Part 2: The Adventure Begins! Kind of. Eventually.

Chapter 1: The Adventure Begins! Kind of. Eventually.

The votes are in, and our characters are selected. There were a lot of good ideas, so you may see some amalgamations and tweaks.

At any rate, let's create our heroine and get started!











My name is Rezen. I was born... different.








I told you not to hang around after curfew, freak!

My mom said I had gifts. That I could help people. That one day, I'd be something—something special.






Get out of my inn, freak!

Then again, my mom said a lot of things.






Get out of my shop, freak!

Oh, you're one to talk!






Freak!

You're my twin sister, Ryzen!

Yeah, well, at least I'm not the freaky one.






There's nothing for me here. My family shuns me. The townspeople hate me. But maybe, just maybe, there's a place for me. Out there... somewhere...






Hmm. Why have I never noticed this door before?






They say it only appears once every hundred years. To the worthy, it wisks them away to other times and places.

Other places?

They also say it's stuffed full of horrible monsters and—hey, where are you going?

I'll tell you where I'm going! Paradise!






...Son of a bitch.



While Rezen bemoans her fate, let's take a quick look at the basic mechanics.





Here's the standard RPG menu, accessible by hitting Start. "Position" and "Maximum" will come into play later—not that it takes a genius to figure out. The rest more or less speak for themselves, though Abil(ity) also doubles as a way to access magic.

Notable here is the save option. You can save at any time in Final Fantasy Legend, which is one of the few freebies the game will give you. You only have one slot, though, so don't fuck up.





Here, we see Rezen's equipment and abilities. Since she's a mutant, the first four slots are reserved for any abilities she manifests. The last four are for items, spells, armor, etc. Note that her agility and magic are somewhat higher than the average. It's a piddly amount, but it's still neat. She also starts with a rapier, which is a fairly good weapon that (I think) is agility based. Also of note is her Stealth ability, which all female mutants start with. It gives her a bonus to initiative, which is really nice early on.





Obviously, it's a passive ability and you can't use it. But, if you could use it, you'd do it here!



Meanwhile...





Bars tender! Another!

Maybe you should be going.

HA! Trog never have enough! Trog live to drink and drink to fight!

This is a weapons shop. You've been demanding beer for the last 15 minutes. We don't have any! We only sell swords!

Swords? Swords? Pah! In olden time, men settle debts like men, with fists. Much drinking after. We laugh! HA! HA!

Oh my god will you just leave.





One more! Hello, friend!

Oh, uh, hi _{oh crap oh crap he saw me now what do I do}.

Owners not know value of Trog! I spit on their floor. Ptoo!

That's great to hear. Say...



Plenty of new people there. Why don't you go talk to them instead?

HA! Trog like you, funny puddle. Is good to be knowing you!

Yeah sure WELL LOOK AT THE TIME BYE



And, in another part of the city...





God dammit private you had best unfuck yourself immediately before my steel-toed diamond boots find a new home in your posterior!

Sir! Permission to speak freely, sir!

Oh stars and stripes, we got ourselves a speechwriter! What is it you want to burble out of your fat mouthhole now?

Well, it's just... I've been training with swords for almost three years now, sir. I'm not really getting it.

...

I mean, I understand how they work and all. You swing the sharp pointy bit at the opponent. But, I don't know, it seems unnecessarily risky.

Pvt. Elsom, just what in the fresh hell are you trying to intimate to me?

Look, wouldn't be better if we learned long range combat instead? Think of the advantages! No direct engagement, less troop turnover... I've even got an idea on how to make our bows more effective! See, if you make them smaller, and maybe make the arrows out of metal, and just get them out of the bow faster...

Oh I guess you're just a god damned mechanical genius now, aren't you? Look at the big fuckin' brain on you!

Hey! There's no need to be rude about—

You drop and give me 20 right now, maggot!

Sir yes sir



And in a cozy little nook near the back of town...





But why, Dente?

Because it's what I've always wanted. Ever since I was but a living body, it was all I dreamt of. The other zombies wanted brains. Brains! They couldn't possibly imagine what was out there. Sitting there, slurping down their food raw and unseasoned...

No, I understand that. But why go out there? It's dangerous! You could be unkilled!

Ah, but that's precisely why. The stronger the monster, the stronger the flavour.

But—

Ah ah, no buts. I've made up my mind. To truly master the culinary arts, I must sample all that there is in the world. Only then will I achieve true taste bud enlightenment. It is my destiny. I cannot turn away.

...alright. Alright, I understand. But promise me one thing?

Yes?

Promise me you'll come back.

Of course, dear. I always come home to you.



And back at the inn...





...but it's locked, and there isn't even a keyhole. I have no idea what to do now.

Mm. The tower's dangerous. You should do the responsible thing and quit.

I don't think you understand. There's nothing for me here. Nothing. I don't know why I'm even wasting my time, you couldn't possibly—

Climbing the tower would be an irresponsible act.

...what?

And if someone were to tell you, oh, I don't know, that the demon tortoise Gen-Bu has hidden...



...well, that would be completely reckless, wouldn't it?

Why, yes. Yes, it would. Alright, looks like I'm heading out into the wild. Thanks for your help.

Any time. And Rezen?

Yes?

It's good to have friends.

But I don't have any.

Then you can hire some.

...You're a friggin' genius, you know that?

I try.





Hiya!

Hello, and welcome to the Adventurer's Guild. ... Oh, it's you.

Still mad about last Christmas, huh?

I told you never to mention that again!

