Part 38: (Part Three, Chapter 8) In which the lava makes little people pancakes
Because no one can ever again play a mission involving falling lava without thinking of Lash.Oh, whoops, did I just spoil a part of the upcoming mission? Sorry. I guess you can just... try to forget you read that.
The weakened alliance is forced to a hard choice: they must pass through the northern edge of the Serenes forest.
Serenes Forest, is, of course,
How are we doing for time, Janaff?
Our retreat is not going particularly well. If only the ravens were still here...
You've got to be kidding! How did they cover so much ground since yesterday?! They're definitely moving faster than we expected. At this rate, they'll catch us soon. Any ideas?
If Begnion found it, it would give them an open invitation to surge across Gallia. Your kind would not be pleased. We can't expose our country to that danger. We have to think of something else. Well, we can't start a fight in the Serenes Forest. Besides the terrain disadvantage, the forest isn't fully healed, and we can't risk burning it down again. Soren, any ideas? Our options are profoundly limited, Ike. It appears our only other choice is those caves up ahead.
It's a complex maze, full of lava and ash. Not exactly a place you'd want to rest. The legends say that, through the caves, there's one exit that leads to Gallia, and another exit that leads to Goldoa. Whatever the legends say, though, the fact is that it's suicide to go in there. We don't even have a map!
If the enemy catches up to us in this forest, we will certainly die. The caves are known to be dangerous, so Begnion may not pursue. Even the most formidable natural hazard isn't as deadly as an intelligent, living enemy. We must go to the caves. Now. All right, Soren. I trust you. Let's move out for the caves.---
Yes, sir. The enemy must be desperate. Why else would they enter that forsaken death trap?
We cannot go there without preparation. It would be suicide. Let's not follow them to their deaths.
Wow. Looks like we might actually get out of this ali-
I cannot allow you to do that, my dear General. You're--! Senator Valtome.
JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
If you're exceptionally good at remembering random bits of dialogue, you may observe that this line has been altered from the US version. In that version, Valtome addresses Zelgius as "Lord Zelgius of Cador". And if you're even better at this, you would have realised that Zelgius was previously stated to be the Earl of Kadohl and wondered why this inconsistency exists. "Cador" is, in all likelihood, the pre-romanized form of "Kadohl", meaning that this was probably just a translation slip-up that has since been corrected.
Anyway. Where were we? Oh, right.
JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
What a frightful bore you are. I came here in secret just to surprise you. Oh, I am surprised indeed. What would bring a senator of your station to a place like this? Do you bring new orders? Uwee hee hee. Oh, yes. I am here to deliver a decision handed down by the senate. In its wisdom, the senate has appointed me commander in chief of the Imperial Army. From this moment on, this army is mine. ...I see. Then I am at your command. Your orders, Commander? Uwee hee hee. Oh, you are ever so serious! You haven't changed one bit, Zelgius. One of these days, I will catch you off guard. Well, I suppose that impassive face of yours is just part of your charm. ...Senator Valtome. Your orders. Oh, yes, orders. Hmm, well, this battle is taking far too long for my taste. We will pull back and conquer Gallia by taking a different path.
The northern force will stay here. Tell them to go inside the caves and search for bodies of dead sub-humans or something. What?! Sending them into those caves is the same as sending them to the gallows. I implore you to reconsider, Commander. I gave my order, did I not? Get those men in those caves right this minute!
Besides, you should be happy. You're coming with me to finally wipe out those beasts. Come along now.
---
What can possibly go wrong?
Anyway, it's base time!
They're exhausted. Some are so bad off they can't even get up the energy to transform. The unwounded soldiers have been taking turns carrying the injured.
That's a good idea. Maybe I'll carry one or two on my back once we enter the caves. Hey, you're hurt, too. Be careful you don't strain yourself and cause permanent injury, all right? Hurt? Do I look like I've been wounded? Skrimir, you're standing in a pool of your own blood. Tell me the truth. It hurts to even stand, right? ...A little. Do the others know? No. None of our soldiers do. But I'm sure King Tibarn and Ike both know. Good. Our soldiers shouldn't know. I have to be their role model! They'll see that I've been wounded yet continue to fight. Maybe that will help them carry on. Skrimir...Wow. I'm veeeeeery slowly starting to
Don't talk to me! I hate you, Lethe!
