Part 16: FUCK

Surprised it only took fourteen updates to get to the final area. Once again, I have to recommend the music for this area. It's pretty damn fitting considering.



This place isn't actually as big as it seems. In each of the four corners is another room, which after navigating we find a dark crystal guarded by a boss. Unfortunately, no new jobs to obtain here. We could go north and fight the final boss right now, but she'd still be immortal and we'd lose and I'd have to do the entire Shilx Tower/Comrade Cutscene/Zande Bullshit all over again, and fuck that.



Oh yeah, these guys are still alive.




Fortunately, these Bosses get initiative and wipe out the poor fuckers. Then I wipe them out with summons.



Southwest has a bunch of vertical corridors that lead to two horizontal corridors.




There's really nothing to say about these monsters. They go down to a couple of summons, they can't hurt Stalin much, and all they're really here for is to grind more levels so I can get Stalin's HP ever closer to 9999.




There are four chests in the Dark World, each of which contains a Ribbon, and each of which is guarded by a Zande Clone.




He's pretty much an inferior version of Zande, as you'd imagine. Not really worth the effort fighting, especially since we already got a Ribbon from Eureka, so I just ignore the other chests.






So after some careful navigation, I end up at the Dark Water Crystal.







Echidna can be rather nasty if you're not an overleveled Sage with insane magic defense.







Echidna has all sorts of nasty attacks, but nasty attacks barely phase Stalin. All it means is that occasionally he spends a turn casting Cure4 instead of Bahamut.







Everytime we beat a boss, a Dark Warrior pops up. Sure, why not?



But it can be destroyed with the hopes of the worlds of Light and Darkness. Go! I will fight alongside you!

Then he leaves and we go to take care of three more crystals.




The northwest corner specializes in secret passages. Joy.







Meet Kerberos.



He casts Thunder. That's it.



Stalin casts Bahamut. That's it.

Probably the most pathetic boss I've faced since Medusa.



Light and Darkness... If the two worlds are brought together, they will form a world of nothingness. The Light is losing its power, and Darkness is taking over. You are the ones who can stop it... no one else. But I will do my part as well. I will not let the world be destroyed!



Two down, two to go.



The northeast passage has a very lengthy spiral.




For once, the developers show some mercy and let you cheese it.







2-Head D is the scariest boss in this entire dungeon.




I make sure to cast Safe, as 2-Head D does nothing but attack. The problem?



The problem is that 2-Head D hits far harder than any other enemy in the game. I'm used to random encounters doing maybe 500 damage max with a lucky shot. This son of a bitch hits me fifteen times for over 3000 damage. I can't keep up with that.





He does more than half my total HP in that hit.



Unfortunately, I was below that. Fuck fuck fuck.

Remember how I said you'd have to redo Shilx Tower when you died?



Yep. Not using save states for this challenge. I do abuse the shit out of Turbo, though.








20-30 minutes later on Turbo, I'm back in the Dark World.



Let's try the lower-right path this time.



Oh yeah, I gotta kill these guys again.



This one you simply have to go around the wall.






Evil Eye is a tamer version of Echidna, in that instead of Drain or Break, it uses a pathetic Blaze/Blizzard attack that does negligable damage.




You know, when it's not using Meteo or Quake.



It can also heal itself, but it still ends up being a weaker version of Echidna's Drain, since it heals the same amount but doesn't hurt me.



It meets the same fate as the rest.





But with your power and ours, we may yet be able to stop it. Let us go and defeat the Cloud of Darkness!

Time to try 2-Head D again.





No way I'm going to do that as a Sage, though. I'm relying on the Crystal equipment and a Ninja's physical build to last against this boss.





Ninjas can use Shurikens as weapons in battle. They throw the Shuriken, using it up and dealing solid damage to the enemy. Shurikens are expensive, but they're kind of worth it.



With a shield equipped, Stalin manages to avoid the dragon's hits much more often, thus receiving less overall damage.




Though sometimes he still gets a nasty hit. But that's what Elixirs are for!

It's a slow fight, but I seem to have enough Elixirs to actually beat this guy.



And since I was playing on turbo, I skipped over Item and accidentally picked Run.





Fuck.







I'm not even going to bother with the other bosses this time. Straight to 2-Head D.



Don't fail me now, game-breaker!




Damage sucks, but at least he's avoiding a lot of the 2-Head D's attacks.



Nasty hit, but hey, the Blood Spear can soak up a ton of HP.



oh fuck



I fucking hate this boss.



At this point, Bellmaker suggested using Safe, which did jack shit for me as a Sage, or TurtleShells, which a Ninja could make good use of. Good plan, except I have to backtrack to the Invincible to access them through Big Chocobo. I also get a couple spells like Cure1 I forgot to get. No biggie.






At this point, I didn't even bother recording my journey up here. Though this run, unlike the second and third runs, I actually got all that fucking useless treasure instead of beelining here and only getting the Elder Staff. I also decide to do the other three bosses first to make sure I have as much EXP and HP as I can before fighting this dickhole.





Easy.



I take no chances. Since I'll be using TurtleShells the first several turns anyway, might as well go dual-shield.







Though I take some damage, I manage to get off all three of my TurtleShells.



2-Head D even missed the second two attacks! This is my best chance to take this bastard out.




Don't know if Haste actually helps Shuriken tosses, but it's not like I'll be using Ninja against the final boss, and I have a bunch of them, so why not?



Evasion is always helpful. I'd hate to imagine how this fight would have went if I decided to dual-wield Shurikens.




It once again becomes a battle of attrition. I make sure not to play on Turbo this time.




Once again, 2-Head D manages to get some lucky hits, but I had the Elixirs to mitigate damage.



FUCK YEAH SUCK IT YOU FUCKING BASTARD I JUST KICKED YOUR FUCKING ASS.





The world may still return to nothingness sometime...but there is still hope and love left in both your Light World and our Dark World. While it remains, it is too soon for the world to end. Go and destroy that which would destroy us--with the hopes of Light and Darkness!



And back to Sage. L69 is my final level, with my final HP amount being right above 7.5k. Not bad. I'm also incredibly rich, so rich that I have no excuse not to share my fortune with the people.




Next time, the final boss and the ending of Final Fantasy III.