It'll heal. Anyway, I need some big dumb meatheads to get punched instead of me. Whaddya got?







...oh, I've got a few people in mind.



Later that day...





Ugh. Hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait. At least one of them's on time...

Ma'am! Private "Elly" Elsom reporting for duty!

Er, at ease, or whatever. I'm Rezen. You're army?

Tower guard, ma'am. 3rd infantry division.

You don't have to call me ma'am all the time. I'm just a civilian. How'd you get this job? Did your C.O. volunteer you for it?

...



THAT'S IT YOU OVERFILLED SACK OF SHIT, YOU'RE ON ADVENTURING DUTY, EITHER IT'LL MAKE A SOLDIER OUT OF YOU OR YOU WILL BE DEAD AND NO LONGER A WASTE OF THE TAXPAYER'S MONEY



...words to that effect, yes. Hey, there's another one. I think he's with us.

Greetings, female persons! Fear is gone, Trog is here to protect you!

Oh, this is going to be fantastic.

Trog shares your excitement!

Only one left, then. I'm not sure what's keeping him. It's not like he's a shuffling, moaning, undead beast.

Salutations.

Monster! Trog smash!

Please, no need for that. My name is Dente. I'm here for—

You do not steal Trog's soul! Is too handsome to be zombie!

*sigh* Is he always like this?

Dunno, just met him. Okay, that's everybody. Let's go get equipped!



So, some new things open up now that we have a party! Let's hit Select and take a look.







Here's the arrangement screen. You can put your guys in any order you like. I'm not sure if shuffling them to the back actually keeps them from being targeted, but it's standard RPG procedure, and I don't want to get a ticket for not doing it. You'll notice Dente has less HP than everyone, which is the unfortunate part about monsters: they're usually not very sturdy. Not pictured is Dente's imperviousness to paralyze and weakness to fire. Also not pictured is that, due to the adventurer's guild roster being different than starting choices, he's actually a skeleton.

You'll notice the little hearts next to your guys. This is another way the game ups the ante. When your guys run out of HP, they keel over as per usual and need a trip to the House of Life, which I assume is directly across the street from the House of Pain. However, a party member can only get KO'd three times before they're dead for good. As in, "deleted from the roster and game, go get another one from the guild" dead. Between this and limited use weapons, FFL is not fucking around. The good news is, you can purchase more hearts if your guys are in trouble. The bad news is, well...







...yeah.

Anyway, the gear at these shops is bog standard, and you'd have to be pretty inept to back your guys into a corner right now. As far as I can tell, there's strength-type weapons and agility-type weapons. Two guesses which ones long swords and axes are, but rapiers are actually agility based. Elly and Rezen have rapiers. Trog comes equipped with a hammer because of course he does. There's also armor and magic available...









...but as you can see, it'll be a while before we can buy them.



So, uh... who wants to pony up for equipment?

I thought you were leading this expedition?

...Elly?

I blew last week's pay on booze. I thought we'd, y'know, get free gear.

Tro—you know what, I'm not even going to waste my time.

Trog like axe! Is better than hammer, but not as good as fist!

Great. Well, everyone try not to crumple like a piece of paper out there.

No promises, ma'am.







So, here we are outside town! You'll note the cool little tower. We'd like to get in there at some point, but we need a key. Also note that the party has put Trog in front for travelling, just in case.







It's a good thing, too, because just over the bridge...







Hello, new friend!

Really? You call me a monster but count the club-wielding giant as an ally?

... monster! Trog smash!

Unhand me this instant, Neanderthal!




_{(Yes I know about the stamp, I'm not replaying for a single screenshot)}



Ha! Trog's chest like steel! Monster nail does not penetrate! Also Trog cannot feel lower rib.

Hey, whose rib is this?

T'would go excellent with a dry rub, I'd wager.








Heh heh. Bone.

Heh.



A few hits later, and...







Victory! Woo 40 gold.

A little further down the way...







Look! Is village Trog's friends spoke of!

Huh. You live in an area all your life, and you never hear about little things like this. It's kind of funny how getting out expands your horizons.







And also gets you eaten by a giant lizard.

Step back, ma'am, we'll handle this.

That's not necessary...







...and don't call me ma'am.





Rezen is dishing out 18 damage a swing. For comparison's sake, our next-hardest hitter is Elly at SIX. It's only going to get better as she trains with agility weapons. I assume it'll eventually level off, but until then, !

Anyway, something neat happens afterwards:







Wait. Do you smell that?

Is not Trog.

No, that scent... that aroma... could it be? Could this be the taste I seek?







Yes! Oh, heavenly sustenance! How did I not know you were just outside my door? The texture of the scales! The sweetness of the flesh!

Okay, this is just getting weird.







What other wonders lie in wait? I must know! I must try them all!

Wasn't... wasn't he a zombie just a few seconds ago?

Wasn't who what now?

Well, whatever.

New monster! Smash!





This is our first monster change! Let's take a look at Dente's new loadout.







Agility, strength, and defense are all admirable, though HP still sucks. Beak is a fine attack at this point in the game. Being a flyer, he also gets immunity to quake. This will not be a problem right now, but at least the game's logically consistent.

As part of a requested challenge for this LP, Dente will eat any piece of meat he comes across. Naturally, this means he'll be shifting forms too rapidly to show off all their stats and abilities. The particularly interesting ones will get a brief mention.







Well, here we are. So far, so good.

A quaint and sleepy little villa. Perhaps you can find peace here.

Freak!

I somehow doubt it.



Next Time: The Original Kings of Weaponry!