Final Fantasy Tactics Advance Part #33 - We're no bounty hunters, but what the hell...

Part 33: We're no bounty hunters, but what the hell...

Now, why should I help you when you seem opposed to destroying the world for some reason?

Convincing argument, there.

Ramza has about 4 chunks of Materite sitting in his pockets. They can't be used for making Mewt's gift for some reason.

I don't know what this is about.

Clan Ritz has two new members! They're both incompetent.

The bladebiter is leagues above Clan Ritz in strength.

Eldena hates toughskins, adamantoises, bladebiters, Urutan eaters, Thalassinons, Aspidochelons, rocktoises, gil snappers, elmeralditans, silicon tortoises, great tortoises, and all other shelled things of any descript.

I saw its stats, so you can hush!

Only one of us has a doublecasting lunatic who despises the very concept of shelled animals.

I really don't want to try, though.

Mateus breaks the world. How... appropriate?

Either way it obliterates the other two monsters and deals a lot of damage to the Blade Biter.

Clan Ritz is helping!

Eldena doublecasts Ifrit and that's that.

All your clan did was faff about before Eldena wiped it off the face of the planet.

I wonder if Ramza is aware that he's already fighting Mewt, in a sense? The entire palace wants him dead.

The Cactus Stick has the highest WAtk of all maces. If you really want to use Ultima Blow that bad...

As far as I can gather from all these missions, amnesia is a few paces above the common cold in terms of common illnesses in Ivalice.

They offer a nice flower for the work. Huh.

...You're suffering from stage fright, and you already have a tranquil box?

And you want something from a dead dog's grave? Ivalice is weird.

I have no idea what a rat's tail has to do with love, unless it's rat love, but that race isn't in FFTA.

Bloody capes, yeah, that's understandable.

The Power Staff has the highest WAtk of all staves. That's not good.

"Help me bake bread! Here's some gigantic lightning claws!"

"Help me throw a party! Here's a big sword!"

They want me to fix a sluice. Okay. Reasonable. But why are they offering me stolen gil? How is it in addition to regular gil? Are they laundering money through clan Beoulve?

"I'll ssay it once. Either you fall in love with thiss sservant boy, or I sstab you with this sspear. Alsso, I'll take that rat tail off your handss."

This shield has 15 evasion. I think that's the highest in the game. The Sacri Shield still carries an inordinate amount of status resistances, though, and the elemental shields do work wonders...

Some of these missions are fucking weird.

Wait what?!

DEPLOY LINI! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Oh hey, that dumb mission is done.

That's a lot of work for a hat. Either way, if I do this then I've used both Black Threads so I won't have to worry any more forever.

Jagds have some pretty vicious clans.

Yeah, that's a Master Tonberry.

I think I'm completely justified in this.

Awesome! The Bangaa Spike is the second strongest spear in the game.

I also hire this chick to do more dispatches.

Like, this one now that I've got the alloy and the rat's tail.

In the meantime, I win a rematch with the Bloodthirsters and their Master Tonberry.

Can't capture lone monsters. Pity.

The Adamant Armor has really high defense, but pitiful resistance.

This would finally get me the other part of Darn Kids! but this mission requires a Skull.

A Skull.

I would say we're criminals now, but everyone but Ramza has had several jail visits already.

Offer Ramza a large knife, and he does police work for you.

I don't think FFTA has many escort missions, but this is the big one. It's famous.

It's a Tonberry!

"After all, I only inflict two stab wounds at most!"

Tonberries move only two panels, but they're horrifyingly fast and their attacks are assorted kill moves. Master Tonberries have more kill spells.

That move of two proves to be their undoing.

Tonberries were to show up in FFXII, but they just couldn't work with the free-roaming battles without undermining what a Tonberry is.

So yeah, escort mission.

Here's the person being escorted.

Here's a dragon that's right next to her.

She's too dumb to do this.

Their are two solutions to the predicament:

1) Burtalize the enemies before they can even breathe.
2) Wait until you can get a Dmg2:Viera card.

I go with brutalizing.

And that's that and we never hear from the two again.

The Trichord boosts Wind and Water damage.

Thane is some kind of memory miracle worker. This is twice in the same chapter.

Let's get involved in a conflict that would otherwise have nothing to do with us!

"Yes, us, the guys they hired. The guys they gave money to so they wouldn't have to fight."

I really don't want to try so Totemas.

It works.

Very well.

I don't think this quest goes anywhere either.

"Vicariously, through the guys they hired!"

"I doodled some faces on the dolls and they gave me this cape."

For that, Cheney goes to the gladiatorial pits.

I'm throwing away Materite to make room. How ironic.

This message mostly pops up when you send someone to do a mission for which they don't have the stats, yet succeed anyway. It boosts the AP and gil received.

Cheney makes a pretty good pit fighter. I guess it's his experience in shooting things in the face.

This is what I do with my gil.

Two Curealls means another stat point. That means, from 200 points base in each stat and 350 for each Cureall, it would take 559,300 gil worth to max stats.

I don't know why they're called Curealls in this game, I guess it's because of Remedi's name.

Bah, story missions. I guess I'll get this out of the way.

What work, Ramza? I really want to know.

"I made a gun that kills the person who killed my brother, kupo!"
"That sounds nea-"

Then suddenly rabbit girls.

I don't even remember what my Mysidian Alloy made. That's the only use for Materite I found.

I can't even sell the chunks Ramza already has.

You are the worst cereal mascot.

There's some nice stuff in this fight.

It's everywhere.

Everyone has something to steal.

Though some of it I'd be surprised if you didn't have by now.

There's a fixed Cheer Staff and Nike Bow here, if the RNG has been unkind.

Ramza carries cards that make stealing legal. That's really suspicious but comically no one can arrest him for it.

Ramza spends time as a Ninja sometimes. Two Masamunes ensures that he's a scary ninja.

Using Exodus and Ultima purely to make the enemy less annoying while I steal all their stuff has become a hobby of mine.

The Summoner escapes with barely enough MP to use an Ifrit.

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"Some of my comrades are dying! I should hit this guy with a stick."

Oh, by the way, doublecasting Sleep with Concentrate is wacky.

Ramza steals the last thing I want. Gorgeously refined, bitches.

Then Carson jabs away at the last Viera.

I wish it was that easy to get my cat to show up.

Unfortunately...

Doned stole the materite!

A bucket of Mysidian alloy might replace some of the weapons I've stolen from palace staff.

Doned, you are such a dweeb.

I've got a bucket of Murasames, if you want one. Just millions of the damn things. They coat my warehouse with dew.

"That is my materite. You are a kid. It doesn't even fit."

Then Doned breaks it.

"I've had it up to HERE!" *gestures towards eyebrows*

Ramza has no problems discussing his plans for world destruction aloud in the middle of a crowded pub, so no wonder Doned's picked up on them.

"Even my wheelchair-bound brother who is now walking around is against me, the man of no empathy?"

Ramza can't understand things on a symbolic level. See, Doned having working legs is symbolic of him having a new freedom to meet people and do whatever he wants.

The symbolism falls flat because this is the last time Doned uses it. After this, his dialogue seems to suggest that running itself is the wonderful thing that keeps him attached. Besides, Ritz's reason is "having red hair." Not exactly moving.