Part 69: Poppin' and Slappin'
Chapter 68 - Poppin' and Slappin'
Last time, the Weapon blew up the Shinra building with a well-placed 9999 crit.
Quite frankly, we could have done it with Aeris and an umbrella, so I'm not that impressed.
Anyway, we climb out of the cell. This is an interesting part...
Basically, Scarlet and her goons decide to follow us.
Fortunately for us, they can never really catch you.
If you play "normally" they're there just to give the moment some tension as they'll follow you somewhat closely...
...but if you stop they won't follow until you proceed to the never checkpoint.
We fall down to the cannon, this part can be a bit confusing.
I really like the cannon though.
It's a bit mixed between steampunk and dieselpunk.
The geometry in this part is confusing. You can kinda move freely around but there's only one spot to proceed.
It's quiet. I really like this scenery.
Either way, we're kinda running out of space and into a dead end.
And yes, she's followed us all the way to the cannon. She really, really, really hates Tifa.
Look, there's a reason to this Chapter's name.
Namely the most infamous fight in this game.
Yes. It's a slap-fighting combat simulator. And you thought the death row chambertronic 2000 was stupid.
Basically you have to find the sweet spot for timing your slap right before Scarlet.
Sometimes, one must take fate in their own hands.
I want you to take this time and appreciate how complex Scarlet model is compared to the others.
I don't know -
Falling from the cannon DOES sound better than dying a "slow, painful, agonizing death" through choking.
OBI-WAN NOT NOW.
Oh my.
It's...
THE FLYING BATTERY ZONE.
I'm just kidding, it's Barret in the ship they stole!
Flying Battery Zone is actually much later on. Also, it's not flying.
I'm gonna be honest, though, I found this to be a pretty awesome escape sequence. I always felt like the Junon sequence was the real start of CD 2 and in narrative structure, this would be the equivalent to CD 1's escape from Midgar.
If I had to offer one complaint about FF7's CGs is how schizophrenic the character style is. Sometimes you get pre-rendered SD characters, sometimes you get the pre-rendered full-detail characters.
But you know what, let's appreciate 97's motion goodness in screenshots.
Like Tifa's "HOLY CRAP I MISSED THE ROPE" look.
There you are.
And off we go. Fuck the Tiny Bronco we now have a kickass airship in our hands.
I mean, look at that shit. I'm not even sure how it flies but it sure looks cool.
Life is good again.
NEXT TIME:
Holy crap we have a flying boat I mean holy shit!
Awesome Music we've listened in this Chapter:
Flying Battery Act 1 - One of the best tracks from Sonic & Knuckles, not that it had many and not that the others weren't also the best tracks from Sonic & Knuckles, but you got the gist of it.
Flying Battery Act 2 - Do you really, really love chromatic progression like the one in James Bond? Why goodness, another 10 minutes of it!
Snappleman - Dead Batteries - I know you guys love remixes and this is awesome. Normall I'd say it can't get better than that -
MC Hammer goodness - Except for this. There you go, the ultimate Flying Batteries "remix". Have fun.
Chapter 68 Bugs & Bytes
I felt like this deserved some additional posting -
Like I said you can lose the slap fight. It's fairly hard since you can just smash the O button like a madman and you'll end up winning, but, you know...
There's no Save Point anywhere near so I sure as hell didn't want to try it back in the day. The magazines said you'd get a Game Over if you lost.
Instead, Tifa simply falls down and the cutscenes proceed as usual.
So no, nothing happens. Tifa can't be slapped to death and she sure as hell can't choke either, or be caught by guards. So if you're playing and you get to this place, rest assured that all tension has been killed for you. You're welcome!
Cannon in D
Look, English is not my first or second language but I could swear it should be "Cannon" here.
