Part 413: Gaius B

Oh, Gaius! Yoo-hoo!

Hey there, kid. How's the dragon business treating- *Sniff* sniiiff* Oh, sweet flaming onions... What's that horrific stink?

I put some perfume on! I think it gives me more poise.

How much did you use? My eyes are burning up...

Well, the whole bottle, of course. What did you expect?

Er... If I say you have lots and lots of poise now, will you go wash that off? *cough*

Really?! So I'm your type now? Being older and poised and everything?

Um... sure. Absolutely and without hesitation. *hack, hack* *cough*

Hee hee. Sounds like someone is in loooooove with me.

Not likely.

Rude! ...Also, why not?

Look, I don't actually care about older women, all right? I just made that up on the spot so you'd leave me alone.

...Oh. Fine then. No, that's fine. Let's start over, then. And this time, give me a serious answer.

If I match the answer, it means you're totally in love with me and I win!

Oh, for the love of...

Fine. I like women who are broad minded and tolerant of others. Which you aren't. So you lose.

...Broad-minded and taller than others? What's height got to do with it?

No, that's not what... Gods, this is like discussing literature with a horse. Tolerant, Nowi. Tolerant. T-O-L-E-R-A-N-T. Someone who's kind, warm, and willing to embrace different cultures and ideas.

Oh, I get it. Hey, if I turn into a dragon, I can embrace you AND keep you warm!

Um... please don't? I like my bones to be solid and nonliquefied.

Gods, you are SUCH a hard man to please... Just tell me what I can do, okay? And use normal-person words!

Ugh, I'm no good with kids. Even kids that are a thousand years old...

Come on, Gaius! I'm waaaitiiiiiing...