks more familiar. I remember a few arrangements back at Black Mesa that were built like this. I don’t think we called any of them “Tranquility Loungers,” though.
Damn, that woman looks messed up. Did she get a dose of radiation poisoning before jumping in or something?
This guy looks different, though. Hold on…he’s got the same armband computer I do! Is this the James guy I was supposed to be looking for? Convenient. I’ll just pry this thing up…crap, it’s stuck! Sure wish I had my crowbar. I guess I could try getting in one of these freaky pods.
I’ve got no idea what good it would do to watch TV, but I might as well. Heck, getting into mysterious pods worked when I was trying to climb up the Citadel.
What the fuck just happened?
And why do I feel so short? And this shirt…I haven’t worn one of these since I was old enough to dress myself.
Where’s the exit? This is like Hell’s cul-de-sac. I feel like I’ve fallen into an even creepier version of Pleasantville.
Hang on, is this house abandoned or something? That doesn’t seem right.
What the—? Did this gnome just “ping” when I touched it? Hmm, sounds like it made a “negative” sound afterwards. I wonder…
Alright, so it’s radio, pitcher, gnome, pitcher, cinder block, gnome…now what?
Whoa!
Neat. This must be how you program the simulation from the inside. I do believe I shall take a closer look…
“…I haven’t been skiing in ages.”
“…very long time, indeed.”
What’s this?
“…perfect failsafe.
At least it would have been, if not for my own misjudgment. I knew, when the simulation first went online, that the secondary safeties—those established for all Vault-Tec and military personnel—would prevent my own real-world demise in the event of a Failsafe execution. In the end, I would kill the subjects, and save myself.
I wouldn’t want it any other way. Or so I thought.
It’s true the Failsafe would scare the living hell out of every resident in Tranquility Lane, and lead to their brutal deaths. But then—what about me?
I have no ability to disable my own safety from within the simulation. And any other avatars I could create would be driven by the simulation’s A.I. routines—not actual living, thinking, human subjects.
Where’s the fun in tormenting a machine?
And so, the release of the real-world subjects is more than they deserve, more than I could bear. They’d be dead, and I’d be left here in Tranquility Lane, alone and tragically bored for all eternity.
I can think of nothing more unacceptable.”
“…failsafes off, as requested…your real-world test subjects WILL die if killed in the simulation.
It goes without saying that, officially, I denied your request.
General Constantine Chase
-----
US MILITARY TRAINING PROGRAM 923-B:
CHINESE INVASION
Purpose: Simulate a Communist Incursion on US Soil
DOCUMENTATION CULLED: NEW PROTOCOLS ENACTED
- DISABLE SAFETY PROTOCOLS 1-6
- OVERRIDE TARGET ACQUISITION
WARNING: TEST SUBJECTS WILL EXPERIENCE REAL-WORLD TERMINATION. PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION!”
Sounds like fun.
Wow, there really are a bunch of Chinese soldiers gunning down all the women and children.
Take that! Nuts, it’s not doing anything.
Oh hey, a door.
Ah, that was fun. I wonder if anyone else ran for the giant, glowing door?
Oh good, someone else made it out.
“It’s good to see you, but…What are you DOING here? Well, regardless, I’m glad you found me. This certainly wasn’t how I expected things to turn out. I wasn’t ready for Braun, or I might’ve fared better. But thanks to him, I know that Project Purity isn’t lost after all.”
Oh, HE’S the Project Purity guy. I suppose I should have guessed; he even looks a little like that Liam guy.
“I was right about Braun. The technology he developed is unstable, even dangerous, but it can be adapted for Project Purity. I need to return to Rivet City and talk with Madison. If we can find a G.E.C.K., we can make Project Purity work. And with what I’ve learned, Madison is sure to see that we can finally succeed where we failed so many years ago. I’d like you to come with me. I’d like you to be there when we finally open the floodgates. Let’s hurry. Now that I know what we need, I want to get back to work as soon as possible.”
That was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Is the G-Man getting soft, or am I just that awesome?