Part 10: Fuck This Game

Oh, we'll get to the chapter title soon enough.





There's the good ol' Floating Continent. Not much to do there right now, though.



This is the path to that Dark Sword city we heard about. We can't go there either.



In fact, the only new place we can get to with our new airship is this valley with the fast winds.

Oh, wanna see something unique about FF3?




You can have random encounters on an airship in certain areas such as this one.




Joy!




Anyway, we've made it to Doga's Mansion. Let's talk to him and







oh fuck



OH FUCK MOOGLES




(Listen to this.)

Suddenly, an old man pops up to save us from a Moogle onslaught.



Who's ready for a plot dump?

Doga: The person who's bringing the darkness to this world is Zande. Like me, he was a student of the great wizard Noa. When Noa died, he gave me his powers of magic, entrusted the dream world to Une, and sent Zande to live among humans. But Zande wasn't satisfied with that. He searched out the ancients' devices, and with them and the Crystal of Earth, he caused that earthquake.
Stalin: But Goldor shattered that crystal...
Doga: Goldor? Ah, that was just the Crystal of Gold that I made. The Earth Crystal is still sleeping somewhere.



So Zande's bitter because Doga got some kick-ass magic and Une gets to control a fucking dream world, while Zande has to watch after a bunch of idiots. I can't really blame him for being an asshole.

Also, Goldor didn't have a real crystal. He got bent out of shape because of his stupid gold crystal. If Goldor weren't so fucking greedy, he wouldn't have set up his own demise. Goldor is the biggest idiot in the world and I'm glad I punched the fucking life out of him. Then again, what else would you expect from a filthy capitalist?

Anyway, Doga's joined, so let's see what he has to say.

Doga: Please come with me to the Sorcerers' Cave. The entrance is a tiny one, so we'll need to be midgets to enter. The candle in my room is the switch to open the entrance.
Doga: I've fallen ill... I can't defeat Zande with my own powers. And with the monsters of darkness all over, I can't even get through the Sorcerers' Cave...

Who's ready for another dungeon where we have to be tiny?




This is the first game with Moogles. I don't think I was aware of this until I actually reached this part my first time playing it. It gave me another reason to tell people why FF3 was better than their favorite FF game. Also, these guys actually talk, because they're not idiots.



They also sell some kick-ass magic. Some strong attack magic, sure, but also Haste, one of the greatest spells ever created and something I really wish I could use with a fighter. I have a feeling I won't be running into a shop selling Ciders.



Anyway, this candle unlocks the way to the cave.



Here's a menu shot of Doga. After unlocking access, Doga has new stuff to say.

Doga: There is a gateway in this cave that leads to another world. The key to Eureka is there.
Doga: Eureka is the name of the "forbidden land," the place where ancient weapons, too powerful to be used, were sealed away.

I'm both curious and excited to see how I'm going to tackle Eureka once I reach there. There's so much great stuff there, and also a ton of bosses I'll have to fight.






Guess what? We have to stay tiny for the entire dungeon. Luckily, there's no bosses here, and we have a trick up our sleeve.



Meet the Thief.




While as, say, a Fighter Stalin was too stubborn to run away from a dragon that easily outmatched him, Thief Stalin has access to Flee, a much better version of Run that fails much less often. In fact, I don't think it failed on me once. It lets me flee easily from Mage Flyers.




Mad Horses are trickier with Sleep and Charm, but this was the only hiccup from an otherwise awesome strategy.



The dungeon's short and there's no treasure. Nothing to talk about.








Doga: South of Saronia is a bay, at the bottom of which sleeps the Temple of Time... Noa's Lute can be found there.
Stalin: Noa's Lute?
Doga: A magical lute whose melody can reach even into the dream world. Use it to wake Une. She can get you the airship Invincible. I'll be going after the key to Eureka. You go find the Lute to wake Une!








Our reward for that trek was turning our airship into a submarine. Now there's a lot of places we can access.



First, though, we change back into a Viking. I just felt like showing off the Thief since this will probably be the last we see of him here.



We can run into Ice Flies, which cast Ice-2.



It ends poorly for us.






Now we can move underwater. We move much slower this way, so it's a good idea to go to where you go above, and then dive down.




For instance, we can reach this area now.






This area is a glorified magic shop.



All of these mages sell various levels of magic, most of which we've already seen in other towns.



This is new, though. There's a couple of spells that are way too high (Heal and Drain are L7 spells? Really?) and some that are good enough to justify being there.







And now the fun begins.

The first thing to know is that Undersea Cave is completely optional. I'm still going here.



Second thing to know is that the random encounters hit really hard.




Luckily, we're a fucking Viking, so we just pop on a Brave Shield and hide in the back row.




Sure, it takes fucking forever to go through a single random battle, but at least we'll survive. And hey, that's what frame skipping is for!



Another thing to be aware of is that these guys give a ton of experience, making this an excellent place to grind.



Here's the level we'll be starting at. Keep in mind I don't actively grind. I just fight every battle I run into.



You'll run into battles of 2-4 enemies usually. Luckily, every single enemy simply attacks you. Nothing actually casts magic, so back-row shield Viking can cheese the shit out of every encounter.




Oh, and it wouldn't be a dungeon without some great loot! This dungeon is definitely worth the trip, as there's some wonderful stuff here. There's a whole set of Diamond gear that serves as a great upgrade from our current stuff.



We also get a nice weapon upgrade in the Double Axe.





ALL THE TREASURE





The Cider is the best treasure.







Why yes, I did just show ten screenshots of just me getting treasure, half of it I can't even use.

Keep in mind that I'm cutting out maybe thirty minutes worth of random encounters. The encounter rate is high, and this dungeon's actually pretty damn small.



To the left are these four chests, which are special.



They each have a monster inside.



We cheese the dragon like we do every encounter.



The Aegis shield gives us more agility, which is wonderful.




Easy.



I go outside to save and lose some gear. I'm fucking scared of the bottom-right chest.





Fun Fact: This is my second run through the dungeon. The first run ended because of these.



We're actually going to use the Save command to build up power.




This. This right there is why I got stuck. The Eater will fucking summon more Eaters to come in. You can fight as many as six of the bastards. I got into a stalemate as a Viking, as they may spend their turns using Call even if they can't summon another. And if I kill one, the move suddenly works and they'll summon another in the same round. Sometimes I get lucky and manage to kill two before two more pop up. The only item spell I had was the Thor Hammer's Lit spell, which was completely horrible and rarely even worked, definitely not enough to actually beat these things. I had to reset because it got so bad.




Luckily I beat them up and manage to win this time. But hey, new hammer for my Viking!




Meet the Death Claw. They're the first enemy to have a wonderful gimmick we'll come to know and love.




They split. Non-lethal physical attacks will cause a splitting enemy to split. Fortunately, the new creature has the same HP as the old one.



Plus they have the same six-creature limit. So it's very slow going, but eventually I kill them all and get some new armor. No idea if the Reflect armor actually reflects spells (which Wall does, so it's in the game at least), but it's better armor.



Well, that sucked. Maybe next time we'll dive into some less annoying dungeons!



Oh yeah, and I gained eight whole levels just wandering around that dungeon. Suck it, challenge.