Part 65

Chapter 52




As usual, let's start this update with another Small Tail.






Kaipo has Sylphs running around all crazy-like.





Hmph. Here we go!
Stop it! The Sylphs aren't the ones at fault here!



You'd think they'd change the dynamic up a bit from "EDGE WANTS TO KILL THINGS" -> "RYDIA DOESN'T TO KILL THINGS" -> "EDGE RELUCTANTLY AGREES BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BANG RYDIA"



My last chance to stock up on Spider Silk. I go to fucking town.



Oh yeah, it's cold in Kaipo. Not that it really matters.



(Once again, the world is facing a chaotic maelstrom of war and violence... Now, more than ever, I hope I may receive your loving protection... And I hope you are there for Edward, too, wherever he may be.)




Well, this must be awkward.



(Tellah... Anna... May you continue to grant me your loving protection!)

I just hope they're not still sore about the whole "Golbez killing Anna" thing.





Yang! Yang?
...
Times like these, it sure would be nice to have Rosa with us.
But all the Cure magic in the world means nothing is his consciousness is already gone.



This is Yang's daughter?
She looks so pale and gaunt. Something must be done...and fast.



So of course, we're going to hunt for more treasure instead. This place is southeast of Kaipo.





The Great Malboro is similar to regular Malboros except that he has huge magic defense and casts Doom. He's still pretty simple.



Really? Edge already has one of these.



There we go.





West of Fabul, we pick up another tail and the Faerie Rod, which gives a couple extra points of Intellect over the Recover Rod and can cast Confuse as an item. Once we get a legit White Mage again, it should be useful.



Also, fuck you.





So the game doesn't tell you, but common sense dictates that visiting Yang's home may prove fruitful.





Wait! I know them.
It's been a very long time.
Lady Rydia!
And Edge of Eblan!

The funny thing is that several times in Fabul, you'll run into "OMG IT'S RYDIA!!! Oh yeah, and Edge too." Which is funny in itself, except everyone completely ignores Luca and Golbez as if they don't even exist.

The situation concerning the moon has thrown the entire world into disarray. How fares Fabul?
I fear that the Sylphs have been laying siege to our castle.
What?
The moon must be affecting them in some unfathomable way.
Seems to be that way.




Don't mind if I do!



Rydia!
Ah, and Edge, too.
Are you doing well?
Yes, but I'm afraid Yang is in far worse shape...




But at least we know he's alive and well, Sheila.
Indeed! I would expect nothing less from Yang and Ursula!








This line slays me. Even with the limited information, you can tell Edge is disappointed that he didn't get another knife.

Mmm? What, you need another one? Sorry, but I'm all out of stock.




I forgot a tail in Damcyan, so I picked it up. I now have 19/21 tails.



Ur...sula...
Hope this does the trick.



These two items are all the way on the bottom of a huge pile of items. Joy.






What's not to love about this scene? Edge literally jumps into the air to smack Yang with the frying pan, then the game congratulates you on succesfully using the frying pan.

Seriously, as horrible as this game can be, it actually has a good sense of humor when it doesn't take itself seriously. If it was 50% less serious, I could forgive the lackluster story and grind-oriented gameplay. Hell, just a semi-parody of jRPGs in general and the original in particular would be neat. Stuff like Zeromus's Malice and Dark Kain would actually be good ideas for a much less serious game.





Errrf... Come on, Sheila, let me sleep a little longer...
Yang!
This is just ludicrous...



You two make quite a loving couple, don't you?
Ursula! Where's Ursula!?
Don't worry. She's right next to you.
Do not fret over me! You need to wake up Ursula!



That's four times in three lines. To be fair, this case is actually kind of understandable, considering the last time Yang was conscious, his daughter was kind of near-death. At least you can blame his repetition on panic for his daughter, something even a reserved man like Yang would lose his shit over.

Unlike a certain other Queen where 50% of her fucking dialogue is parroting various names.

Don't overexert yourself, Yang.
!
She's moving!






Sadly, Rydia didn't jump in the air this time.



Oh, Mother...is Father out training again?
Ursula!
Father...
A mother's love triumphs over all, doesn't it?



Apparently Luca still doesn't realize that the most powerful character in the FF4 universe is Yang's wife.




Yang... You were willing to risk your life for the sake of your child.
As much as it pains me to say it, you are a far stronger man than any of us.
You...
Thanks to you, we have finally returned to normal.



Thank you, my Sylphs!



At least we didn't have to beat the shit out of the Sylphs to regain them. We just had to beat the shit out of Yang instead.





Rydia...
Come on, Rydia. Those Eidolons mean much more to you than all that, don't they?
...They do. You're right.

They could've written that line a little better, as I have no idea what Edge is actually saying.



Yes.
Unfortunately, Baron Castle is protected by the same glow we saw covering the Tower of Babil.
We will find a way. If we can combine the Eidolons' powers with ours, anything is possible.
Let's get moving, then.
Father!



What?
You need to recover first. You've got a wife and daughter relying on you, remember.
Yes... You are right about that.

Hey, when did Edge become so responsible?

Alright, we've had enough decent plot for now. Let's delve back into the nonsense of Baron Theatre!





Ceodore!!!
Rosa!

Hey, did you remember Cid and Edward are there? Well, Cid and Edward are there. Also, shut up, Rosa.





So yeah, unequipping everyone in each tale before starting this one... Not a great idea. At least I can give everyone some weapons and shields.



Not that it actually matters, because all Cecil does is attack, and I have two people that can cast Blink.





Well, shit.




We've got everybody now. Just need to get two more Eidolons, and then we can hit Baron and watch Ceodore get his face carved to pieces by Odin!

Next time, we get the last two Eidolons.