Part 809: Cynthia B

Cry justice into the dark of night, and it will echo back, "Cynthia!" Any who would face divine judgment, step forward and meet my blade! ...Yes! Nailed it! That's a total keeper!

As in, keep out of sight? ...Keep secret forever? ...Keep being a big fat loser?

Keep being a huge jerk! What's wrong, jerk? Did you run out of flies to pull the wings off of?

Don't flatter yourself. I was just passing by. ...I should keep walking before someone sees us talking and gets the wrong idea.

I wish you would! You're like a dark cloud that just floats around raining on people. I don't think I've ever heard a single nice thing come out of your mouth!

All part of being a... what was it again? A cynical little ice queen? If I played along with your sorry delusions, what sort of villain would I be? Yes, I'm afraid you're stuck with me. Mwah ha ha ha ha!

That DOES it! I demand a duel!

...Wait. YOU are challenging ME?!

Name your terms, villain! I'll outrun you, outfence you, or even outEAT you! Whoever loses has to apologize to the winner!

I'm sure you could win the eating contest easily...

Ha! You talk a big game, but that's all you are--a big bag of hot wind. A supervillain like you wouldn't have the guts to face me in a fair fight!

I was going to take pity and spare you the humiliation, but so be it. You're on, loser! I hope you're ready to be crushed like a cockroach!

Ha! Now that's a lame line if I ever heard one!

So, what'll it be? Name your challenge. Pick anything you like. Doesn't matter to me. I'm better than you at everything!

Destroying you at any single event wouldn't prove the spectacular gap in our skills. I'll take you up on all three of the tests.

...Er, all three?

That's right! Unless you want to go ahead and concede now?

N-not on your life! I'm going to enjoy grinding you into the dirt!

Hah! Now who sounds like a villain? Maybe you should drop the prissy little hero act and join me on the snarky side...

Never!

Then I suggest you stop dreaming up catchphrases and start drafting that apology. You'll be needing it soon! Mwah ha ha ha!