Part 8: Bartz vs. An Elephant

Status update. Reina and Faris are close to learning some new abilities, and the gang's about to hit L10.



We've done all the side stuff worth doing, so let's continue the plot and go to Walz, which is Worus in the RPGe translation and Walse in the GBA. It's weird no matter the version.







Walz is a pretty neat-looking castle of water. Not as fancy as FF4's Troia, but it still has its charm.



And it also has its fair share of treasure, but I'll be getting to that later.



For now, we've got a meeting with the king.



King Walz! How well you look.

..."How well you look?" That's kind of awkward wording there.



My dear, that's something I cannot do. The crystal makes our entire way of life possible.

The other translations clarify that it makes their nation prosperous, though this version seems to imply more from various NPCs that it keeps the monsters away. I actually like that explanation more, as it makes things slightly more complicated plus steers away from the whole "nature vs modern society" crap that gets overdone in these kinds of games.



Hmm... I heard about the Wind Crystal but... The Water Crystal may not react in the same way... Furthermore, I am certain the people would object.

Which is completely reasonable. Of course, as the player, we want the crystals to shatter, as it means more delicious jobs. So we're actually rooting for their world to be ruined so we can have more fun. It's weird.





Because it's TIME TO PARTY.

What?!







The meteor falls to the north of Walz, near a distinct tower that we'll no doubt be visiting soon enough.





What?!



You'll pardon me Princess Reina, but an emergency has arisen. We'll speak again later.



Gotta love a king who takes initiative. Of course, Tycoon was the go-getting type, and...

...Uh-oh.





In the meantime, let's wander the castle!



Hahahaha...



We'll go into that later. There's a lot of stuff to get, but it's kind of a pain to get right now.



I wonder if we'll be going there eventually...







There's some schmucks down here that you can release, but it just robs you of a few chests later on. Let these twits do their time, I say.

Also what the fuck is a werewolf doing here



I like this guy.



Ahahahaha NOT TODAY.



Instead of cleaning out the palace, we'll go clean out the town instead.



FUCK.

At least it bumps everyone but Galuf to L10!





Here we go.





All the NPCs in town talk about how awesome it is to not be constantly mauled to death by monsters thanks to the crystal's power.

Or maybe they just don't come around because you guys taste horrible. Who the hell knows.



so don't pick on her.

You can actually fight this thing on the beach, but it doesn't really fight back, and I believe it'll run away on its own. It's a docile animal, weird-as-shit creature that it may be.



What the fuck kind of person buys a house that requires you to swim past your front porch. How the hell is this a good place for a house?



So fuck this guy, I'm stealing his glasses to spite him. They look better on Reina anyway.



Not really, based on how horrible they are in every other FF game.

I hate these people. Let's go to the main draw of every town: SHOPPING!



New spells that we can't use! You may have a guess on the latter set of spells, but I'll go into each set later.



There's new armor, though it's not really worth buying since we'll find better stuff soon enough anyway. Nothing new for the mages, either, and they're the ones that need the damn armor.



Only new weapon is the Battle Ax, which nobody can use.

So yeah, even the shops suck. Well, the magic is alright if we ever get to the point where we can use it.



Our next destination is this dog statue. There's nobody in the meteor.





Oh geez, they didn't even waste any time getting themselves killed.



Oh, you mean the docile monster has suddenly become aggressive? Whatever, it's something else to kill, right?



Looks like it's trying to destroy the crystal.



It's really hard to tell, but these are actually stepladders that let us into the water.



This is important because you can use the vine to climb up to this room, where you get a Silk Robe. Half the time I can never find my way up here despite having done this before. Either way, a nice upgrade for front-row Galuf.



IceSoldiers are self-explanatory, and while RicardMage is a weird name, at least it's a consistent weird name in other versions. On the other hand...PaddleThru?

Anyway, the...PaddleThru...is nothing but a bucket of HP, while the IceSoldier is pretty weak.





The RicardMage is the real annoyance with a wide array of annoying status effects to ruin my day.



There's also Elf Toads, though they aren't anything special.





Reina's L3 Knight command is 2-handed, which lets her sacrifice a shield to do more damage with her weapon. Considering how beefy a Knight is, it's not a bad ability for her, though usually you have better options later on.





Overall, it's a tower, which means small rooms with a few gimmicks here and there.



One last chance to heal, and we reach the Water Crystal.





Something's controlling it! I'm not going to let you break that crystal!!



So much for that guard, huh? Doesn't look like the other Walz guards. Oh well.



In the meantime, let's beat up an elephant!





This is Garula. As you can tell, he can pack a punch. Garula can be tough if you're not prepared, as he can do a ton of damage and has a nice chunk of HP.



Fortunately, Garula's not the only one that can do a lot of damage. I slapped 2-handed onto Reina, and now she's doing big damage herself.



