Final Fantasy V Part #30 - Faris vs. Civilization

Part 30: Faris vs. Civilization

So, after slaying X-Death, we end up back on the home world (well, Bartz and the sisters' home world, Krile's kinda fucked right now), and conveniently right in front of Tycoon castle. There's nowhere else to go from here, so let's go to the castle.

The Chancellor is waiting...

Everyone pretty happy to see Reina back at Tycoon, of course.

Looks like even the Chancellor recognizes Princess Salsa.

The other translations have Reina going the likes of, "Father, he..." That makes more sense than this line because you fucking watched him die, you idiot.

This update in general has a lazier translation than usual, surprisingly enough. I guess this is where the translators stopped giving a shit.

The king's passing was a great loss...But we must continue on.

You know, a few of these lines would be much funnier without context. Imagine salsa as a delicacy for these people, and the translation suddenly becomes much more interesting, at least compared to the current version where we have a character named Salsa.

Salsa...do ye mean me?!

That is correct!

In the other versions, Faris contemplates the much-more-sensical Sarisa being her real name, then thinking about it as the name her father gave her. Here, it's more that she suddenly has a craving for some chips and salsa.

Preparations for the banquet are ready... Your acquaintances are welcome to join.

The chancellor is much more welcoming and less dickish to Bartz and Krile in the RPGe version.

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Anyway, we segue to the throne room, where apparently Reina's traveling garb and royal clothing are one and the same. You know, when she's not dressed like a ninja.

Oh come now, Princess!

T'arr! ...eh...

Meanwhile, Faris is decked all-out in regalwear. Why Reina doesn't have to dress like this, who knows.

Bartz, you're blushing!

I am not!

Then the Salsa Queen assumes the throne, and the dancers get ready for an elaborate dance piece.

Fancy, isn't it?

Krile, being a kid, decides this shit is too boring to watch and leaves.

Meanwhile, the guards get really into the event.

Wait...are you really implying that "Faris" is the weird name here? The Tycoon kingdom is fucked in its collective head.

Let's check on Krile, shall we?

Krile...everything okay? You're still thinking about Galuf...?

Yes. But I'm not sad, I'm anxious... It's as if somewhere inside of me he's telling us to hurry.

The reason why he warped to our world!

Yes! Right!

Again, another translation snafu. Obviously, Bartz means the reason why the party warped back to this world, which is in the other translations. Here, Bartz's wondering why Galuf warped here in the first place, something that he already fucking told you, you idiot.

So now we're off to find out what the fuck's going on, since there's too many unanswered questions and too many empty spell slots for this to be the game's ending. Let's go get the Tycoon Queens and

Oh, we can't talk to them because the dancers are rude.

"I mean, it'd be really rude of us to try to get past those dancers!"

So we abandon half our party just to avoid an awkward situation where we have to walk past some dancers. You'd think Bartz's experience as a dancer himself would let him get by, but no, he respects the art of the dance too much to interrupt it.

The NPCs are as useful as ever.

My apologies! I'm hurrying to tell everyone the bridge over West River is finished!

I don't recall there being a west river before, but then I don't have this game's map memorized like 4 and 6.

They didn't even bother capitalizing Krile's name in three different text boxes...

Why you little...!

Hee, hee... Gotcha!

The other versions, Bartz is more, "Welp, you kicked my ass," in a manner of speaking.

Now that we're done punching children, let's go cross that bridge.

Also, yes, right now we've just got Bartz and Krile. Now Krile gets a chance to shine!

Now that the bridge is up, we can go back to the pirate cave and pick up Boko.

You can talk to chocobos too?

Only a little. I think he wants to introduce us to someone.

Oh? This is his wife...Koko.

Boko! You old snake!

He says he already knows.

Wha?

You're leaving on another journey, right?

Are you okay with that?

What's he saying?

That he loves her.

Hoo-boy!

Technically, children in the other two versions. Misinterpreting the reproductive nature of chocobos is easily the greatest sin this translation has done.

Thanks, Koko.

Wark!

With Boko, we can now cross shallow water.

Never seen a bridge that long before.

Now we can bypass the river to the north of Tycoon (which didn't have an opening before) and get moving to wherever.

There's our airship, though we can't get there with Boko, unfortunately.

We can actually get to Tule with Boko, so let's do that.

Then go to Beginner's house and tell them what you just told me.

Now that we've killed the big bad, we're skilled enough to go back to the Beginner's Hall and rub in our expertise.

"Bare" can be equipped with all weapons and armor. "Mime" can be equipped with every armor except Ribbon. But because its "power" and "magic" are low, it's weak. Just keep using it while you master other Jobs, and it'll be useful. You can carry over Abilities you learned from Jobs with "Bare" and "Mime". So if you've mastered Knight, Black Mage, and Thief, "Bare" and "Mime" will have the same powers as them. Magic can be added to Thief's two other skills, "Hidden Passage" and "Dash." After you master several Jobs, "Bare" and "Mime" will actually become stronger than the others!

Basically, this tells you that Bare and Mime (the one job we don't have yet) are awesome when you've mastered jobs. I'll talk more about Mime once I get it. I don't get the "Magic can be added to Thief's two other skills" thing, but it's basically saying all passive skills from mastered classes can be carried over to Bare and Mime. This is very useful, as you don't have to spend slots on those abilities. With Bare, Reina with mastered Ninja could use Dual-wield without having the ability equipped, letting her use Sshot and Sword Magic while dual-wielding. Now that's going to be fun to exploit.

It's a dragon peninsula, not a bird one.

there!

Turtle?

Kinda-sorta?

What a shock! But I'm so glad both princesses returned to the castle safely.

Wouldn't one of them be a queen at this point?

Anyway, since Tule's useless, we go west and end up falling into a pit.

You were riding too fast...

Don't take it out on him!

Looks like a boss battle!

This is the...Antolyon. It's like they didn't even bother trying to localize this one. They just did a direct translation and called it a day.

Anyway, Blink nullifies most of this guy's attacks, and Krile has Black Magic, and this guy's designed to be fought against two characters.

That said, he can mess you up with Dischord and inflict Sap with HeartBurn.

Bartz has so little to do that I have him cast some Red Magic spells, though between only having L2 elementals and having his level halved, his damage pales to Krile's.

In the end, the guy's pretty trivial.

Oh no.

Wark...

Nothing to do but wait around, until...

We end up playing a game where we try to grab the rope, only to have it pulled away from us.

Even that doesn't work.

In the other versions, the voice instead says, "Promise never to do that again?", more implying that Bartz was wrong for doing something rather than having the mystery person revel in being a jerk. Actually, I may like this version more for that reason.