That's too bad, because I like you. Liar. I'm only hard on you because I worry about you, and I want you to stay safe. Why did you even become a soldier? You used to hate fighting.This explains so much!
Hmph. Was it because of Ranulf? That was one reason, I guess. There were other reasons? Yeah. I wanted to stay with you. ...Does that mean you'll start talking to me again?
This explains so much!
I'm glad. Here. Take this as a token of apology. What is it? It's a Daunt scroll. I thought it'd be perfect for someone as scary as you! What!? Say that again, I dare you! Aaahh! Lethe's mad at me again! Stop being mean to me! I'm the mean one!?[Received a Daunt!]
Daunt is a moderately nifty skill that applies a penalty of -5 Hit and -5 Crit to any enemy units within three spaces of the user. The difference isn't astounding, but of course you have to remember that the penalty applies to all enemies in range whether or not the unit with the skill equipped is the one attacking. Given that you can potentially have most of your army attack an enemy each and all get the bonus, statistically speaking, one of them might have missed. And hey, if nothing else, it takes care of all those enemies with 1% or 2% crit chances... those guys are always funny until one of them crits and you lose a guy. Then it's less funny, and you're like, "man, I wish I had Daunt".
And it's always handy when you've got 10 SP to spare and all the good skills are taken.
Ike and Soren are officially BFFs, and holy god does this support ever work out nicely for both of them. It's like a regular Earth Pair except Ike is already invincible, so instead of redundant evasion he gets +2 Atk. Soren's a bit more vincible but hey, +30% avoid is +30% avoid.
Wondering whether or not this one is really worth it. I mean, sure, Rolf ducking behind Gatrie seems very strategic and all but really, neither of them need these stats very much. For all his awesome, Rolf shouldn't be getting attacked, and if there's one thing Gatrie doesn't need more of, it's defence. Maybe I should switch them? But to whom?
Aimee has a mindblowing variety of bargains today.
Some Bonus EXP levels.
There is also rejiggering of skills. Well, that's everything right there, actually, the only changes not pictured are that Counter and Miracle were moved from Ranulf and Reyson respectively.
Oh, and Blossom goes to Oscar, because he's been getting crap levels and is probably about to get another, so let's intercept that and make it good. Paladins are, on the whole, great choices for getting Blossom because their growths tend to be middling across the board.
We're done with this base.
What a lovely, hospitable place.
Look who it is! Something tells me he's not going to get to run away this time.
I should have curried favor with General Zelgius! Then perhaps I wouldn't have had to step into these ghastly caves...
Seems that way. What kind of numbers are we looking at? I can't see through all this smoke and heat. It's just like Soren said: a token force.
As far as I can tell, Zelgius isn't leading them. That helps things. We have to keep the enemy away from Skrimir and the others while they look for an exit. Let's proceed as planned. We have enough people here to deal with these clowns. Everyone ready? We're set. Let's finish this and get out of here!
Here's what we're up against. Our forces will be split into two for most of the map, and we'll all meet up and murder the shit out of Septimus together.
The man himself is something of a pain to deal with due to his pretty great defence, but otherwise won't be bothering us much, even with all that firepower. I mean, yeah, he hurts in theory, but look at that hit rate! Most of our guys have avoid in the high 60s or so at worst. We're gonna be alright.
Neither of the birds are going to be much help in this mission, and besides, they're already on a higher level than Ranulf.
Here's the deal. Mia and Nephenee are going right (and Oscar and Haar are coming for support, and Oscar might steal a kill or two). Everyone else is going left. That's... pretty much it for strategy, actually.
Let's go.
...
...
...
