Part 149: Matou household / Full armor double Saber

Joining me for commentary on this update is Kethryveris ()! Let us explore the deep and dark world of Taiga's cooking together.





Kani-tama, huh?
I guess even Fuji-Nee should be able to make that.

I don't know. Fuji-Nee seems like the kind of person who could burn water, let alone eggs.

Music: Surrounded by Smiling Faces





"Ohwell, I was just close by, so I thought I'd drop in."


"'Just close by', huh? All right, I'll say that's the case."

She doesn't fall for lame excuses like that.

I think she talking about what she'll say to Shinji when he's beating her for talking to Shirou.

Why must you always be right?



It's a big smile, and it doesn't look like Shinji's forcing her.

I never, ever, EVER want to hear the word 'forcing' again when it applies to Shinji and a girl.

The game has to get its sister fucking from somewhere.

"Sakura. I really don't have any business here, but where's Shinji?
Is he home right now?"


"Nii-san? No, I don't think he's home yet."

"He's not home…? Then who called my house? Weren't you told to come back here by Shinji?"


"Huh…? Fujimura-Sensei only told me that I should go home since my grandfather's waiting."

""
I see.
…But it is true that Shinji hasn't done anything to Sakura.
Shinji's her brother after all.
He would never involve such a good sister in this battle between the Masters.

As trusting as Shirou is, it's a good thing he never ran into any perverts with "candy" or a "lost puppy" when he was a kid.

He would no doubt try to help them find their puppy who mysteriously got lost in a nearby van.

…And there's one thing I have to tell her so I don't involve her in this mess.


"Good. Um, Sakura. Can you stop coming to help for a while?" "U-Um, Senpai. It's a bit sudden, but I don't think I can go help you for a while…"


"Huh?" "Eh?"

We look at each other, dumbfounded.
We stare at each other for about ten seconds.


"U-Um… It's a bit disappointing, but it relieves me to hear that from you. I was told to stay at the house and not go anywhere during the night for a while."

"Y-Yeah, you're right. It's getting dangerous recently, so we should've done so earlier."

This whole conversation has this terrible "we've been naughty" vibe to it.

Just imagine it with Issei instead. ...Wait, no, that makes it worse.

Why do you think Issei is always meditating to clear out those impure thoughts?



It's disappointing, but it'll all go back to normal if I endure it for just a short while. Please come see me at the archery club until then, Senpai."

Sakura bows and goes back into her house.



…I don't tell her about Shinji.
I don't want her to consider him as an enemy until I figure out his true intentions.

His true intentions couldn't be more obvious if he rented a billboard. Even then, Shirou would probably be like, "Ha ha, Shinji, you're such a kidder! Now call off your Servant, she's disemboweling me for some reason."



She must be hungry, as Saber quickly makes her way to the living room.

"I see. I haven't eaten anything she's made since we were kids."
I'm half scared and half looking forward to it.

Music: Stop



Pretty much everyone reading this.

Even the eternal optimist was only half looking forward to it. That's a bad sign right there.

Music: Gentle Everyday



But it should make the rice taste better since it's in a bowl.
It's like katsu-bowl and teriyaki-bowl.
There's no way it can taste bad because the good taste of the ingredients seep into the rice.
The only drawback is that the taste is simple, but that's a small price to pay.



We bow and dig into our food.

Music: Stop

Then.
The food isn't soft like kani-tama. No, it feels strange like I'm eating a main dish.

What- what does this even mean?

I thought kani-tama was the main dish…




"N-NO WAY!?
We have an emergency!! The kani-tama turned into something else in under a minute…!!!"

Music: Gentle Everyday



"………"
…This isn't an emergency or anything.
This is more like an okonomiyaki bowl.









Since when has Taiga been good at following directions?

"Just like she was told" probably means she added a bunch of things to make it "even better".

"…Wow. Did the people at the Fujimura family teach you how to make this?"


"Yeah. I told them I'll be making a big omelet, so they gave me flour and other stuff."
"……"

I wanted her to realize the mistake right then.
I thought that being able to make an omelet was a function every human being was born with.
Kani-tama is just a variant of an omelet.
It was my mistake to assume that Fuji-Nee couldn't mess up something like that.
That's right, Fuji-Nee can't even cook an omelet…!

I totally called it.

"Shirou."
…Then.
I hear a voice filled with disappointment.
"Saber…?"
I slowly turn to her.



…Crap… It's hard to tell, but it seems Saber's mad…

Soo… does this qualify as Nasu's food torture porn?

It's the food porn equivalent of a rape scene.

Music: Stop



Well, if by "reported" Shirou means "left out the most important things" then, yeah…


"Then we will not be going out tonight?"
"No. It might be vexing for you, but sit tight for tonight. I don't intend to fight needless battles, and also, we're not in a condition to be fighting freely."

I'm inexperienced as a Master, and Saber has a limit to how many times she can fight since I'm not giving her any magical energy.
We can't be leisurely looking for Masters in our situation.




"But. If you have a will to fight, we cannot spend time leisurely. If we are to stay here tonight, we should use this time to train."

Saber stares at me.
She doesn't even need to tell me.
I brought Saber to this dojo with that in mind.

"I know. Do you remember what happened last night?
We trained a bit since you told me I was slacking off for coming home late last night.
…That was a good lesson for me. No matter what I do, I can't beat someone I can't beat. I couldn't realize such a simple thing until I fought you."

It takes a special kind of for that to be a major realization.

We always knew Shirou was VERY special.

"With that in mind, I think it's important to train with you.
I don't know how effective it'll be, but I should be able to survive longer in battles if you train me hard."

Shirou likes it hard.

And thick.

And from Archer. …wait, what were we talking about?


"Then Shirou…"
"Yeah. Can you train me whenever we have the time?
For today, that'll be until we go to bed."


I take the shinai on the wall.
…It's still eight o'clock.
There's still four hours until bedtime, so I'll train my heart… out!?



Because as Saber turns to me…

Music: Premonition of a Storm



"What is it? It seems you would like to train your readiness for battle, so I am only answering your enthusiasm."
She is obviously ready to kill me.

It's self defense. Taiga just did the same to her.



I shall take that dullness out of you first. You should be alert so that something like tonight will never happen again."
So she is mad about dinner…!

"W-What is that!? That was all Fuji-Nee's fault!
A-And even though you complained, you ate all of it"



By the way, Shirou. I will tell you before you faint. That was out of necessity. Please do not forget that."

"Oh"
…Saber disappears.





It really is Shirou's fault. He could have at least made Saber a sandwich when he saw that …thing… Fuji-Nee called a crab omelet.

I think he was too busy clutching his stomach in agony. …much like now.