Part 218: Answer

Video: Twin Swords (mirror)

Music: Clashing Souls





The attack that I blocked breaks through.
Kanshou in my left hand is destroyed by his Kanshou and his weapon sweeps at me from the side.





"Damn……!"
I bear the pain by cursing and swing Bakuya at the close enemy…!









"Did you think my Kanshou and yours are equal? Your assumptions of the basic structure are too weak.
Even if you get the appearance and the composition materials down, it is a matter of course for it to be destroyed if the structure is not reasoned out. Even an image falters if it is illogical."



My temple and my side.
He attacks both my vital spots at once.
"Ah!"



I immediately "project" the twin swords and parry the attacks!



"!"
My head hurts to the point of blurring my sight.
It's not because of the strain of immediate projection.
This is that headache.
The instinct I felt when I was searching for Tohsaka.
The slight fever I got every time I faced him.
That strain now threatens to drive me mad

















The red headache burns my eyes every time I do so.
Is it because of the contradiction that Emiya Shirou and heroic spirit Emiya are existing at the same time?
Ever since we recognized each other's identities, my body breaks every time we touch each other.

I traced his sword technique and even his reproduction ability.
It's natural for them to suit me.
His abilities are Emiya Shirou's optimal technique, perfected over many years of training.

There's no way it would not suit me.
In trying to match his skill, I allowed myself to learn too much about my future self.





I am no match for him, and my vision fills with red every time we exchange blows.
If that's the worst of it, I don't care.
My body is already torn apart.
My headache is nothing compared to the burning wound in my stomach.
The problem is that the headache won't stop because there's something I'm still drawing out from him



"That's the fifth one. You should be nearing your limits of reproduction using projection. I know your magical energy capacity. You have three more. …Even though I showed THAT to you, you still misunderstand."

His scornful voice contains some disappointment.
Misunderstand…?
I don't care about that.
More than anything, I have to do something about this headache right now.
The thing flowing from you

"Well, it will be impossible for you even if you arrive at that. It is not enough with the magical energy you can generate right now.
Yes, either way"













Music: Stop





Music: Footsteps of Destruction



This is his memory.
The reason he changed so much.
I can see bits and pieces of what will happen to Emiya Shirou in the future.





…But still.
It seems he did not care.
There was an ideal and an oath he had to protect.
He did not care what he lost to do so.

Even when he was betrayed, he believed there would be a next time if he did not betray himself.
He did not show grief or pain.



He is like a cold-blooded machine to others.





It's not something to go around proclaiming.
The more he kills and the more he is unable to save, the less he can talk about his ideal.
The only thing left for him is to obstinately protect his ideal until the very end.

And the result…
The ideal Emiya Shirou dreamed of has never been accomplished,
and he found out that it's just nonsense dreamed by a fool who is only a nuisance to others.







""
My mind gives in.
I won't feel compassion.
I won't feel compassion.
I won't feel compassion.
I won't feel compassion, but…
My mind almost gives in, thinking that I will be following this exact path.



What you believed in.
What you believe in.
You're shown that it is just a fantasy that is covered with lies, and still

Video: Durandal (mirror)

Music: Clashing Souls



"!"
His weapon closes in.
A horn-like sword comes to pierce my heart…!

"Guh!"









I get away.
I have in my hands the twin swords I quickly projected.





"I guess it's a miscalculation.
I've heard of magic that lets you acquire skills from the past by possessing yourself with a previous self… It seems your skills improve the more you fight me."

"Haa, haa, haa, ha"
My shoulders heaving, I prepare myself for his attack.

"Then my projection shouldn't be the only thing you got from me. That face. Seeing that nasty face of yours, you saw it too, Emiya Shirou?"











"Fuh!"
But.
Even though I'm empty-handed, he throws away his sword.
He projects Durandal, the renowned sword of the king

"Haah!"







I skip about four steps and quickly reproduce his weapon.
But of course, such an imitation is destroyed in one blow

Music: Stop



""
I fall.
I'm repelled, and I land with my back on the rubble.





"Ahkuh."
That surprises me.
The rubble turns red just by having me fall on top of it.

Music: Footsteps of Destruction



…Oh.
I already know, but it seems my body is almost dead, outside and inside.





"There is no value in such a life.
I'm sure of it. There is no value in Emiya Shirou's life.
…It is wrong to save just because you want to save. You are a fake that should have never existed as you are broken as a human being."

""
My magical energy is almost depleted.
Not only that. The Magic Circuit to run the magical energy is burned up.
…No. If I talk about it burning up, it burned up yesterday when I used projection.
It's just that an almost broken thing completely broke.



"Ha"
But my body is telling me I can still fight.
My mind bluffs itself, saying that it has not given in.
"Oh."
Then…
I have to get up and defeat him.



