Part 353: Matou household murder case / Last piece

"Welcome back. I won't ask where you were, but you certainly took your time."

"Tohsaka…? What is this?"
"Isn't it obvious? Sakura went out by herself, and Rider has been glaring at me until now.
…I guess she's under orders not to hurt you. She switched to spirit form and ran out as soon as you came in."

"Wha"
Tohsaka sounds calm.
…No, that's not it.
Her voice doesn't sound calm.
Her tone is one of cold disinterest, as if she's given up on something.

"Tohsaka. Sakura really went out…?"
"It's true. She was gone before you left, so it's already been two hours.
I don't know what her intentions are, but I guess she doesn't want to follow our directions. She had Rider stop me from going after her, so she must not want us to know what she's doing."

"Don't be stupid…! Sakura wouldn't hide things… from… us"
I can't say for certain.
…Sakura's nightmare.
I have no idea what Sakura thought about her deteriorating body.

"We have to bring her back…! If we leave her alone, it'll…"
"There may be victims. She might drain magical energy from anyone she sees, like when she attacked me at school.
No one was attacked by the shadow last night, right? So she must be hungry."

"Tohsaka."



Tohsaka looks away and swallows her words.
Her eyes say to give up,
telling me it's all over.

"Tohsaka, you…"


"We can look for Sakura. I agree with that.
Butonce we find her… You know what to do if Sakura isn't herself anymore, right?"

"That's not possible. Sakura will always be Sakura."


"Are you insane? Can't you tell she's at her limit? Give up already, Shirou. If you keep protecting her, you'll be the first one to die"

"We can make stupid speculations later. We need to find Sakura and bring her home right now. After that I'll argue with you as long as you like, so shut up for now…!"


"Hey, wait, Shirou!"

Music: Nightmare



"Shirou. Are you going to go look for Sakura?"

Music: Stop

""
Then.
Someone unexpected calls to me from behind.



"…Ilya."
"Tell me, Shirou. Are you going to go look for Sakura?"
""
I nod.
Ilya's voice is tense.
The despair in her voice is different from Tohsaka's. As a Holy Grail, Ilya must understand what condition Sakura is in.

"I see. But Shirou, Sakura went outside by herself because she didn't want you to see her. She's scared and doesn't want to die, but she still chose to end herself in order to protect you.
The Sakura you like doesn't exist anymore. She went out by herself to eliminate herself."

""
Ilya looks straight at me.
I meet her gaze and shake my head.
I won't let that happen.
Even if Sakura isn't Sakura anymore, there's only one thing I'm going to do.

"……I see. But Shirou. Both Sakura and I have another self in us. It's probably not the Ilya you know, and it's not the Sakura you know.
Sakura won't come back. She'll just be a different person after she changes.
But you still refuse to kill her?"

A quiet question.
This is what Ilya really means.
The Holy Grail is made with the premise of it breaking down.
So I don't need to hesitate about destroying it.
But to me, it sounds like she's talking about herself rather than about Sakura.

"Shirou. Let me ask you one more time.
Are you still going to go look for Sakura?"
"………"
I don't know how much emotion her question carries.
So I honestly tell her the path I chose.

"Yes, I'm going to go look for her. Sakura will always be Sakura to me. The same goes for you. Even if you turn into a mysterious thing like a Holy Grail, you'll still be Ilya."

"…No matter how much you may have changed.
If Ilya is inside you, you'll be the Ilya I know."



Ilya looks so sad.







"…It's open."
I stop before I ring the doorbell.
…Did someone go in or come out?
The front door is half open, and it's dead quiet inside.

Music: Footsteps of Destruction



There's nobody on the first floor.
My footsteps echo through the hallway.
The floor creaks as I make my way to the stairs.



I turn to go back downstairs, but I stop.
A living person.
The strange feeling makes me head to the room with a slightly-opened door.



I think that was two years ago.
Nothing's changed.
A girl's room. It's a simple room suited for Sakura.
And on the bed…

Music: Stop

"Shinji."
…Is the corpse of Matou Shinji.



Music: Footsteps of Destruction



"You traitor! You're home late!"
He gets on top of her as he screams.
He scowls at the girl he pulled to this room.
"!"
The girl's chin jumps.

