Part 51: Wherein the plot finally starts

Chapter 51 - Wherein the plot finally starts




Last time we ended the chapter with some crazy Raiders of the Lost Ark action.



I also ended the update conveniently in a spot to cut any bullshits, because...



Well, mostly because this is the update where the plot really starts. I've been promising it for a while now. For you people who don't understand why FF7's plot is confusing, welcome.



Before you ask - no you didn't miss anything last update.



This pool was just there, we finished the puzzle, and Aeris ran to it just like you saw and started talking to it.



The first part of the temple is just as you saw, a (very linear at that) maze.



Tseng is injured, but he didn't die.



The ancients show us a vision, presumably of what happened not long ago. THANKS CAIT.





The temple wasn't Egyptian enough by just being a pyramid, it's a good thing they added the paintings and hyeroglyphs, I wasn't "getting" it.



Then again, we live in a universe with Korean BBQ, Texas Hold'em, and Japan. Fine, I'll quit it.





Nothing spells romantic as being in an ancient dusty Temple with a psychotic mutant.



But we're talking about people who kidnap others for a living, so what do I know?



Oh fuck.







The creepy thing about Sephiroth is that he just doesn't make sense.



We need more information, but don't worry, we're getting there.





Yes he... splits in two. And one of "him" is looking at us.



"I will meld with it all. I will become one with it... it will become one with me."

"You can do that?"

"The way... lies here."




Nooo, Tseng



Alright, so



Sephiroth is pretty much bananas.







This never works, the asshole always flies away with noclip on.



The spirits of the ancients appear as you progress through the dungeon to let you save. It's pretty cool.



This one here is one of the most annoying puzzles in the game. It's not THE most annoying (it will take a while for us to get there) but it's definitely top 5.



Basically you have to... well it's not a puzzle per se, you simply have to spin the fucking clock around to get to different rooms.



Yea, I know. You spin me right round, babe, right round etc.



Of course there's nothing in Room 2. Oh how I miss the 90s. You could toss flat textures at walls and call it a day.



Well, Bethesda still can.



Let's get this out of the way first. This is what we get in Room 9. The [Princess Guard] is Aeris' Ultimate Weapon.



The Princess Guard deals 52 damage (slightly less than Umbrella's 58) but has 6 Linked Slots and 1 Unlinked Slot. It also increases Magic by 22, Defense by 12 and Spirit by 20.



Last but not least, the damage is increased by 100% for each dead ally in combat.



Oh no! This is what happens if the second indicator hits you while you're walking. You fall.



You'll fall in this place where you'll have to fight some random irrelevant enemies.





Nevertheless, your reward is the [Nail Bat], one of the most awesome weapons in the game. Do you doubt me? Well look at the damn thing:





Nail Bat is another one from the series "weapons with no materia slots and a crapload of damage" and fuck I can believe that.



This is where we exit, though. 1/2 mystery passages resolved. Sadly enough we have to go all the way back.



Next we finally get to this place through Room 5. Our reward is the [Ribbon], one of the most important items in the game.



Why? Well let's put it this way - the Ribbon is the only accessory that protects you from every single status ailment in the game.



Room 8. Temple of the Ancients? Between [Morph], [Ribbon] and a Ultimate Weapon, this is more like Piñata of the Ancients



Oh God more weapons stop it game you're making me embarassed. This one's the same as the other no materia weapons except it's for Cait Sith.



Proceeding through Room 6 you exit at another puzzle. This ancient runs away as soon as he sees us.





Cue the Benny Hill Theme again.



Where the hell is "home" though? I don't think Cloud has had a home for years now. Oh God, we're bums.



PTSD doesn't quite work this way, Aeris.



So yes, we have to catch him. Every time we enter a door he exits through a different door and enters another one. The pattern is fixed but the doors don't work both ways - they're connected to different places whether you're entering or leaving them.



Since I've already linked the Benny Hill Theme, here, have a music of mine enhanced by the Wub Machine.



Oh cmon I can't even play the minigame without the game tossing weapons at me. I'm pretty sure you can figure by now whom this weapon belongs to, how many materia slots it has and the damage with a margin of error of +- 2 points.



Here. Through the use of my very advanced image editing skills, I have made a handy guide for your convenience. You're welcome.



Well then, if you insist.





No Cloud, why would you do that



Right.



That's incredibly creepy.





"A Treasure house of knowledge..."

"I don't understand what you're saying!"









There's not much to say here. Sephiroth makes as much sense to me as he does to you.



Luckily Aeris is always there to ask the right questions.





"The amount of energy gathered depends on the size of the injury."



I'm gonna help you here. The world of Final Fantasy VII is called Gaia.



It coincides with something formulated in the 70s called Gaia hypothesis, a hypothesis that the entire planet is a single complex life system and we're part of it just like our cells are part of us.



Gaia herself is a Greek Goddess, the "Mother Earth" per se. Gaia being a primordial Greek deity was a direct representation of the powers that compose the universe, being far above Zeus and the other traditional Greek Gods.



The world of FF7 is a literal interpretation of the Gaia hypothesis - in which the worlds are literally living beings such as us. Lifestream is the "world blood", which is essentially spiritual energy.



There's an interesting secondary layer to this.



The concept of "God" being the sum-total of consciousness in the universe is present in many cultures, philosophies and mysticism. In the west it's - again - more present in Greek philosophy but it's a strong part of a vast array of esoteric beliefs.



Sephiroth takes - for the sake of narrative - all of these concepts literally.





"That will never happen!"



And of course he flies away.



Not the voices again.



You know...



We've been talking about Sephiroth, but let's stop a bit and take a look at our protagonist.



Our protagonist, too, is completely insane.



He's constantly having seizures and hearing voices and losing control.



And it makes sense. He's the only person in the world that we know that may stand a chance against a very crazy individual with psychic powers. It wouldn't make sense for him to be normal.







And everyone knows that and acts accordingly.



And with that striking view of the doomsday, we conclude this update.


Next Time!

BOSS FIGHT! BOSS FIGHT! More plot! More shit happening!