......oh! Right! The lava! Yes, there's lava. See those patches of scorched terrain scattered all over the map? Yeah, let's just say you don't want to be standing on those when the Player Phase begins. Know what's funny, though? Just like other Intelligent Systems Turn Based Strategy Game Levels that have this gimmick (i.e. Advance Wars 2), the AI completely refuses to acknowledge the existence of this hazard and will gleefully park vulnerable units in the hot zone. What makes this even better is that, unlike Advance Wars generally, environmental hazards can actually kill units (in AW, they'd just be left at 1 HP and you'd need to actually attack them yourself for the kill). On the other hand, the AW volcano did 5 HP damage to units that only had 10 - the lava here will deal 10 HP damage to units that can have upwards of 40. So... yeah.
Anyway, this unfortunate swordmaster (and another enemy unit too, but further away) begins the mission on a danger spot just so we can all see what happens to people who don't mind their surroundings.
Gatrie is once again proceeding unarmed (though not unarmoured). He's going to sit there baiting enemies while other people kill them. Just how he likes it.
See?
The enemy has no problem walking right onto the lava zone in order to not deal damage to Gatrie.
The already weakened swordmaster from before gets the great idea of trying to kill Mia. It goes badly for him.
Each of our turns is heralded by a glorious lava eruption.
Such clever enemies. Once again, a distant enemy is also hit.
This is why canned responses don't work, or, at least, require more careful writing than this. Here, Rolf suggests a thing and Gatrie seems to hear the exact opposite.
In any case, you can do worse than count on Rolf to get things done.
Soren is making himself useful too.
"That's cool. Now go stand in the way of a bunch of enemies."
That said, we're not sending Soren in alone. That halberdier and the mage are the only ones who can reach him, and he can take one physical hit alright. Besides, both will probably sooner go for Gatrie than Soren.
And by "work together" he of course means "follow behind Mia keeping out of trouble but staying within support range".
Nephenee clears an enemy out, and that's all for turn 2.
As
Haar is also being a giant unarmed distraction, and while he's not quite as weaponproof as Gatrie, he's a lot less hittable, especially since Daunt is in the picture too.
Two generals attack Nephenee and both miss, though both survive due to being generals.
Otherwise, everyone rushes forward.
Today's idiots are:
This guy!
This guy!
And this guy!
Soren and Rolf kill a guy each, and Ike comes down to help Gatrie with his wall.
Soren gets a second turn off Reyson and uses it to cripple the leftover enemy mage. Heather takes the kill.
Oscar gets his first objectively great level. About freaking time!
Mia and Nephenee kill a soldier each and that's it for turn 3.
This, of course, means the start of another wonderfully ineffectual assault.
Yep.
Rolf: Still Rolf.
Look at them all, crowded around the scorched ground.
We know what that means!
Hehehe.
While Mia cleans up one mage without issue, Nephenee is forced to step onto a lava tile to deal with the second.
Fortunately, we have rescuers with Canto in tow.
And we know how to abuse the Take command for maximum efficiency.
Funfact™: This map (not unreasonably) counts as indoors, so mounted units get the customary -2 move penalty. Shucks.
Meanwhile, Ike.
Also, Ranulf. This guy is nice enough to drop his Crossbow upon death. At this point, we're probably better off selling that, because they're not much good any more unless we're dealing with flyers, and Rolf already has one. In any case, Crossbows are quite valuable.
Rolf uses the last two uses of his Steel Bow to forcibly dismantle this halberdier.
And Soren continues being useful.
Thus endeth turn 4.
Pictured: the only interesting thing the enemy did this turn.
That is, besides getting hit with lava.
Haar is going to play Gatrie's game for a while. He and Oscar take up a defensive position here, and Nephenee and Mia duck behind them.
Rolf, Ranulf and Soren clean out the enemies on the left and everyone else moves up. We're going to make the enemy split up so we can counter push and pincer at the same time. Strategy! As part of the plan for moving up, Gatrie is standing on a lava tile, but he can take it.
The enemy falls right into the trap, and also fails at dealing any damage to boot. Beautiful.
Some reinforcements show up from the east. Whatever.
Ow.
Time for Mia to play the numbers again. Remember, kids, 40% x2 chance for Adept to activate and thus kill this guy (or 9% x2 chance for a crit. Total 98%! This is totally how probability works!)
Success!