Bartz's strategy is to put Protes on everyone, as it really cuts down on Garula's damage.





Fuck yeah, Galuf!





Eventually, after losing enough HP, Garula will start countering and attacking twice, sometimes with the Sap-inflicting Charge. As you can see, he's quickly worn me down.







Fortunately, I have the Healing Staff. When you "attack" someone with it, it's like casting Cure2 on the person. Much more effective than Cure is.



I switch to a defensive strategy, having Reina Guard until Bartz can put Protes on her. Then she attacks while Bartz heals. Garula can only do 20 damage an attack to either one, while Reina's doing over 150 a hit.



Needless to say, the fight stops being challenging at that point.





The crystal!



HOORAY, NEW JOBS!

Uh, I mean, shit! Not the crystal!



What perfect timing, too!





Hey, looks like our nameless friend is fine after all!





Ahahaha, of course not. He doesn't even have a name.



You KNOW me?
Lord Galuf...forgive me...couldn't save...crystal...
Tell me! Who am I?!
Must...save...Fire Crystal...







The crystals, they're glowing!
Maybe we'll receive their power?

Yep, it's time to get ourselves some new jobs!



Not from him, unfortunately.



Time Mage
Berserker
Red Mage
Summoner
Sorcerer

Only five jobs this time, and a couple are kinda lackluster. Still, a couple of winners here.







And the whole island starts shaking. Trust me on this, as screen-shaking stuff tends to inflate the hell out of GIF size.



HEY WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE

Dick move, game. Not only making a crystal piece inaccessible, but literally bringing you back from the overworld to you staring at it. The game literally taunts you that you're missing out on this super-awesome job just because it feels like it.

Anyway, let's leave until we drown.



...Well, too late for that, I guess.



Bartz literally growls in the RPGe version. "Grrrrrrrrr!!"



Hydra!



Hydra! Ye're alive!!







Out of nowhere, Hydra rescues us by swallowing us whole.

...Man, this is the second plot point taken from FF4 this update.

-----



And so the disembodied head of Syldra arrives to the shore and vomits us out.









Hydra! Ye can't die!!



And so Hydra returns to her home planet.

I'm sorry, but this scene's kinda awkward between Hydra's random disappearance and more random death, topped by their decision to only ever show her head, leading to weird situations like the above. Just look at it.



Hy...dra...



And with that, Hydra releases one long death cry.



So yeah, it's been a horrible day for the team. Fortunately, it's a great day for us, as now we have new jobs to play with! Let's go through them before we do voting.



Ah, Berserker. If there's such thing as a "bad" class in this game, it's Berserker. These guys are always berserk, except they don't get the strength boost that the actual Berserk status gives. They also only really get axes, which themselves are inaccurate and have a high damage range. That said, they're still pretty damn powerful, and they're surprisingly more helpful than you'd expect. Still, why the hell would you ever use one besides for the challenge?

Vigor +21, Speed -9, Stamina +25, Magic -23



On the other end of the spectrum is Sorcerer, probably better known as a Mystic Knight. These guys can cast magic on their weapon to put that spell effect on their weapon. There's the obvious stuff, like Fire Sword dealing more damage to enemies weak against Fire, but there's also status effects and stuff like Drain Sword. There's a lot of uses, and most of them are pretty damn useful. A great class if you like adaptability with your power.

Vigor +14, Speed +14, Stamina +14, Magic +1



FF5 adds a whole new class of magic, though it's mostly magic that comes from the other two schools in previous games. As you may have guessed, Time Magic involves stuff like Slow, Haste, and Stop, though really it involves a lot of other status effect-type spells as well. They even get a couple of unique attack spells. They can actually be pretty handy with all sorts of neat spells to mess around with, even if a couple of spells make no god damn sense whatsoever.

Vigor -5, Speed +2, Stamina -3, Magic +24



Summoners summon. You know how it goes. Note that they only get five spell levels instead of six like the other non-Blue mages, and you have to actually find most of their summons yourself instead of buying most of them. Of course, the reward is having powerful attacks that affect the entire battlefield, usually ravaging your opponents but sometimes helping your party as well. They also have the highest Magic in the game, all the more reason to use them.

Vigor -10, Speed -1, Stamina -1, Magic +33



Red Mages have decent equipment options and can use both Black and White Magic, albeit only to L3, which we're already close to. Red Mages don't really make much sense in this game, where we can already have a White Magic-casting Knight and all. To make up for being kinda useless, it gets one of the most powerful abilities in the game, Dualcast (or whatever it's called in this version). Of course, enjoy grinding a ton of AP for it, as the damn thing costs 999AP after getting every other ability.

Vigor +8, Speed +5, Stamina -6, Magic +8