Part 94: Girl's yell

Music: Ever-present Feeling





"!"
I know.
I know without him telling me.
…But why is everything so complicated?
Saber must not obtain the Holy Grail.
But it is the only thing that can save her.

'If you wish to be with her, you should give up the Holy Grail.
If you want to keep Saber, all you need to do is feed her souls'

…I can't do that.
Even if I accepted that, Saber wouldn't.
She would rather disappear than do such things.
She would disappear and repeat this kind of war?

'Then, keep one Command Spell.
That way, your wish shall be granted.'



"Damn… why am I even thinking about it?"
I lean on the rail and spit it out.
I know I should just ignore Kotomine's opinion.
But his words had a charm that make me unable to ignore them.

…What did I want to do and what was I trying to fight for?
At first, it was to end the Holy Grail War.
When did that purpose fade away and become secondary?
Was it when I was obstinate about fighting by myself?
Was it when I decided to cooperate with Saber, after I painfully realized how powerless I was?

Or.
Is it from that time I made a sword for her, after that night in the ruins?



I'm just trying to deceive myself with all that.
I don't even need to think about it.
Back then.
When I met her in the moonlight in that shed, my mind was already made up



I want to stay like this.
I want to keep watching her smile



"Ow."
The girl, watching the sunset alone on that hill of swords.
My chest hurts thinking back to it.
She never had time that was her own.
…I just don't like that.

Kiritsugu said we shouldn't let girls cry.
I think a smiling face is much better than a crying one.
That's why I was irritated when Saber wasn't smiling.
But when I told her to smile.
She said that it was better if she saw me smiling.
That's…
It's like seeing stars through a telescope that you can never reach.



"I like her."
I say so to no one.
However dull I am, I have to admit it.
There's nothing I can do about it.
I like her so much that I can cry for no reason.

Music: The End of Reminiscence



And then.
Tohsaka is standing in the doorway.



This would be suggestive if Rin weren't a raging lesbian.


"Here's some tea. It must've been cold outside."
She says so rather bluntly, but she's thoughtful.

"…Yeah, thanks."
Honestly, I appreciate the hot tea.
It's about an hour to the neighboring town.
Since I walked slowly, my body is freezing cold.



She asks me directly.
…I see. So Tohsaka knew all along.
But she didn't even stop me, just waited for me to come home, and prepared me some tea.

…I've made up my mind, and I appreciate Tohsaka's thoughtfulness.
That must be why.
"Yeah, I did. I had something I wanted to ask him."
I reply honestly, not hiding anything.


"I see. I won't ask what you went to do. That's fine with you, right?"
"Yeah. It wasn't anything too useful either.
I just confirmed the situation."


"I see. But I'm surprised that Saber isn't a complete Servant yet. It's like a bad joke that the strongest Servant is the least complete."
"Yeah. Saber shouldn't have become a Servant."
I nod.


"That's a surprise. Maybe you and Archer could've gotten along. He said the same thing you did."


"…Eh? Archer, you mean…?"


"Yeah. Archer said he regrets it, so he doesn't want Saber to experience the same thing."
"…? Why would he worry about Saber?
Didn't he hate her?"


"That's true. But I think he might have been a knight with some connection to Saber.
He was obviously going easy when he first fought Saber, right? I suspected it after that."

"Really? But it didn't seem like Saber recognized him."


"Is that so? But Saber was the king, right?
So she can't have known all her people, and there's also the possibility that she's forgotten him."

"…Hey now. We'll never get anywhere if you start saying things like that. If she sees him and doesn't recognize him, I think that means she doesn't know him."


"That might not be true. According to the legend, there were many knights that got chased out of Camelot. He might have been one of them.
If he was hiding his identity because of Saber, that would make sense."

Tohsaka's actively talking to me.
""
Is she trying to care for me?
I don't think it's having much effect, but she's a nice girl.
She's usually merciless, but she tries to help people when they're weakened.

Music: Stop

…And so, we drink tea together for a while.
She must have run out of patience as she looks at me seriously.


"So. What do you want to do, Shirou?"
"Hm. I'll go on a date tomorrow."
I can't think of anything else, and I already decided so on my way home.
…And then.


Where did that solemn atmosphere go? After making a really rude face, Tohsaka…

Music: Gentle Everyday


"HaHaha, ahahahahahahahaha!"
…Bursts into laughter.



"Heehee, hold on, I-I wasn't ready for that, aha, ahahaha! That's great, that's so amazingly selfish, Shirou!"
…Damn! Now that I think about it calmly, I should have known this was going to happen. I'm such an idiot…!

"S-Shut up! What's wrong with being selfish? I know this isn't the right time, but I won't let you interfere!"


"N-No, no. Shirou, Shirou, you're too funny, hahahaha."
Tohsaka hits my back, holding her stomach.

"Guh…"
Could this be the worst treatment I've taken so far?



She tries to catch her breath.
"…That's good for you. It's not funny at all for me."
I complain.
Then.


"Do your best on the date. I like you guys."
Tohsaka says so, her attitude completely changed.

"Ah… uh. Yeah, I will."
I manage to reply.
…That was a real surprise attack.
If she says that kind of a thing with that kind of an expression, all I can do is nod

Music: Stop