Eh. Stats are so not the point of this right now.
Anyway, Nephenee and Oscar cripple the other two guys between them.
For their part, the left team are also murdering everyone in range.
Rolf is still the undisputed king of unnecessary crits.
Even his rubbish levels are great! Incidentally, Rolf has now capped his first stat - speed at 26! If he keeps getting levels like he has been, however, he won't even need BEXP.
I mean, look at those bars! (the length of the dark bar corresponds to the maximum value of each stat, while the green bar is progress towards said maximum. By carefully looking at these screens, you can get a pretty good idea of what everyone's caps are.)
As if that weren't enough, Reyson gives him a second turn, and he goes after an already weakened halberdier.
You just dealt damage to Rolf. Do you know what happens to people who deal damage to Rolf?
Did you guess "unnecessary crits"? If so, you win!
Ranulf runs ahead to soften up a general...
...followed by Ike.
Goddamnit Mist.
End of turn 6.
One almost completely ineffectual assault later...
...some mages show up. Good job.
Idiot.
Soren, has, of course, capped everything important, so whatever. And hey, him having high strength is going to pay off spectacularly in the endgame...
Anyway, we effortlessly murder our way through to the middle. In any case, Team Right are going to go, well, right, and draw out the boss and his minions, while Team Left are going down. Whatever happens, Septimus is going to be caught in a trap along with only half his minions. End of turn 7.
Or, alternatively, he could just charge right ahead without even waiting for us. Unexpected, but sure, whatever, this works too.
Some fool attacks Ike. Ike leaves him just barely alive.
Another fool runs into the lava zone for a sought-after chance to deal no damage to Gatrie.
Yet another fool goes after Mia and gets Vantage-Adepted to his death.
Two generals show up to "help" Septimus.
And there's lava.
While Ike, Rolf and Soren rip through the few units on the left side, Gatrie switches to the Right Team and prepares for his biggest distraction operation yet. Reyson switches along with him; they're going to need the turns more.
End of turn 8.
The enemies over here actually mean business. I mean, they're able to damage Gatrie!
Even Septimus takes the bait!
They told me that the enemy would be burnt by the time I reached them. The only thing I'd have to do was carry their dead bodies back as proof... It's just my luck that the enemy is alive and well! Why does this always happen to me?Oh poor you.
Poor, poor, you.
Oh boy. Druids hit really hard and Gatrie isn't quite as good at tanking magic as he is weapons. Still, though, he'll be fine. Note also that a priest has taken up residence on a lava tile for some unknown reason.
So all the enemies crowd right into a chokepoint. It's funny because the AI doesn't have any idea how to abuse chokepoints unless they have units already positioned and programmed not to move.
Related; the lava thing.
Capital work there, fellas.
Ike doesn't care about silly things like lava. In fact, he cares even less than he otherwise might because the enemy counterattack misses.
Heather goes scavenging.
And now, for a multi-move Crazy Strategy Gambit. We open with...
...an Adept kill.
Look at those smug faces. They're perfect for eachother. Er, anyway...
Oscar murders a defenceless priest...
Haar makes his glorious return to the sport of mage-crushing...
And then Reyson transforms and sings to Oscar, Mia and Nephenee.
Yes, thank you Reyson.
Reyson flees while the murder continues.
Oscar's really only here to give Mia some extra avoid, but he's still helping. Meanwhile, Gatrie has healed himself.
Nephenee helps in the crippling of a general. Anyway, we finish this turn in this position. Septimus is going to go for Gatrie, and lots of other enemies will roll up and either attack Haar or stand around on lava tiles. Meanwhile, Ike and co will move in from behind and mop up.
End of turn 9.
The general crippled by Oscar and Nephenee runs away and pinches Septimus' Concoction, and uses it to heal. On a lava tile.
The man himself decides to run all the way around Gatrie before attacking him. K then.
He hurts a little.
Lots of other guys feebly try to hurt Gatrie, too.
Ike takes some lava to the face. So does Haar, and two Begnion generals. This would be worrying if we weren't about to rout the enemy.
Rolf gets right on that.
