Part 6

Take heart, bored readers; this is the last forest update, and you can enjoy a change of scene shortly. Before that there's just the minor matter of getting there.

Conrad returns to the scene of an earlier crime and this time heads left.

The key we picked up goes in here, opening this door. This isn't actually necessary - you can climb up the ceiling in the previous room, head left and drop down, completely foregoing the need for both door and key. French developers are weird.

A droid picks a fight, and stupidly does it by gesturing obscenely with its probe.

The ID card we pinched off the dying man goes here. I guess this was where he hung out.

The Drop makes itself useful again.

Here's another situation that calls for strategy. The Drop won't work because it'll put me right next to these jerks. A drop, a roll and a rapid change of direction might work, but there's a more elegant way. It involves the camera on the right and the gun turret on the left.

We also need one of the stones from earlier. First, we let Conrad make a fool of himself with his flamboyant baseball pitch he's so damn proud of.

The stone upsets the camera, clearly poorly-disposed to rocks.

And the gun turret cleans up for us. It fires constantly from now on, but fortunately Conrad, unlike the mutants, understands the power of the crouch and forward roll.

The path leads us to this joker. I don't know what he's doing here, deep in mutant territory, I'm thinking he's either their tribal god-king or that there's some kind of Gorillas In The Mist-type arrangement. Whatever, he seems friendly.

I was kind of expecting the main highway to be a bit less vertical.

So let me get this straight. I give you 500 credits for an Anti-G belt you miraculously just happen to have lying around, and then cheerfully hurl myself down this seemingly bottomless chasm. And none of your customers have ever come back and complained, right?

On the other hand, it's not like we had anything else planned for the money, except maybe blowing it all on sweets.

The Anti-G belt turns out to be an ordinary belt with a purple Game Boy glued to it.

And as soon as Conrad has it, this little yellow triangle appears, pointing downwards. Well, frankly I thought this whole business sounded dodgy but you can't argue with confirmation like that.

A short way into his death dive, Conrad remembers he has to actually turn the belt on.

Conrad experiences buyer's remorse.

Fortunately Conrad's air soles absorb most of the falling impact and the only casualties are his pride and the old man, who blew all the money on mutant hookers and was later smothered to death by a pair of fat, warty buttocks.

Here's an animated gif of those last two images for pretty much no reason except for my childish amusement.

And what do you know? Turns out New Washington was down here all along.

Next update: That Fucking Ledge, and if you owned this game I expect you know exactly what I'm talking about