Part 11

We last left Conrad continuing his sterling career as a hired dogsbody.

Fortunately only two jobs to go.

And obviously the problem was fixed by the same guy who did the maintenance check, right? Or am I being too sensible again?

Here is my impression of the New Washington council:

"Durr the reactor's about to explode and kill us all, shall we maybe send a team of guys in radiation suits to fix it?"

"Durr nope let's just put an ad in the paper and hope someone sorts it out before we all die."

"DURR AWESOME"

The remainder of this impression consists of half an hour of mongoloid groans and slapping my hands together like a circus seal.

Well, at least the commute's a snap.

Okay, the exploding reactor sequence. A lot of people in this thread have complained about it but I've got to say I found it pretty easy.

However, this is probably because I've (a) played it before, (b) got access to save states, and (c) aware of the fact that there's a rather frugal time limit that you can't see unless you check the timer that has miraculously appeared in your inventory.

Essentially it's a gauntlet. There are no enemies and only one straight path, so it's just a question of running through it as fast as possible.

The sparkly thing to the left can hurt you, but Conrad can roll while running, averting this potential disaster.

A rare moment of calm on the elevator down.

Now RUN CONRAD RUN SAVE THE CITY EVERYONE'S COUNTING ON YOU

More of those dang flash mines. There's a very brief window between running into this room and it being too late to avoid falling to your death, so keep your finger on that run-jump button.

Another lift. Whee.

FASTER FASTER THERE'S 500 CREDITS IN THIS FOR YOU

And now I'm here, on this occasion with a comfortable 7 seconds to spare. Plenty of time to realise that you're supposed to use the circuit board on the rightmost panel, but let's see what could have happened in the alternative universe where Conrad is a crapout.

Oh no! It's the worst explosion ever! The reactor has turned into a giant omelette!

But anyway, to quote the Prince of Persia, that didn't happen.

One more deadly job and then we can play the deadly TV gameshow in order to fight the deadly aliens. Conrad wonders why he bothers.

It's a good thing they included a picture of a gun or I'd have gotten confused. "Isn't that the janitor's job?" I would have said.

I think I'm about done beating this joke into the ground. Restricted area 3 is right next to the job centre. That's very considerate of the mutants.

deet doot da doo

Another of those two-mutants-either-side jobbies. Don't be fooled, though - these are a tougher element than the cockheads we slaughtered in the jungle, these ones have all got forcefields. Fortunately, their reaction time hasn't gotten any better.

After Conrad loses a shield he does the invincibility flashing on and off thing. He was doing this when I took the picture and as such didn't appear, so I've marked his approximate position with the Hamburglar.

Droppin' down and killing mutants, business as usual.

Again with the mutants from two angles.

Again with the two kills. Conrad's just a damn machine right now.

We picked up a key earlier and I forgot to mention. It was lying on the floor about four images ago. It goes in here.

That thing marked with the arrow is a ceiling-mounted bomb that drops when you walk under it. I have absolutely no idea how to climb onto the ledge without getting hit by the explosion and losing a shield. I tried climbing up and quickly climbing back down, no luck. So we just accept the loss of one shield point and get on with our lives.

This also gives us the aforementioned brief moment of invincibility with which to take out the garbage.

This is a very devious room. Take more than one step into it and get blown up by the mine. Or avoid the mine, then get shot by the jerk opposite. How to solve this? Reload a save state, of course, and sidle into the screen with gun drawn.

After jumping down and taking care of the other guy we head down again. There's a door in the floor, or a floordoor, or a floooor, that isn't open yet, so we'll head right first.

What the fuck? A cop? Are they working with the mutants now too? Let's recap:

People conspiring against Conrad

Evil aliens
Mutants
Cyborgs
The police
Fat bearded men who sit next to holes

People NOT conspiring against Conrad

Ian
Our lord Jesus Christ

The floooor is actually opened by a tripswitch in the room above, but I couldn't be bothered going back to establish. The cop was just guarding a key we need later.

Another cop who thinks he's so great. Just wait until his feet touch the ground and then he's on MY turf.

Dropping down here summons the end boss.

This screenshot illustrates one of Flashback's more annoying 'features'. When you press 'shoot' and an enemy is right next to you, Conrad attempts to pistolwhip them. This however does not work on sphere robots, and it will respond with a nice bolt of electricity up Conrad's big fat arse.

So we just duck and roll back and forth a few times to build up some distance, and the balance of power is restored.

And that's it; all the jobs done and we now have enough for Jack's extortionate false papers. Time to blow this popsicle stand.

Next update: the Jack Bauer Cyber Tower Power Hour