Ike helps. Note that Ranulf has also moved in and transformed again.
Mia weakens a general using Adept...
Oscar takes the kill...
Nephenee takes a few HP off of Septimus...
Gatrie plugs the chokepoint up so those two down there are trapped with Ike...
And Haar gets another chance to actually use the Hammer.
And additional turns for all!
Oscar gets in one last hit on the boss. This breaks his Short Spear.
Haar goes murdering...
And Mia takes Septimus down.
Since we've now officially "missed" it, here's Septimus' dialog with Ike:
Wh-who are you?! Ike of the Greil Mercenaries. You don't look too good. Maybe you should just leave... Wait a moment... HAH! Look, everyone! Look at this one! He's not a beast! Oh, thank the goddess! Victory is nigh! So... Chasing us into these caves wasn't the plum assignment that all the best generals wanted, huh? How DARE you! Take my spear, knave!Anyway, never mind that, look! Look!
Oooooooooooh shit guys!
Holy trenchcoat, Batman!
We have our first trueblade! And holy shitting fuck, those are some numbers going up. That's +3 strength and defence, right there. For a physical class, that's just absurd. In fact...
...she's already capped defence! So, yeah, Mia has, as of now, officially become an independently functioning death goddess, able to be sent alone into a crowd of enemies and emerge next turn as the only living entity in the vicinity. And, speaking of murder...
Here's the trueblade mastery skill, Astrum (for some reason, this was changed in the PAL release from "Astra" in the NA release). That is not a typo or omission up there; this skill really does give you a [skill stat/2]% chance of launching Five. Consecutive. Attacks. And none of this half-power bullshit like in Path of Radiance, we're talking five full strength attacks. The only drawback of Astrum is that each hit will count as a use of your weapon. The thing is, though, that this isn't much of a drawback, because if the enemy dies in the middle of the combo, it will stop, and you won't use any more hits, so you'll never be wasting hits.
For those who like to think about numbers, a trueblade with a Brave Sword, 40 speed and skill (per trueblade caps), Adept, and best biorhythm has a 0.0004% chance of attacking 40 times in a row. More reasonably, right now, with Mia's 32 skill and a regular sword, we can get at least two (more if Adept activates) 5-25% chances of getting an Astrum. So, yeah.
What, thought we were done? You may have also noticed that the swordmaster's old Critical +10 skill has now evolved into Critical +20. This, on top of the Lv 20 swordmasters already sky high skill stat, makes them into critical hit machines. God. Damn.
So at the very least we gave Septimus a meaningful death.
Nephenee is on the very brink of getting a level up, so rather than just accept the one stat-up level she'll get naturally, she's going to hang back and wait for BEXP. This does mean, however, that we'll have to have Oscar rescue Reyson to keep him out of trouble.
Both surviving enemy generals go after Gatrie and miss.
I did so enjoy this mission.
The top guy is fed to Oscar...
And the bottom one to Ranulf and Rolf.
Undisputed. King. Of unnecessary crits.
That's strength capped! Talk about going out on a high note.
Hey, what the f-
Hahaha, Ranulf is kicking soldiers to death in human form.
Hey, did they just take a bunch of actions in one turn?
Excellent! Let's get out of here! You don't have to tell me twice.
Finally! The steep cliffs and open plains of Gallia!
Hey, wa-
Looks like we finally lost the Begnion army, as well. We can finally rest a bit. I thought we were finished... I thought my rashness had killed us. But we've lived to see our land again!
Hey, Skrimir. Has all the heat gone to that shaggy head of yours? Look around. Is this Gallia? ...What?! No! We can't be in--
Oh, fuck.
Goldoa, the land of the dragons... By the goddess, did we mess up. The dragons... It is said they are the most powerful of all the laguz tribes. I've always wanted to fight a dragon, but I never expected it would happen like this... When our king finds out about this, I will have much explaining to do. You've got to get home first, Skrimir. I guess we have to pay that stubborn old lizard a visit, don't we?
Let's go.
...And there you have it. We never intended to violate Goldoa's borders. It was an accident.