Yes, the sequence is always the same.
This man is the absolute master.
The girl loses her will.
The only resistance came during the first time.
The secret affairs after that were the same.
The girl made no attempt to fight back, never showing even a sign of emotion.
She did like she was told to.

The reaction is the start of a regular routine.

"Hahyeah, that's what I expect from you!
That's right, you don't change, no matter how quiet you pretend to be.
You're a Matou woman. You're a vulgar failure of a magus!"
The man roughly pushes down the girl's body.
"Hm…! No"
A spasm runs through her.
The man smiles, believing the reaction is the same as always.

It's no different.
Their relationship will never change, no matter where the woman may run.
Even if she regains her emotion or finds another man, she will want him once he pushes her down.
This woman is his possession.
It doesn't matter if she is the heir. She is merely a toy given to him.

That's why he doesn't notice until it happens.
The girl struggling beneath him feels no excitement.
He doesn't notice that she's filled with nothing but disgust and loathing.

"Oh, you sure are energetic today. I see, so Emiya wasn't able to satisfy you. I see, I see, that's great! I bet Emiya is depressed now!
The girl he fell in love with was a real sex maniac!"
Does that knowledge please him more than the act of violating her?
The man laughs from the bottom of his heart and reaches out for her clothes.
He'll do the usual.
He will not undress her.
He always exposes her body.
He rips the clothes off her, as if tearing her apart.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

A crack opens in the girl's chest.
At that instant…
"Nostop! Don't come near me, Nii-san…!"
The girl refuses the man with all her might.

"Huh?"
The man stops.
He looks down at the girl as one might look at a mysterious thing.

"What did you say? What did you just say?"
A voice of surprise.
The girl gulps, but stares resolutely back at him.

"I-I said please don't come near me. I won't obey you anymore.
…Senpai accepted a girl like me. He said he'll protect me…! I'm not yours, Nii-san! I'm Senpai's now…!"

The girl frantically tries to push the man off of her.
But the man will not even budge.
"Wha"
A hollow voice.
The man looks down at the girl on the bed.

"Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up, you whore!"
And he starts punching his sister in a rage.

"Emiya's…!? You won't do as I tell you…!?
Don't get it wrong, you don't have such a right! I'm the one to decide! You just have to nod back like always…!"
He does not hold back.
The man has no sanity left, having been denied by his possession, something that should never betray him.



"……!"
That is the last straw.
He can't stand the look in her eyes.
He doesn't want her staring straight at him.

So…
"I see. Then I have a plan too. Do what you want if you like Emiya so much.
…But Sakura. You shouldn't hide things from someone you love, right?"
He decides to reveal everything the girl fears the most.

"Nii-san."
Her eyes open wide.
"Hah."
He laughs.
The expression of despair pleases him a bit.

"That's right, Sakura. I'll tell Emiya all about it. He accepted you, right? Then this is nothing at all."
"N"
She can't form the words.
The girl stares in astonishment.
She looks up at her older brother with empty eyes, just like before.

"Hah. Haha, ahahahahahahaha!
That's right, that's all you can manage! Just be obedient if you don't want that. You're my toy. Don't disobey me no matter what…!"
The laughter fills the room.
But for the girl, it only sounds like annoying howling.



She doesn't want her SenpaiShirou to find out about her secret.
The relationship with her brother, her task to supervise the Emiya household, and her eleven years of life in the basement.
Her Senpai knows.
He already knows.
The only thing he doesn't know about is her relationship with her brother. But he should not hate her, even after finding out about it.
Shirou will probably forgive her.

"Oh."
Right.
Just like last night, he will destroy something in order to accept her.
But that's why she cannot bear it.
She doesn't want to take anything more away from him. She would rather keep things like this.
She can let her brother rape her, like she always does.

"N"
But she can't.
…She was able to bear it until now.
But now her body belongs to Shirou… and the thought of giving that body to her brother disgusts her.

"o."
She cannot accept either.
She doesn't want to be violated by her brother, and she doesn't want him to tell Shirou about their secret.

All that's left is her naked emotion.
The mind that has been suppressed for eleven years…

The man grabs her.

"NoNo, no, no, no…! Stop, I don't want this, please stop, Nii-san…!"
She resists with all her might.
He laughs at her futile efforts.

"Hah, what are you saying? You want it, right? You don't care as long as it's a man. Oh, that's why I have to tell Emiya about it."
He laughs.
He laughs.
Her brother laughs.

