Part 7: Blood of Pride

My favorite under appreciated part of Ostian Princess is how half the maps have their original names and half the maps have new ones. It's a fun guessing game.



Anyway, we're back in the territory of map layouts being completely unchanged.



As well as the map's dialogue being mostly the same. Gotta say, I kinda sold Mig64 short - there actually was a decent amount of new dialogue in the last couple of chapters. I mean, it was all completely retarded, but you can't win them all.



Random thought, but is Zack's shirt getting glitchier? It can't just be me, right?



I think it might be.



Maybe it's just prolonged exposure to OSTIAN PRINCESS.



You can sorta see the head of an enemy thief behind this schmuck's portrait.



Anyway, this thief approaches us.



And Natalie... slides around the screen.



Then through everyone else. It's kind of charming, really. Natalie is fast becoming my favorite character in this hack, even with the game over thing.



Oh, hey, it's Legault! Surely this will be magical and enlighten us on why he's now a throwaway boss.



Orrr they could just exchange Yu-Gi-Oh! level dialogue.



Actually, that's an insult to Seto Kaiba. Seto Kaiba was awesome. Why isn't he in this hack?



His voice actor ruled, too.



Anyway, this sniper moves up, targets Legault...



And the game freezes. I'm not joking. It also screams bloody murder at us. This is the sound of Satan scratching a boiling kettle across a chalkboard. Weirdly, the scene worked fine on my test run, but every run since the game hung up right here. I tried every combination of skipping/not skipping dialogue chunks, but it didn't work. The only way for me to get to the map...



Was to skip the dialogue entirely.



"For instance, your game could freeze and screech at you. Do not be alarmed. This is merely Zecallous, the destroyer, raging against his infernal bonds. Simply surround your computer in a circle of salt and chant a Buddhist prayer."



Also, the new guy sucks and has a stupid name. Just throwing that out there.



He does come with the typical ridiculous inventory, though.



I bring this up because the enemies still blow.



Anyway, Ju (seriously?) moves up to the village, and... recruits... Matthew...



... Did Mig64 just give up or something? Did he really like Serra and Matthew's supports? Why are the two characters kept from the original game Matthew and Serra? They worked for Ostia! These are the two characters we SHOULDN'T be getting.



Even his stats are exactly the same!



Also in other news, Corsa started with Filmbulveter. Fimbulgaria. Fin-Fang-Foom, he whose limbs shatter mountains and whose back scrapes the sun?



Fimbulvetr. If you want a laugh, imagine me playing this game with my little brother back when it was new and both of us struggling to pronounce it. I think we just settled on calling it Blizzard.



For real though, this map is almost pathetically easy. Not only are out stats a lot higher, but we have a ton of B and A rank weapons. These bozos are carting around iron ones.



Also, we can't actually access Natalie's inventory mid-battle, so that means not only is it game over if she dies, but she isn't even contributing anything while she's there.



You can go with this, you can go with that, or you can throw with us.



Oh wait, I have found something Natalie can do. Rescue units. Why would we want a weak unit that has plot-critical status to lower her speed, the one thing that has a vague hope of keeping her alive? Well. I don't know.



She can if you want her to, though. Merlinus in FE7 couldn't rescue units. Score one for FEDDOP.



Anyway, she drops the bass.



"... which is the worst name I've ever heard in my entire life. Either the J is silent, and it's just stupid, or it's said like "Jew", and it's very vaguely racist."



Speaking of Tak and the power of Juju, for some reason he says his line when Matthew steps on the switch. Even though Matthew should be the one talking. Okay.



Also, we have the End Turn command back. Happy day.



This soldier won't move, so Lilian just whacks him three times with some fireballs.



Aaand Matthew gets the angelic robe from a chest. Somehow I missed the screenshot of him actually opening it. Don't ask me how.



Anyway, next turn Matthew moves closer to the bottom door, and Axel plays for him.



And gets everything but speed. Which is kind of impressive, since, if he's got Sain's growths, his Defense is a whopping 20% growth.



Maybe I'm just too used to FE13's growth rates. Also, Serra and Matthew still have their Talk.



Trust me, Matt, I'm wondering the same thing.



Anyway, Santangelo kills the Soldier inside the room Matt opened.



And... this map is kinda boring and pathetically easy, so here's a brief interlude! The short character bios you can get by pressing R over somebody's name. Why does a landlocked nation have an armada? Furthermore, why is the Marquess of Thria an officer in Ostia's army? They're both part of the same alliance of territories, but they're still separate! This'd be like the governor of Ohio also being a part of the Virginia Defense Force.