Meet Deghinsea, King of Dragons. For some reason, the spelling of his name was changed from Path of Radiance to "Dheginsea" in the NA version of Radiant Dawn, and then changed back to "Dheginsea" in the PAL version. I could write a short description of the man, but... well, just read on.
However, your reasons neither justify nor change the fact that you trespassed on our territory. I order you to leave immediately. Go back the way you came, through the caves. You would have us go through Kauku Caves again?! Never! Stop talking, Skrimir!
It is regrettable, yes. However, I cannot make exceptions. Your men will leave. Now. How could a laguz be so cold to his brothers? We are your people as well!
They even looked the other way while we birds and beasts were enslaved by beorc! Isn't that so, Dragon King? ...Our country is neutral. It has been since time out of mind and will continue to be so.
You are a beorc. I would not expect your short-lived kind to understand. I don't need to understand to see that it's a poor king who has so little regard for his fellow living creatures! Hmm...
Finally! Some friendly faces.
What are you two doing here?
Please allow my grandfather and me to guide the Laguz Alliance to the borders of Gallia. I beg of you.
Please, Your Majesty! He saved the soul of your son! Would you condemn them to die, despite the good they've done? ...Hmph. Do as you like. This is the only exception I will ever make.
---
If you're wondering what the fuck just happened, then you're undoubtedly someone who's never finished Path of Radiance (or just forgot). Here's a reminder.
Several years ago, Rajaion, one of Deghinsea's sons, was captured by King Ashnard of Daein. Ena, to whom Rajaion was engaged to be married, traveled to Daein to investigate and ultimately save him. She was quite successful in getting close to Ashnard, because Ashnard was famous for employing powerful individuals in his army regardless of their birth, and Ena proved to be a skilful tactician and, eventually, a powerful combatant (though for the most part, for obvious reasons, she kept her true identity as a dragon laguz a secret). This did, however, result in her having to go head to head with Ike and co during the Mad King's War - a battle she lost, prompting Ashnard to order the Black Knight to execute her.
Ena was saved from the Black Knight when Ike conveniently showed up and initiated the duel in which the Black Knight was supposed to have died, and joined up with Ike afterwards. She was finally reunited with Rajaion when it was revealed that Ashnard had warped him - using Izuka's Feral drug - into a personal mount that Ashnard used like a common wyvern. Ena, depending on interpretation, either tragically did not realize this or stupidly did not inform Ike of this until literally right after Ashnard had finally been killed, but Rajaion - barely - survived the experience, and Reyson (and Leanne) were able to cure him of his Feral condition, although they ultimately could not save his life. He did, at least, die peacefully.
This is what Nasir is referring to when he claims that Reyson "saved the soul of his son", and why Deghinsea then relents and grants their wish.
Hey... Where's Deghinsea's other son during all this? He seems to have disappeared off somewhere. You'd think, if he was there, that he'd have at least said hello to Ike...
ANYWAY.
Thanks, Nasir. You really saved us back there. It's the least we could do. I will pray for your safety.
We haven't seen you in a long time. Don't you have some time to stay and talk with us for a little while? A long time? What do you mean? We just saw you three years ago! Oh, that's right... Three years isn't all that long for you dragons, is it? Oh, I'm sorry. I suppose three years would feel slightly longer for beorc. Ike. I would love to stay and talk, but now is not the proper time. In truth, we are not even allowed to speak with you at all. Now, please go. Why? Why do you isolate yourselves from everyone? ...I don't expect you to understand. But I want you to know that we obey our king's decision of our own free will. That's all I can say. Nasir... You should go. Many of your wounded need immediate attention. Head back to Gallia at once, and tell the lion king what happened. All right... I don't get it, but I'll go now. We'll see each other again? I certainly hope so. You are one of our dearest friends. Take care, and be safe.---
The turn bonus "time limit" for this mission is twenty turns. Twenty. What the fucking fuck would delay someone for that long is a mystery to me. Not complaining though! Damn, that's a lot of BEXP! Whatever are we going to do with it?
Next time: What did they mean, "conquer Gallia by another path"? The only other way from Begnion to Gallia is - wait, fffuuuuuuuu-