""
And she realizes.
He will tell him.
No matter what happens, no matter what she does, he will tell her Senpai about it.
…No matter what.
He intends to ruin her for his own amusement.



But…
Why isn't he protecting such a small thing?
""
…No, he's not the only one who isn't protecting her.
She thought for a long time.
She has cursed for a long time.
Why.
Whythe world around her hates her so much

""
The strength floods out of her body.
She loses her will to resist, and her brother looks down at her in satisfaction.



Video: I wish… (mirror)

"HaHaha, hahahahahahahahahaha!"
Asserting his dominance, he starts like he always does.
The girl stares up him with empty eyes.
"I wish he wouldn't exist."
Eleven years.
She thinks something she has never thought during that time.

Music: Stop




""
The air makes a sound.
The man on top of her falls down.
Fresh blood splatters onto her.
The girl raises her body and looks at her silent brother.



"Oh."
It was an instant death.
He must have been hit with a very sharp string.
A line is visible on the back of his head, as if it was drawn in with a pencil.
The line reaches his brain, but the line is too thin to make his brain spill out, and his blood is the only thing flowing out.









"Oh."
She looks down at it without emotion.
The shadow that killed her brother wavers.
It wavers in the gray sunlight.
Her own shadow…
Her own shadow is standing up and wavering.

"Ah."
So she's the one that killed.
It was she who killed her brother.
She understands, but does not feel anything.
She feels nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
No disgust, no fear, no guilt, no regret.
The only thought in her vacant mind is that it was easy.



She saw it in her dreamso did she copy what she saw?



"Ah, ha."
She doesn't know.
But she thinks she should've done it sooner.
If she'd known she wouldn't feel anything, she would've done it a long time ago.
She thinks, and…
"FuFufu."
…Her empty emotion murmurs that it was fun.



Where?
When?



What?









Dream.
Dream.
That's right. She wasn't dreaming.
Those dreams were







Not dreams.
The one that wandered through the night and killed the men was herself.
Yes, she killed many people.
She killed many, many people.
KILLED those that ran away KILLED without leaving a drop KILLED everyone KILLED with pleasure KILLED laughing KILLED laughing KILLED laughing…!!



"Haha! Ahaha, hahahahahahahaha!"
It's so funny that her stomach hurts.
It's as if she's regressing mentally every time she laughs.
But it's so comforting and natural.
Oh, how stupid, how stupid, how foolish…!

"FuFufu, ah."
Her face is contorted in a manic grin.
In place of her silent brother, the girl sweetly spills out a voice like glass.

…And like that.
After tinkering with her brother's body like she's playing house, she gets up.
She stands in front of the mirror, still covered in blood.
Behind her stands the shadow that killed so many.

Her own shadow.
The black shadow that has eaten countless people.
Someone was there, trying hard not to turn her into it.
Someone was there by her side.
She laughs.
There was never any hope for her.

"I see. I was slowly going crazy."



She twirls in front of the mirror.
The girl makes a proud smile.
"Look, Senpai. I was crazy from the beginning."
And speaks as if asking for a dance.



Something talks to the girl.
Behind her.
The darkness stays as darkness, shows up as a presence, and looks at the girl.

"You have killed many people, Sakura."
The girl doesn't reply.
She doesn't even need to acknowledge such a question.

"You cannot live as a human anymore."
The girl doesn't reply.
She doesn't even need to be told about it.

"Accept the shadow. Nobody can stop you. Seize the daughter of Einzbern and obtain the Holy Grail. That is the only way for you to live."
"Yes. As you wish, Grandfather."
She nods quietly.
Did she agree because it sounds fun?
Or did she just want to run away?
The girl doesn't understand her own mind anymore.

But the pain in her body goes away as soon as she accepts it.
…It crawls up.
Black mud comes out from her core and smears itself on her skin.
The pain turns into fire to burn her skin.
Like a curse…
It turns her white skin into something else.

"Oh. With this, I…"
…Won't lose to anyone.
Nobody will get in the way.
She knows that she is the strongest one now.
The absolute certainty is similar to a sexual uplifting.
In her mind, the girl defeats everyone who has threatened her.
She pierces their legs as they run, rips off their arms as they fight back, stitches shut their mouths as they beg for mercy, chews on their eyes as they cry from pain, and finally gouges out their heart, laughing.