"It's useless. I am your ideal. You should realize that you cannot match me."



"HaaHaaHaa"
…I focus the last of my will on the Magic Circuit.

"!"



My split nerves scream.
But I carefully put together the eight steps.

Video: Counterattack (mirror)





I project his twin swords.
Kanshou and Bakuya, two great swords named after an ancient swordsmith.







I swing them.
I keep attacking until my remaining energy runs out…!





My twin swords are met by twin swords.
Archer now holds Kanshou and Bakuya and parries my attacks without retreating.



His calm tone pisses me off.
I can't even breathe, but he is calm and composed.









"Damn."
He does not parry my attacks, but pushes them back.







Music: Stop



"WhatI don't want to become one. I'm going to become one…!"
I glare back at him.
Then…

"Yes, you need to become a superhero.
Because that is your only emotion. An emotion you can neither betray nor deny.
Even if that wish is not born from within you."

He stops me with words that grab my heart.

"Wha"
…Not born from within me…
I deny them even before I think about what those words mean.
I can't let him finish.
I can't realize that fact.
If I find out, Emiya Shirou's foundation will crumble.

Music: THIS ILLUSION (piano ver.)

For some reason, tindeck won't let you stream this, so just download it.

"Oh. It seems you have a vague idea of it.
No, you knew it, but you tried your best to keep that fact from yourself. I cannot even remember now."

"St"
I start to say before I stop myself.

I don't want to know.
I know that I shouldn't know.
But stillI know that I must know.
The contradiction of Emiya Shirou.
The answer to what is wrong with me, and how I am distorted.





"That's right. It's not that you felt guilty for being the only one saved.
You just admired Kiritsugu.
You wanted to become like him only because he looked so happy when he saved you."



A tragedy without any survivors.
Kiritsugu, the one who caused it, must have frantically searched for a survivor.
And he finally found a survivor that should not have existed.
The man found a surviving child that could not be saved.
If you talk about miracles, it is…



…That's enough.
Emiya Kiritsugu saved a boy who had nothing.
So

"Yes, it's natural for a child to admire his parent. But you went too far.
It would have been fine if you just admired what Emiya Kiritsugu wanted to become.
But he left you a curse at the very end. I do not even need to say it, right? That is everything for you."



…That's the answer.
Hearing my casual remark, he left the words 'I'm relieved' behind him. And then that man, who was emptier even than me, died.
At that moment, Emiya Shirou had to become a superhero.

My will does not matter.
For his sake, I simply tried to become what he had admired since he was small.
The wish for everyone to be happy…
…Is an impossibility dreamed not by me, but by Emiya Kiritsugu



Video: Defeat (mirror)



"You should know, Shirou.
Your ideal is borrowed. You are only imitating what Emiya Kiritsugu wanted to become, what Emiya Kiritsugu thought was right."

"That… is…"
I grit my teeth, desperately trying to resist my mind that is about to give in.
But…



"A superhero? Do not make me laugh.
Over and over, you said you wanted to help people. But that wish is not your own.
You are conceited to think that such a man could help anyone!"















My fingers that held onto the sword break.
The sword I made using all my remaining power is bent back by one blow.
""
I'm dead.
I'm on the verge of death from the first blow. So there's no way I will be able to block the next attack.

"Oh."
But still…
My mind is about to give in, but my body denies it with all its might.
It's telling me I'm wrong.
It appeals to me, saying it's wrong to give in to his words and to die here.



…The echoing of the swords isn't all I hear.
He…
He curses himself every time he attacks.





"That's right! I admired his desire to save people because it is beautiful!"



I block the oncoming attack.
Bakuya is destroyed. All I have left is Kanshou in my left hand.





Kanshou is bent and its existence is fading.
…My heart is hurting.
Not because of his attacks. His words slash at my heart.





He keeps on denying himself.
My heart tries to give up every time I hear him.
My body wants to succumb to the force of his attacks.
But still…
That same body keeps desperately denying him.









""
But I still hold my ground.
I frantically endure the attack coming down at me.
I will not be able to get back up if I fall down.
So my body refuses to let me fall.



"Haah, haa, ha……!!"
I use Kanshou as a cane and hold up my falling body with my arms.
I must look pitiful.
I might look as if I'm kneeling down and begging him.





There is no value in living, no, in my life itself.



"………"
My weapon is about to disappear, and there's little point in trying to keep my body from falling.
In contrast, he isn't even scratched.

Music: Stop

The match is decided.



No, the match had been decided from the start.
There is no way for Emiya Shirou to beat heroic spirit Emiya.

…But that is a mistake.
If the difference in our powers was large, the fight wouldn't have turned out like this.