Sephyz is exactly the same as Florina's, just with a find/replace job.



A character bio from Mig64... very strange. Why the random ellipses?



Mundo's is exactly the same as Dorcas's.



And... wait, hold on. Okay, it's time for plothole discussion theater.



This is Renault from FE7. He joined you in the second-to-last/third-to-last chapter of the game, depending on whether or not you got the side quest. He was a Bishop who lived on the Dread Isle, Valor. He was shrouded in mystery and had very little dialogue, but his supports and battle dialogue with the game's villain revealed the following:

quote:

Renault: He has no care for his creations. He merely brought them into this world to serve him. His only interest is himself. Those...things...that he discards. They lose their way... and wander. And he cares not. Morphs are the mere fact of existence, once meaning has been stripped away.
Canas: Renault... How do you know so much?
Renault: ......
Canas: Nergal began creating morphs centuries ago. Even Athos knows so little. So how could you...?
Renault: I don’t know. My own past is a mystery.

quote:

Renault: Nergal, do you remember me?
Nergal: Hah. You are... Renault. So you're still eeking out a wretched existence?

In other words, Renault is hundreds of years old. Meaning, unless his brother was ALSO one of Nergal's associates, he should be long dead by now. Thanks, Mig64.




Serra works for Laus now, instead of Ostia, which at least... vaguely... makes sense. In the loosest terms. Erik, the head of House Laus, was killed in FE6, but he might have had an heir or something.



Ju exists, and has the same bio as Rath.



Matthew's is the same.



Lilian's is the same as Lyn's. 'Young' girl is right.



Axel's is the same as Sain's... wait.



Go to Axel's sheet, it's fine...



Go to Lilian's sheet then scroll down through the units...



And suddenly everyone's is glitched. Lovely.



Anyway, Santangelo presses a switch to reveal our boss.



It's a warrior, this time! The boss in the original game was a knight. Let's take a look at him.



... Geitz? I - oh, whatever, fuck it. This brings our slain FE7 party member count up to 3, for those keeping track at home.



And his bio offers no explanation, as usual.



And speaking of Morphs and lack of explanation, for some reason the Archer with him is a Morph. Even though we're supposed to be fighting the Black Fang in this map. Or maybe it was bandits. Or maybe both.



Lilian fries the Archer.



And gets an Eh level. Take a look, though. This is our lord, at level 7. What the hell, she's terrible.



Matthew gets an armorslayer. Even though the boss isn't a knight anymore. Couldn't have given me an axereaver or something, Mig64?



Thanks, Matthew.



Anyway, Ju weakens Geitz...



As opposed to your axe's arrow and your bow's blade?



Lilian finishes him off.



- Geitz reviews Ostian Prin-



I... what?



And he's still going!



... I think he just cursed Lilian to get a shitty level.



It sure is.



I wonder how many times, a day, a guy named Ju has to hear stupid puns or get confused over whether or not people are calling for him.



Yep, she sure is Lord Hector's -



"... I wondered when the hell she had a child with a nomad that died when she was fifteen."



"Until I realized none of this made any sense."



She looks exactly like Lilina! She literally looks exactly like her when she was ten! Where the hell are you getting the 'sacae blood' thing from?



Exclusive! Sneak preview of dialogue from the next Dream of Five update!



I kid, I kid.



Trust me, hook nose, we don't want you.



Hey, man, you're the one who looks like Severus Snape going through a midlife crisis.



Anyway, Ju, being our Rath replacement, joins our party after that sce-



Wait, what the hell? Ju/Rath is supposed to join our party, not Geitz/The Generic Boss! I'm legitimately curious how, from a coding perspective, he even got this to work. For one thing, what'll happen to Ju/Rath if he's not joining? And wait, what about his inventory? If I had known he was going to leave, I would have taken that Brave Bow off of him!



Fire Emblem: Different Dimensions: Ostian Princess. Starring Charlie Sheen as Geitz.



"Oh, you tried to kill us? No problem."



"We are winning now." would also be a good name title if this was its own thread.



I know, Lilian, I can't believe it either.



And he gives us some gold. Just like Rath. Only. He isn't Rath. He wasn't in Rath's position earlier. What?



Thanks for being incomprehensible and vaguely insane, Geitz.



Next Time: An interview with the creators of The World of Dark- actually... well, Geitz joined, and I wanna see his stats. Let's take a look ahead, shall we?



Jesus Christ.



JESUS CHRIST.



JESUS CHRIST.

Next Time: WHAT THE FUCK???