Part 14: In Which We Trivialize the End Game

It's time for the end game gauntlet! To even make it to Shilx Tower, we have to go through this kinda-short dungeon.



Stalin can't really one-shot as many encounters here, though two non-Shiva summons will do it for anything.




The Great Demon summons clones of naked ladies to throw spells at you.





Did you know Odin actually works pretty often? He's not reliable in his murder, but more often than not he'll wipe out enemy encounters.



Oh yeah, I die a lot even trying to make it through this dungeon.



Iron Claws hit hard, but go down to a simple Ifrit.



As do Bone Dragons.



This dungeon has the final tier of armor, the Crystal equipment. The shield gives +5 boosts to Strength, Agility, and Vitality.





Thanatos is a bitch thanks to that fucking Break spell. Two petrifications later, I have to change my strategy.



Time to cheese the fucking dungeon.





Weak means jack shit against a fucking Blood Spear.



Break still sucks, though.



Unfortunately, I didn't get to see what happens when I hit an undead enemy with the Blood Spear. After missing, I remembered it wouldn't be a good idea and switched to my Wind Spear.






I think the Break Sword inflicts gradual petrification or something. A Dragoon can't wield it, so it doesn't really matter what it does, does it?



Another king slain by Stalin.





The Protect Ring's +5 Vitality boost makes it as good as the Crystal Gauntlet, if not better. Normally you'd throw the thing onto a mage, but since Stalin's flying solo there's no reason not to use it. Also, the Holy spear is our strongest spear and thus makes Stalin even more awesome.




This is the last save point in the game. If we want to go back and restock, we have to do that dungeon again to reach the Invincible. Fortunately, I didn't have to bother with HiPotions thanks to my Blood Spear, so I should be ready to tackle the final dungeon.

Shall we?





I love how there's so many different dungeon themes in this game. Kinda makes you wish FF4 didn't reuse the same fucking cave theme over and over.




However, we're not actually doing this dungeon today. Instead we want to go to this room by the entrance.





This is the entrance to Eureka, which Doga said has some nice shit. We're going to want this stuff.









Welcome to the Forbidden Land Eureka. Enjoy the music.




Fuck horses.





There's a ton of treasure in the first two rooms, but we'll be skipping that for now.



So yeah, Sleipnirs can cast Toad and ruin your day. It took me several attempts to get by them, but luckily they disappear after a few floors.



I really have nothing to say about the rest of these enemies because they can't do shit against Stalin.



There's also a lot of Shurikens here, which by the way none of our classes can use.




There are five weapons here that are guarded by bosses. I hope you don't mind me skipping the boss music since they all die so fucking easily anyway.







After beating Hain 2.0, we gain the Full Moon, a boomerang weapon Thieves and M.Knights can make use of from the back row.




What







Masamune is the strongest dark blade and another weapon for the M.Knight. It boosts Agility and Vitality.



Ninjas are a pain because they take forever to kill.






Excalibur boosts Strength and is holy elemental.

Sorry, but there's really nothing to say about these bosses when I cheese them so easily.



Ignore the door I'm standing on. The last two weapons are here.








Ragnarok is the strongest weapon in the game, and boosts Strength, Agility, and Vitality by 5. Nice.









Now we're talking! We just unlocked the final two jobs, and god damn if they don't outclass every other job in the game! Well, besides a jumping Dragoon that is.

Ninjas can wield all weapons and armor. They can also toss Shurikens for big damage. They're also tied for highest HP growth in the game with BlackBelts and Vikings. There's no reason not to switch your fighters to Ninjas besides Dragoon abuse.

Sages are even more amazing, as they can cast every single spell in the game, including summons. And the summons do their good effects rather than the random shit of Callers. Did I mention Sages have a fucking huge amount of MP? There's a reason I have the other spells I've chosen.

FF3DS nerfs the jobs to make them less awesome for the sake of balance and gives you them at the Earth Crystal. Fuck balance, gaining Ninja and Sage is one of the best moments of the original becuase you just gained the two most powerful classes in the world and are now in the position to make the final dungeons your bitch. It's like the people behind the remake didn't know what made FF3 so fun.



The final room of Eureka has revivification and recovery springs, plus some sages.




One sells the optional summons for your second sage, while the other sells L8 magic. The problem with the L8 magic is that you have sages now, and Bahamut is leagues better than any fucking L8 spell. I guess Life2 has its uses, but there's really no reason to pick up any of these spells, so I don't.





This hidden guy sells Crystal equipment and Shurikens. There's a second set of Crystal equipment in the Shilx Tower, not to mention we have one guy anyway. There's nothing else to spend my money on though, so I stock up on Shurikens.

You may have noticed I had changed to a Ninja. Not for long.



I will play the rest of the game as a Sage. Why, you ask?




LOOK AT THAT MAGIC. Twenty fucking charges of Bahamut. Plus I have ten-something Elixirs so in the very rare occasion that I run out of magic, I instantly regain everything. As usual, Ramuh/Ifrit/Titan dominate the random encounters while I spam Bahamut on bosses. Except now I can use Cure magic instead of relying on HiPotions. Did you know Cure4 fully restores a single target's HP? And that I have 24 charges of that?

Plus I have the Elder staff, which enhances Wisdom and Spirit by 5 and boosts fire/ice/lit magic. Hell yes.




EAT A DICK NINJA




I go back and get the treasure I skipped over, but as it turns out the only thing I missed was a Ribbon, which I really could've used against those Toading asshole horses. Oh well.



Next time, I tackle Shilx Tower proper, where we'll finally meet Zande. You know, the villain of the game? I don't blame you if you're forgotten he exists.