Part 115: Fan Trust Interlude: Yuri Kropotkin? I heard you were dead! by Zeroisanumber.
steinrokkan posted:
Does history know any cases of talented coaches leading their teams to victory only to die prematurely in a tragic accident involving piano wire and an ice pick? The megabastards can't be too happy about Wrexham's inconsiderate success.
: Moyes?! Shouldn't you be hiding in the boot of a cab somewhere? What are you doing here?
: I was called on our... mutual friend's number. And yes, God knows I've to keep a low profile. There are a group of Red Devils ultras hunting me! Hunting me, with knives and rope! Do you understand?! Losing the cup to that shitty little team of Welshmen has doomed me!
: Be calm Mr. Moyes.
: YOU!
: Yuri Kropotkin! You can't be here! You're wanted for murder. That satellite...
: Satellites fall out of sky every day. Sometimes in ocean, sometimes burn up in atmosphere, sometimes land on worst investment of your life and give you a chance to make good on terrible losses through crafty insurance fraud.
: And Brown exposed your scheme. The league stripped you of your franchise and MI-5 hounded you all the way to the border of Russia.
: Where our mutual friend found me and put me to work. And now, many years later, I am here for revenge!
: That's all well and good, and no one would like to see Brown humiliated and destroyed more than me, but how? He's surrounded by a team of fanatical footballers!
: His fanbase is building a replica of Nelson's Column dedicated to him in Wrexham!
: The Wrexham Board all owe both their jobs and their unassailable right to embezzle with impunity to him!
: His players left Euro Disney a smoking wreck that even the French won't visit!
: I have been cultivating a special weapon for just this purpose. For years I have been working, slaving over my revenge. Come forward, my servant!
: Yes, master.
:
: Justin Bailey! Impossible! He's...
: The perfect means of revenge! Observe. Bailey, kill that useless Sky Sport reporter!
: Yes, my lord.
: How did you?
: Bailey was never good enough to play in the Premiere League. When Brown removed him from the rotation, he became desperate and started taking performance enhancing drugs. Drugs which
I supplied to him. Drugs which have both granted his desire to be the greatest footballer in the world, but have left him a mindless slave under my control!
: Gotta....start. Football...is...my life.
: Soon, I will use his football skills to destroy Wrexham and grind Scott Brown under my heel!
: Heh... heh heh.
: Muh hu heh. Heh heh heh
: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA!!!