It is my mind that lost.
My mind was weak because I realized that I am wrong and that he is right.
That was my only failure.
Because

Video: Emiya (mirror)





Why?
Why did power enter my body every time he cursed my ideal as fake?
"Shut up, dammit……!!!!"













…A hero who used a poem about himself as his spell.
Even if I don't understand the meaning behind it…
I will accept those words in your place.



Then…
Just as you deny me…
I will defeat you with all my powers!

Music: Emiya







"That's right. I already knew that…"
…This is just a dream.
But I kept on believing in it because I thought it was right.
Kiritsugu pursued it because he knew it was an unattainable dream, an impossible ideal.

Even if it may be unattainable…
He believed that he would reach his destination if he kept running.



"Her sheath…! Its protection is still there, even though the contract does not exist anymore…!"

















"Nu!?"
His attacking body is on the verge of death.



His fingers are broken, his limbs are slashed, and his breathing has stopped without him even realizing it.
His speed is nothing, and his attack is mediocre.



The boy that has absorbed his combat skills to the point where he's able to fight decently, has now returned to fighting without them.











Up and down, left and right.



The four attacks are enough to cut off his limbs and to cut up his body to pieces!







"You…!"
He intuitively understands that he will be killed unless he attacks.
The longsword attacks the enemy that is on the verge of death,
and the boy frantically swings his sword.
Their swords crash in balance.
The space is filled with sparks, and anything entering the space should be cut to pieces.

But it should be the last spark that a dying man gives off.
The boy loses his breath every time he attacks, almost falls, holds his ground, and attacks again.

""
The sight reassures him.
There is no power left in his enemy.
The boy in front of him is literally on the verge of death.
So…
So why do those arms have seemingly infinite power?



"………isn't…"
That's all that's filling my head.
My ideal is fake. He's right. I can't be a superhero.
As long as I admire such a thing, I will end up like the man before me.



That's the only thing driving my dying body.

"!"
He cannot hear what his enemy is saying.
His enemy's voice is weak, yet his attacks are relentless.













Straightforward attacks without strategy.
If it is a shame to turn his back to such attacks, it is also a disgrace not to block them.





His enemy will self-destruct once he retreats.
But he has a presentiment that he will lose something important if he does so.



"Damn."
He clucks his tongue at the stupid thought.
He previously thought that his enemy would last two more blows. But he has received over ten blows since then.

The boy will not fall.
"…………!"
He cannot hear the boy's voice.
The dying boy frantically opposes the obstacle in front of him.





That figure…
He stares at the figure with his own eyes for the first time.



"………isn't……!"
My barrage of strikes are compensation for that scream.
…There were people that could not save others, and there was me who could not save them.
I swore to myself never to let such a thing happen again, seeing the memories that meaninglessly disappeared.

"……It isn't……!"
How long has it been since then?
There were things I lost,
and there were things I dropped.
There are always things that will be forgotten.
So I swore to myself never to forget this one fact.





I believe in the wish contained in those words.
Even if everyone in this world disagrees with me, and even if I myself curse me, I





He realizes that the attacks will not end.











The boy keeps challenging it, knowing that he won't win and that there's no meaning to it.
That is the exact mistake he has detested.
So why…?



Why does he want to see how long the boy can continue?

"……! This is it, disappear!"







He raises his longsword.
His enemy's attacks are something he has to take seriously.
He repels the attacks and crushes his enemy's skull for sure.





A clanging sound.
The fatal attack is easily deflected.
The one who could not block his attacks until now repels a swing made with all his might.



He gasps.
He sees his enemy repel his sword and get back into stance.
The boy's eyes are…
…Looking straight at





This is my final blow.







The unwavering gaze.
Faults and lies,
shaking off everything,
running without stopping





Those words are driven into his chest.
An attack made at full strength, defense that should have been fast enough…
The cogwheels never got into gear and the battle is decided quickly.

Music: Stop











""
The one surprised is the knight in red.
His enemy attacked with determination to defeat him.
Then it is natural for his attack to do so.
The boy does not need to be surprised, nor does he have anything to spare to be surprised.

""
That is why the knight is the only one that is surprised.
It is a great wonder how he could not block an attack he could have easily blocked.



"Archer, why…?"
…Was she watching all this time from that place?
Still standing at the entrance, Saber questions Archer.

""
Archer does not answer.
He might not need to answeror maybe he doesn't know the answer.



"!"
My fingers throb.
My broken fingers scream at me that they do not want to hold the sword anymore.

""
…The knight in red does not move.
Even with a blade in his chest, a Servant should be able to easily counter-attack.
But his hands are lowered and show no sign of moving.
I know without being told what that means.