Part 57: Cold Exposition, Part II
Chapter 57 - Plot Exposition, Part IIDouble update!
Insert exhibitionist joke here.
Oh, nevermind. It's more plot exposition!
I'm pretty sure by now you folks had figured out these two were Aeris' parents. But in case you hadn't, surprise!
No it's not, no it's not. You two have no idea of the amount of discord her name is gonna cause.
I mean, some dude had even threatened in the sandbox that he wouldn't read the LP if I didn't name her Aerith, the way it was intenn3dfewjifwejifwjifwjsjisji fuck.
Wait a minute, did it take them 10 days to name her? Oh, forget it. Moving on.
Oh, please. You know how men are once they buy a new 2TB HD. After the initial 3 hours cooldown from moving Steam (and making half the HD useless already) it's all h264.
I'll tell you something though, if every parent was as enthusiastic as this guy we'd have a lot less angry people in need of therapy.
Actually, nevermind. I can see how having your childhood be a retelling of 1984 being incredibly traumatizing.
You have no idea
Right as they hug each other, there are some noises coming from the outside.
Guess who's with them!
That's right, our favorite completely insane incompetent scientist, Hojo.
It's amusing to note how in the flashback, Sephiroth comments how he admired Gast's work and books, while Hojo was a failed immitation of him at best.
Imagine Hojo and King Joffrey in the same scene. Who would you punch first?
"I'll need all of you for my experiment. You understand don't you, Professor Gast? We can change the future of the Planet!" 
At this point there are gunshoot sounds.
The rest is history. Gast was killed and Ifalna and Aeris were captured. As we know, at some point Ifalna managed to escape from Shinra, but was badly injured in the process.
One could say that Hojo...
Has killed them in cold blood.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAH
Now that we're done, we go down the stairs...
And pick up the last item in the town. We can move on with the plot.
I think this is the official point where I kinda start seeing the Turks as comic relief.
Now, I won't go all apologetic on the EU, but really...
I mean, think about it for a minute.
Elena has been hilariously incompetent this whole time.
How do you separate the CR? It's a SEE... CRHRRHRRR.... EET.
I don't think Cloud even worries anymore.
Can't Elena just ask him? I'm not sure if he's dead or not in this timeline.
Anyway, here's a proto-quick-time-event.
A super fast screen showing a wall of text shows up for a milissecond (seriously, I couldn't even screen-grab it) telling you the commands to dodge the punch and then she punches you.
If you hold to a side when she punch you, Cloud will politely dodge and she'll just roll over.
It's very, very silly.
I'm with you, bro. We're not even trying.
Why of course let us s
Oh for fuck's sake, another minigame.
This game sure does love minigames. Well, we need to get a snowboard, so here we go.
Hoorah.
Sure thing, it's not like I've never snowboarded before or anything and the only place to practice snowboarding leads to a deadly widow-making glacier.
Once you go through the Elena event, you can no longer go back. You can pick up the (Kick his butt) option...
Buut he's not really into it.
Talk about a reunion. This is gonna be fun.
Next you're gonna pull an Austin Powers on me and say you have a family too.
One last note before we leave - The events in the city change after Elena's punch. Notice how the girl is now running around in the past screenshot and the boy's mother is fixing the chimmey.
And ooon we go!
NEXT TIME:
Snowboarding! Puzzles! Side-quests! Passing out!
