Part 43: Junction City, Part 1: Stop Reaving, God Damn It

You can thank Lazyfire for mentioning my LP in his Wolfenstein: The New Order LP, it really helped me get back to it. Also, his LP helped me buy Wolfenstein, which is probably the best game of the last year and the best FPS since... Metro: Last Light? I was going to say Human Revolution, but that game punished your for shooting people, which, considering the amount of guns in the game, is a little disingenuous. Unlike Wolfenstein, which actually encourages you to shoot Nazis.

Post 43: Junction City: Where Are All The Raver Chicks At?



Hoho, looks like a welcoming committee.

We don't take too kindly to welcoming committees around these parts, stranger!



These guys at the gates are called "Enforcers".

Basically, any town that can defend themselves operates like Imperium of Man, in regards to Brotherhood.

Brotherhood provides protection from external threats and deals with crimes that concern the 'hood, while the local rule falls to whoever is running the show.



There are only two kinds of people who actually need money for their sick mothers: sickly children and women. Anyone else is trying to fleece you.



Looks like a toaster with a dildo to me!

But if it's a robot part, it's a robot part.





I don't think you want to rub your dick on a circuit board. Not twice, at any rate.

Anyways, we also ransack the town for all they have. It isn't much.

I remember one reviewer being excited about people actually reacting to you entering their home and stealing stuff in Gothic, way back when. Too bad the game looks worse than Quake II and has a control scheme of a piece of farm equipment.





"Aw, man, let's not go to the bar, that place is the pits!"



This guy has voice acting to match his squeeky asshole demeanor.



Yeah, that doesn't work. The only gambling that Flashman does well is betting on how many teeth can he knock out in one punch.





This level is one of the more colorful ones, much like the Beastlord siege. Some of these towns could have made for good hubs in a more traditional Fallout game.

All in all, Junction city looks somewhat prosperous for a town that was likely built from the ground up after the war.







This guy would be happy to sell us the robot arm, but Flashman, uh, gambled away half the needed sum with the shitty bartender.

In ten years, games will have advanced enough that we'll be able to gather opinions of townspeople and then decide if shooting the bartender is an option.



Kids taken by the Brotherhood have a 37% better chance of not being eaten by dingoes!

BoS, in any Fallout game, serves only two purposes: to teach how to use power armor, and to provide power armored corpses to show how tough something is. Maybe recruiting everyone you can get your hands on is a good tactics: if those squads you send out will get killed no matter what, why not do that with expendable tribals and mutants?

OK, that would be waaay too meta, but organizations in video games developing tactics to got around shitty plot writing of their creators is still more believable than game devs making characters use actual military tactics one day.





Our future mechanic seems a lot more comely than... uh... whatshisname again? Well, she's a good replacement.





Good as new! Well, as much as some old fogger can be considered new.

Probably 50 years old or something, what with harsh life in the wasteland.



Gramps is off to Farewell ranch!

And Brotherhood gains another qualified technician. Suck it, Junction city! Try fixing your own shit now!



Fixing pops' pooping and black tongue problem nets Stitch another level.



Another sister joins the Brotherhood!



Chances are that I will totally forget that box in the next update.



An expert in ballistics, eh?



This old dude is just waiting for someone to get killed, so he could steal their boots.



Your gate doesn't really align with the road and is clogged with junk. You're gonna claim that's a tactical decision, isn't it?



Truly this is the last evolutionary step of iPhone Users and the lesser known Early Adopters.



That's a plague doctor statue and you can't convince me otherwise!



Some of my soldiers take positions around the town in case Reavers attack.



Hey, look, what's that?



Oh, it's just an nondescript pile of papers.



There's a difference! The Brotherhood is not here to kill you! It's here to convince your children to enlist and then get killed.





She is kind of a bitch.



Aaaah, the Canadian invasion conspiracy was true! They have already won! Why didn't we do anything? Well, anything more than just invading Canada for oil and killing their civilians?







That's some impressive hair!

So yeah, we have to kill to some Reavers. Which is good, since we kind of expected that. Have to find out something about this new-yet-well-known threat.

By shooting it.



Here they are. They're kind of like mummies with fur trimming. Or those Tatooine tribals.





Nothing says "high tech raider zealots" than that BDSM samurai mummy look.



...I don't. I think.

Eh, my shitposting has already guaranteed me a place in Hell.



Some of these Reavers have some impressive firepower. See, burst shitenanginans are not over.



Needless to say, the Reavers are camped about a stone throw away from the town. That's the least impressive bridgehead/spearhead deployment ever.



And it gives my snipers something to do!





I'm guessing that devs didn't give the reavers too much ammo, so that the players wouldn't just start running around shooting plasma and lasers.

That's why a lot of tech freaks end up running towards your snipers and getting shot like chumps.

Suckers! I have enough 7.62mm to last me till civilization recovers and destroys itself in an another nuclear war.



Well, time to do something about those two Reavers with miniguns.





Some enforcers decide to earn their pay, and no by extortion and rape.

...anyone remember last time when "enforcers" or, heck, "militia" of any kind were ever good guys in a game? Well, not that "enforcers" are that positive in real life.



Flashman has an outing shooting some Reavers and now needs some burn ointment.

Like, a barrel or so.



Aw, another minigun armed chump that's powerless against our sniper shieldmaidens.



Mandy finally gets down from the wall to shoot some more Reavers and the game promptly crashes.

Well, we'll continue next time!

Next time: lootin' lasers