Final Fantasy V Part #9 - Reina vs. Rage Issues

Part 9: Reina vs. Rage Issues

Before we begin, I would like to make a formal apology. You see, I failed to mention one of the enemies in the Walz Tower. Normally, that wouldn't be a big deal, except this is probably the most infamous translation in this version, and it wouldn't really be a proper LP of this version without showing it off.

So here we go...

In case you wanted perspective into just how little they gave a shit about translating this game, here's what they decided to translate the classic "Wyvern" enemy into. This is "Soccer" taken to its logical extreme. They really didn't give a shit about accuracy or any of that. Even with time restraints and what-not, how in the everliving fuck does shit like "Y Burn" happen?

Good thing it was around this time that Square started dedicating actual resources to its translations rather than throwing some poor schmuck at it and say, "You've got a month to translate this game with no context, you fucking asshole." Jeez.

Alright, let's resume.

The problem is that we need these guys alive to change jobs. Well, Galuf's not changing anything, but still.

OH GOD DAMMIT

I end up visiting this inn several times this update. At least it's only 20GP.

Even though this is the only part of the game where a Red Mage is still viable, I go with Summoner because it's still much more useful than a Red Mage. For me, Red Mage is useful purely for Dualcast, and I'll probably just grind that off-screen, other than using it for a dungeon or so. Besides, I'd rather switch between White Mage and Summoner since both skill sets are highly useful throughout the entire game.

As a bonus, since Bartz can only equip rods and daggers, he gets to make use of that Ice Rod.

I'm excited as hell to try out a 2-handed Berserker, as Berserkers can wreck some shit. The only thing I'd be more excited about is a Berserker wtih Equip Sword, but there's no highly useful swords yet and I still need more levels as a Knight to pull that off.

Honestly, there's really no reason for me to stick with Berserker anyway, as Knight/Sorcerer is an awesome combo between the Sorcerer's sword magic and the Knight's awesome weaponry late-game. Might as well show it off now while it's still vaguely useful.

I end up buying the Battle Ax, since it's either that or a Dirk. Axes are a bit inaccurate and have a high range of random damage, which is part of why Berserkers suck so god damn much. Axes flat-out suck until the late game ones.

You may notice that, despite giving Reina 2-handed, she still has a Shield equipped. That's because Optimum ignores that ability and gives you a Shield anyway. I fail to notice this until the end of the update, so Reina actually doesn't benefit at all from her ability. This fucking game.

Anyway, since Faris is already close to another job level, I decide to do a battle or two to get it before switching her to Time Mage.

Here's Summoner in action with Chocobo. Not too shabby.

Dash? What a waste.

None of the Thief abilities are really useful (right now at least) so I stick with Learning, even though I'll be switching to something else for the next little bit.

Time Mages get to use both Rods and Staves, which is handy as hell since Faris can be a back-up healer with the Healing Staff.

Right, let's get some new text.

west. But without a ship, I wonder how he got here?

Fuck you, too.

Alright, now let's get some updates from the castle and get those goodies I held off on.

babbling about a warp or something...

But there's only one soldier...

"Soldier are resting." Guess FF7 isn't the only one with that little gaffe!

So much nonsense already. Let's go to the king.

King Walz! Are you all right?

Hurry to Karnak. They also use a machine to amplify their crystal's power. A meteorite also fell there... Hurry...before it's too late...cough... hack...

And that's all he has to say.

suddenly warped... Where are we? Where's the castle?

Wait, now there's multiple soldiers? Where the hell are the rest of them?

The reason I held off before is because I didn't want to run away, since it affects a future item. Then I remembered I probably already ran away from stuff, so what the hell.

This basement is haunted by the Harpy, or Jackanapes in other versions. I don't know why this castle have this fucking beast dwelling in its basement.

It's a fucking pain to deal with, as it hits very hard and can dodge most attacks, plus it's immune to almost everything. The strategy is to run away, which is why I gave to Flee to Faris just for this room. Look how well that worked out for me, eh?

Still, I manage to run away and not get wiped. Let's see what's worth it, huh?

Weird-ass spell that I think increases the ATB speed of battles or something. Time Magic has a lot of weird random shit like that. The other two pots have 1000GP each, decent but meh.

This thing, on the other hand, is the true prize.

It increases the evasion of the person wearing it. Since Galuf's a front-row mage, he gets the most benefit from it. It definitely helps save his ass a few times. Worth the trip.

There's one other thing to check out behind this waterfall.

This is a mini-dungeon, complete with Walz Tower enemies.

At the end is Shiva, who wants to battle you.

This fight is tough if you don't have Fire2 yet, like me. The IceComandrs have pretty potent physical attacks, while Shiva constantly spams Ice2, which hurts.

Here's Faris's current spell line-up. Regen's nice for long slogs, though I'd much rather deal with Slow and Haste. Mute...doesn't do what you'd expect it to do. It's another one of those insanely weird spells that does random shit you'd never use. All the weird experimental spells ended up getting dumped on Time Mage.

What we really want are Haste and Slow.

Shiva's attack pattern are to alternate Ice2 between the front and back rows. After either one of her soldiers die or when everyone in a row is dead, she starts alternating single-targeting and targeting multiple people. A single-target will pretty much kill my mages.

I didn't want to test to see if Slow would work, so I opt for Hasting instead.

This is the damage Reina's doing without 2-handed. Granted, she could also be doing double-digit damage since axes are random as fuck.

To make a long story short, my decision to have Galuf go physical and prioritizing Haste over Slow bites me in the ass.

At least it gives me an excuse to cast Remora, which...freezes an enemy or something? It's not very useful, unless it is.

So yeah, let's try that again, this time with Faris wielding the Healing Staff.

