Part 21
Chapter 19It's time to initiate plan "Talk Things Out Like Rational Adults!"
Hold your attack. We will observe their next move.
Doesn't look like talking things out worked.
Time for Plan B!
Plan B: BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM
The gang is joined by Ass and Butt's cousin Crap. He's pretty much what you'd expect from gaining a third generic monk.
You guessed it. This is yet another repeat scene, this time from when Cecil, Yang, and Edward tried to fight off a Baron invasion.
The problem here is that even Butt, the weakest of the monks, could solo the entire fleet we're going to encounter.
Retreat into the castle!
So it's pretty weird that we'll constantly be retreating when Yang can one-shot every enemy and even the generics could win with ease.
But hey, plot and all that.
This is the invading force. This is what we're retreating from.
You know what this game could've done better? Make this into an actual threat. Rather than copy and paste the exact same enemy formations from the first game, get some enemies that would give actual challenge. Force us to use Hi-Potions or something!
I mean, at least in the original there was some challenge. You only had three characters, one of which wasn't that effective a fighter. If you replaced these jokes with enemies that actually hit hard, or forced you to use creative tactics to win, you would feel some actual tension in this scene. It's really hard to be convinced that Baron's a threat when you can one-shot every single enemy.
Sometimes this game would rather spend more time literally recreating every single scene from the first game than to try to make the story in this game actually work. I mean, the threat in this game is supposed to be much more menacing. So why are we fighting the same useless crap? This would be a great time to throw in a new enemy type, just to amp up the "Shit Just Got Real" meter.
But that's too much effort.
Fear not! Sheila has been safely evacuated!
Holy crap! Yang's almost lost a whole 100 HP since this event started!
Haaah!
Once again, the threat of those menacing Domovois force the monks to retreat to the throne room.
To fight alongside you!
OH SHIT A GARGOYLE WHAT ARE WE GONNA Oh wait it's already dead.
Seriously. One move. One hit, and it's gone.
This is what's forcing Fabul to retreat.
What about you!?
I will stay here.
Father!
OH NO HOW WILL OUR BRAVE HEROES EVER SURVIVE THE SAVAGE SAHAGIN
Before we can see this mystery figure...
At this point, someone enters the crystal chamber.
In the original, this is where we run into Kain for the first time since the Mist Incident. We find out Kain's been brainwashed under Golbez's control, get our ass handed by him, and first meet Golbez, who takes both the Crystal and Rosa.
Obviously, those are big shoes to fill for a small character chapter, but they do need a menacing villain here. Cecil would be a great choice, as he could easily fulfill a similar role here as Kain in the original. It lets you know this isn't going to be easy as the defining character of the original is part of the bad guys. It could also be a character we haven't seen yet, or perhaps one we've already met, like Hooded Man or Man in Black.
Even someone as predictable as Mysterious Girl would work.
Or it could just be fucking Kain again.
Of course it's Kain.
What...?
Are you here to lend us a hand, then?
Here's the set-up...
...and the punch-line!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Oh, Kain and his radical sense of humor. I hope he gets off a couple of puns soon!
So we're fighting Kain with solo Ursula.
The problem with this fight is that Kain doubles you for a lot of turns. A Chakra means you can recover all that damage, but at the same time you won't be hurting him. Thus, it turns into a stalemate unless you're willing to gamble a bit and use some Hi-Potions.
Or rather, it would be an issue if Yang doesn't show up to save the day.
So this fight switches from "Hmm, maybe I should switch my tactics here" to "Yet another thing Yang punches to death."
Kain can't even land any jumps in.
This time, Kain goes down like a chump.
So Kain just shakes off getting knocked out, jumps over them, and just grabs the crystal anyway. What a dick.
Kain...how could you?
Really? I mean, really? After this game so blatantly copied a scene from the old game without so much as changing the enemies? Even having freaking Kain here out of nowhere?
That's a ballsy thing to say here.
Kain claims to not be brainwashed this time. Who knows at this point?
Bye, Kain!
Yang is as disgusted by all this as I am.
...
Please forgive me for letting it happen...
The flames of past wars flicker anew.
This isn't over!
Ursula...
Father...!
Where are you going, dear?
Wh-what!? That would be suicide!
I must see Cecil about this!
You're staying here.
This isn't just Fabul's problem. The entire world is at stake!
!
Please be careful, Ursula.
Sheila doesn't even bother to pretend that Ursula's staying.
This understandably pisses Yang off. I mean, we already know he's losing this one, but at least let him entertain the possibility that his daughter might actually listen to him for once.
I'm prepared for whatever happens!
My duke...please forgive the selfish deeds of your monarch.
Quite all right. I'm not too old to serve my kingdom yet.
We'll keep everything running while you're gone!
Thank you.
So now we're going to take a boat to Baron...
...and get our Crystal back.
Next time, Leviathan attacks our ship and eats Ursula. Yang washes up at Baron with amnesia and becomes a general until Ceodore beats the crap out of him. This leads to the two repeating "What!?" and "Huh?" to each other for thirty minutes. Bet you're glad you paid $37 for this!