Part 29

Chapter 26




Troia the Town has new weapons and armor. We upgrade Palom's stuff and get a Fire Arrow for Leonora. Though maybe I should've invested in the staff that casts Confuse instead... Oh well, too late now!

We can afford that Member's Writ, but I'm going to hold off on that for now. I'll probably cover that stuff in a bonus update. Since it's so expensive. Ugh.



Switching to Full Moon since we're relying on pure black magic here.



Anyway, we head north, where Black Chocobos suddenly appear, and hop on. There's no option for flying anywhere. Also, there's no turning back from here, so get your buying done before you take a ride.





Looks like we have company! Good thing we have a flying bird.




They found us! Hang on!



Are those idiots actually trying to hit us!? What are they thinking!?

Well, you guys do have the Earth Crystal and all. Even if you're a small target.

Of course, it's probably residual fire from Baron attacking Rydia and Luca, who were in the same area during this attack. Not that Palom notices them or anything.



Anyway, we get through unscathed.



...How are you guys planning to get back? What happens if they just don't come? How long are you planning to stay in the monster-infested cave?



Still, the Black Chocobo decides to take Leonora up on her offer to strand them in the middle of nowhere with no way back to the mainland.



Right!

So now it's time for everyone's favorite dungeon, the Lodestone Cavern.






Whoa-ho! That is a serious magnetic field!
Make sure that any metal items are unequipped from your body. Otherwise, you won't be able to move.
The soldiers are gonna have trouble with this, too, no doubt.
Yes, that's the plan.

I think this affects maybe one specific piece of equipment available in this Tale? Silver Armlets should be upgraded to Rune by this point anyway. It's mainly a story gimmick this time rather than a gameplay. Mages don't need metal.



What?
Look, things are getting serious here. This is nothing like your training before.
I'm ready for whatever comes my way! Besides, you're going to need my white magic!



Hah.

What was that?
No. Nothing.



Of course, the very first step I take and I run into my favorite enemy. Ugh.



You can't leave the dungeon, but it's not a problem since these healing pots are everywhere. They just popped up since the last game, I guess.

I'm not going to even bother showing off the enemies this time. They're really the same fucking beasts as every other end-Tale dungeon. You've seen the same ol' Cait Siths, Mindflayers, and Cave Bats in Ceodore's, Rydia's, and Yang's Tales.



Hey, Leonora actually learned a new Black Magic spell! Not a particularly good one, but progress!




Did you know when getting a Surprise Attack, Mindflayers start off using Mind Blast, which paralyzes and inflicts Sap?

This is just the first floor, and already the game hates me.



Good thing their Drain attacks are abysmal, so I'm able to run away.



Sweet, Palom learned Osmose. Now MP will never be an issue again!

At least, it wouldn't be if Osmose actually worked on half the enemies. People keep saying that all your MP woes are gone with this spell, but the spell doesn't even work on quite a few enemies. Combine that with a huge charge time, and it's almost not worth it.



It's weaker than the Sage's Miter Palom currently has, but the 5-point Intellect boost makes it worth equipping.



Namingway's doing his usual thing selling stuff in the middle of a dungeon. What a weirdo.




Ugh. High magic resistance and high magic power. I also learned that the Ricardo Mages can cast Slow.

I ran away from a few encounters like this one.




Did... Did I just find a good quality for these fucking bats? Osmose actually works on these things!



The Polymorph Rod turns enemies into Pigs as its effect. Pig already costs 1MP. Meh.

However, it gives four more Intellect points than the Flame Rod, so I'll take it!



Hey, what's this?

What the...
This is a deception put up by the Epopts.
So where's the real path?
This way!




That's right, they did this essentially to pad the dungeon out a bit more.



Thing is, they've only added this one room. Joy.



Leonora keeps sweeping up the White Magic spells.




hahaha OK that's kind of cool.



Sweet, more Intellect points!



Look at that. 50 Intellect at just L25.





I was so happy when I could KO even the Nagas in one hit with magic.

I really should've hit just one of the Ettin Snakes with a Blizzara. Breaking 2500 damage in this dungeon would've been fantastic.



Alright, we've made it to the end.







And of course the Baron soldiers have followed us.

Palom!
They must've taken off their equipment!

Wouldn't they be easier to kill, then? I thought that was the whole idea.

I mean, what the fuck did you expect them to do? "WELP, the duo with the Earth Crystal are in here, but I really don't want to remove my Iron Shield. Guess I'm going home!"