This time, Galuf's in the back row ready to spam Fire. If I were smart, I'd have switched Reina to Sorcerer to make things even easier. Didn't even think about that until just right now. Dammit.

Yeah, I guess with a weakness magic would do as much as Galuf's fists non-critical. He does get to stay in the back row, though, so that's worth it.

I also start spamming Protes so the IceComandrs don't hit me so hard.

Eventually I finally kill one of them, which helps a bit.

I leave Reina dead for now, focusing on Bartz Protecting everyone, Faris alternating between Hasting and Healing, and Galuf plinking away at the commanders with Fire spells.

Cure can't keep up with that damage, though, so things get a bit dicey at times.

Then I decide to see if Slow works, and...I think it does? Slowing one enemy is more useful than Haste on one person, but at least you know Haste always works. Then again, I don't remember if Slow works on everything like it did in FF4.

Eventually, the Commanders are down, at which point I revive Reina and start healing up.

I decide to see if Sylph will give me a healing advantage over Cure. Turns out it heals the same as Cure while doing damage comparable to one of Galuf or Reina's attacks. Combined, it's pretty decent, but it's also rather expensive to cast, leaving Bartz rather low on MP.

Eventually, I beat Shiva despite the slog. Again, Sorcerer and Fire2 would've made this a joke, but then it wouldn't have been an interesting a boss battle. Or something.

Extra Ice Rod for Faris!

And now the Ice Rod-wielding Bartz can cast Shiva, which is awesome.

Right, we're done with Walz now. Our next destination is that meteor everyone's been talking about.

Bartz!

Must've warped somewhere!

I think I've been here before... And that soldier in the tower remembered me...

And so the party just walks into the warp without even really thinking about it.

And we end up... pretty much the same place we were before.

Except over here instead. We're in a new area we couldn't have reached before due to all those mountains locking the Dragon in. We've got a decent march ahead of us, and since Four Valiant Hearts is probably the worst overworld music in the series, let's go to some battles instead.

A five-pack of Wild Dogs are common, in fact I think they're the only encounter in forests. They also give decent AP and are probably the first group where you may want to grind for AP.

Shiva makes short work of these guys because Shiva's awesome.

Faris got L1 Time. I'll probably grind her to L3 Time Magic and then switch her back to Blue Mage.

Next up are Landworts and Zuus. Zuus are still huge blobs of HP, though they don't attack twice like in FF4.

Aaaand it was here that I finally realized that Reina had a shield equipped this whole time.

Unfortunately, I don't really get to show off her damage boost this update, but I'll be showing it off before I end up ditching Berserker forever.

Here's Glastos. Ice Rods are actually nice weapons for monsters weak to ice.

Of course, not as nice as Galuf punching right through a turtle's shell.

They drop these, which are handy in the future but useless to us now.

In this encounter, I get hit by this move, which does 0 damage.

This is actually a Blue Mage spell, and I'm pretty sure this was the name in the RPGe translation as well. It's better known as "Revenge," where it does damage equal to Max HP - Current HP. It's handy when you're at low HP, but wouldn't you rather heal? I guess it might be handy with a Knight set-up.

Also got L1 Summoning. I'll probably level to L2 before switching to Red Mage, since L2 Summoning will be relevant for awhile.

Anyway, we reach our next destination.

Welcome to Karnak, city of fire. Yes, this is the actual town music for this place.

pushy, the Queen got angry and put up a wall to block the way there.

So we're roadblocked from going further because of the Queen getting pissed at a bunch of scholars. Alright, then.

Hey, our first mention of Cid! As usual, he's mechanically-inclined, though nobody mentions anything about airships.

...But everything's on fire.

Cid was born in a library? Huh.

Guess what we'll run into next dungeon? At least it's Blue Magic.

Werewolf?

Jacohl's an optional town we won't run into until quite a bit later.

...OK, I think we're done here.

castle?

So Cid's locked up in Karnak Castle, which means we'll inevitably run into him soon.

PIANO

HOLY SHIT those prices

The catch is you can only buy one item. So of course I buy the item most useless for me, since I'll be swapping out of Berserker soon anyway.

You're one of those monsters - don't try and deny it! We saw you crawl out of the crater!!

Do I look like a fucking monster, you douche?

Oh fuck this shit...

-----

We wake up in a cell with no way out. The only thing to do is wait a set amount of time.

Before this guy opens the way to...his cell.

Think it's funny!?!

Well...I guess I deserve it. I'm Cid.

Huh? The same Cid who built the crystal amplifier?

I'm sorry.

This doesn't really make sense unless you know he tried to stop the machine. The GBA version had the right idea in having Reina call them "terrible" machines, which makes much more sense given the reaction.

A book in the Library of Ancients said that long ago, crystals had more power. So, I studied the crystals at Tycoon, Walz and Karnak and made a machine that would enhance their power... But increasing their power only caused them to shatter...

But why are you here?

I was too late for the first two, so I wanted to save the third. When I tried to stop the machine...they threw me in here.

It's the same for us...

You...came to protect the crystal?

A crystal shard!! Just who are you?!

What?

You were right - I was wrong - the crystal's cracking!

What?!

I stopped the machine but the crystal's power only increased...

It may be the Fire Ship that's draining the crystal's power...

It's a Steamship in RPGe and fire-powered ship in GBA. I like Fire Ship the most because can you imagine anything more badass than a fucking Fire Ship? How would you sink it? It's already a Fire Ship!

I can't! They were seen coming out of the meteorite! They're in with Werewolf!

A..all right! Anything you say!

It's kinda cool that Cid quickly realizes just how important the party is and is willing to hardball the Chancellor just to bust us out.