This isn't really a well thought-out plan.






What?
Think about it. How many soldiers are after us? We don't have infinite magic, you know. If they storm us with their superior numbers, we'll surely run out of energy sooner or later.
...

THEN WHY NOT HOLE UP IN THAT SAVE ROOM WITH THE HEALING POT!?

Seriously. What exactly was your plan past "Go hide in the Lodestone Cavern?" Right now, things are going exactly to plan. The soldiers are handicapped by the magnetic seal, you're close to a healing pot, and you've got a nice established choke point.

Why didn't you just fly the Black Chocobo to Fabul or some other nation near forests? Or go to Baron and sneak back to Mysidia through the Devil's Road? Why not get some help so that the Crystal wouldn't rely on just two mages who have to rely on MP?

This is a stupid plan.



Anyway, so we're fucked no matter what. I get the feeling this Tale won't end on a positive note.



Huh?
This is not like you at all!
And what could you possibly know about me!?
...





Oh what now.



The dark elf!

Yes. The Dark Elf again. Why not?

Why. Fucking. Not?

I simply lost my body in the previous battle. Nothing more. I am alive once again. The Crystal has resurrected me! That horrifying noise is gone... This time, I will finally acquire eternal life!





Ahaha, no.




Dark Elf is a complete and utter joke. Palom will be doing around 1000 damage to him a turn. Leonora should just stand around for the occasional heal after you slap Slow on him.



Dark Elf uses -ara spells and Tornado, which will knock you down to single-digit HP. A Cura will negate it.



After you shove six or so -ara spells up his ass, he'll transform into the Dark Dragon. Again.




Yeah, this is a scripted battle now.

After a few wasted turns...

Palom!
Magic doesn't work!?





Well. That was a freebie.



Where...where is my eternal life? Aaagh!



Good riddance.



Rydia's still in Agart. Guess again.





Well, look who it is.



Give me the Crystal.
...You aren't from Baron.
Didn't you hear me? Give me the Crystal.
What happened to Cecil?
I don't need to answer that. If you won't give it to me, I will take it by force.
We'll see about that.



But you fail to realize the gap between your power and mine.

The power of a Mary Sue is indeed quite scary. Its power can be as high as a writer's ego!




(Give me the Crystal and get out of here.)
(I-I can't...!)
(You're my student, right?)
(But...)
(Don't worry about me. I've got the perfect plan.)
(Really?)
(Yeah. Trust me.)




Leonora casts a Teleport spell to escape. Why Palom doesn't just follow with her so the two can try escaping... Well, I don't think either of them really has a good idea of what they're doing anymore.



That said, I rather like this part.



Yes.

As Palom gets a chance to act like a dick to the Mysterious Girl.



What do you mean?
I mean this.




You knew this was going to happen at some point. Still, if they had to reuse a scene from the old game, at least they did it differently with more style this time.



Palom...

This is mainly an excuse to save. As soon as you leave the room...



How smart. I'll just shatter your body and retrieve the Crystal.





Don't you touch Palom!
All we want is the Crystal.

...We?

I know that.



I thought this didn't work last time? I guess Tellah just sucked at it.



(How could you do that!? What if she shattered you to pieces?)
(She was bluffing!)
(You're the one who's bluffing here... You've always been that way.)
(What!?)











That's right. Leonora is none other than the random NPC girl Palom brags to in the ending of FF4!

That's almost as big a revelation as Biggs and Wedge being the two soldiers who questioned Cecil at the beginning of FF4! It's like they've had everything planned from the start!

You've been that way for as long as I've known you.



That's certainly an interesting way to interpret Palom acting like an asshole to everyone. He's actually being supportive by treating Leonora like shit!

I'm not really buying it this time.




...!?



Giving up your last chance to live? I find such a decision incomprehensible.
Maybe so.






(Listen to this. It's actually original, and it's pretty freaking awesome.)

Four Tales in, and we're finally doing battle with the Mysterious Girl. I gotta admit, the combination of Palom's Friendship Speech and the totally awesome music makes for a great scene.



This battle is a gimmick, however. Palom's spells do no damage, and the Mysterious Girl won't attack you.



However, we just learned a new band! Let's try it out!










Particle Bomb: Attack enemies with Particle Bomb.

Pretty great damage, though. Throw it a few more times...






Welp.



...



Seriously, great plan, guys.

















And thus concludes Palom's Tale.

Next time, the Challenge Dungeon! I hope this one doesn't have as much bullshit as the other ones?

...Who am I kidding.