Part 120: Chapter the Second: Late escapes and near misses.

Chapter the Second: Late escapes and near misses.
September 1, 2021-October 1, 2021

Who's up for another six matches played in the span of 18 days? I hope you are, because we don't have a choice about our schedule.



The odds are drawn up when the transfer window opens, I believe. I can't believe a bookmaker could look at our team at the close of the window and think we're less likely to win the league than Spurs. We're roughly equal on paper to Arsenal/Chelsea/Man City, and all four of us are a half step behind Manchester United. Given that our oldest player is 25, I think we have to be considered likely to improve, and thus likely to be second only to United at the end of the year.

That's especially the case as the game doesn't do a great job of modeling player development stall-outs. I can think of any number of high ceiling prospects who improved at varying rates when they were young, or who took steps backwards when young, but in FM you rarely see a prospect at your club fail to develop year over year.



We've got 22 first team players, and 12 of them are on their national squad. Almost all the rest are on their national U21 squads. That means only Cirjak, Petts, Cardozo, and the injured Taborda will be around the clubhouse during the international break. I feel worst for Petts, he's never earned a single cap at even the youth level for England and he might never earn a cap despite being one of the better English midfielders.




I'm trying to be congratulatory, not patronizing.




And so when I try not to patronize you, you get all stressed! Yeesh. The good news is that Nieddu's nose for goal carried over to the international level, he scored twice in his first two senior team matches.




See, that's the sort of reaction I'm looking for.




And that reaction is even better.




Our boys scored goals galore during the break.



14-1 odds aren't that bad, but I'd toss 50 quid on us to win it all at those odds.

At Stoke City, September 11, 2021
Premier League


Stoke remain a good side, coming into this match 6th in the league and having qualified for the Europa League last year. We need to win away matches like this one if we're to take home the league title this year.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak (c), Laux, Todd, Suslov, Morvan, Petts, Matko, Nieddu, Mujkic, Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Pejkovic, Feruga, Mair, Julio, Cardozo, Aarts.

In the 12th minute Bastable is free in front of the goal and appears to net us the lead, but he was so open because he was well offside. The goal is correctly called off, and for the next fifteen minutes we're denied repeatedly by the Stoke keeper. Finally, Nieddu breaks through. He's followed quickly by Daniel Matko, who puts the ball into the back of the net for his first competitive goal for the club three years after we originally signed him. Stoke quickly pull one back, but it is similarly ruled out by the keen eyed ref. Bastable finally gets on the scoreboard just before halftime, and we take a big lead into the break.

After the hour mark passes with the score still three-nil I order the team to lower the tempo and try to husband their stamina for future matches. The change allows Stoke to find more success than all game prior, but our defense holds them to a sole consolation goal in the 88th minute. It's a good, solid win that also allows me to use all my substitutions to reduce fatigue.

Man of the Match: Dimitri Nieddu




Stoke 1-3 Wrexham



Vive le Roi-Dieu de Galles!

At Olympique Marseille, September 14, 2021
Champions League, Group B


We've got five players starting with less than 95% stamina: Bastable, Mujkic, Suslov, Nieddu, Todd, Laux. This is going to become a pretty common sight over the next few months, and even further if we get to the knockout stage of the Champions League. As we're away from home against a very solid Marseille squad I've decided to play a counter attacking style from our 4-2-3-1 formation.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Counter
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak (c), Laux, Todd, Suslov, Mair, Petts, Nieddu, Shirra, Mujkic, Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Mejasic, Pejkovic, Morvan, Julio, Matko, Cardozo.

I'm a tactical genius. The visiting stands erupt when Shirra scores at seven minutes, and again when Meteor scores a set piece goal twenty minutes later. From there our Scottish midfield maestro conducts the shearing of Provence. He bags his brace just after the half hour and earns his hat trick at 52 minutes.

I tell the team to stop playing such an uptempo style as several players are looking gassed on the field, and use all three substitutions to conserve our legs for the upcoming Tottenham Hotspur match. We yet again don't keep a clean sheet, but yet again it doesn't matter thanks to our jet fueled offense. 10 points is usually enough to make it out of the group stage in the Champions League, and we've already picked up three.

Man of the Match: Scott Shirra




Marseille 1-4 Wrexham



Champions League prize money is nothing to sniff at, if we qualify for the next stage with games in hand I'll be torn between trying to rest our starting eleven and wanting to bag as much cash as we can.




It's not surprising that Shirra wants a new contract, or that he waited until he dropped a hat-trick on one of the most storied French clubs in history to ask for it. His current deal isn't up until 2024, and he's a massive bargain at £19,250, so I'm going to make it stick as long as I can without pissing him off.



Liverpool have now fired four managers in two and a half years. I cannot wait to see them get relegated despite being a supporter of real life Liverpool. They're literally the worst run team in the world in 2021. It's a crying shame, considering that the real life owner is actually quite excellent at running the teams he owns.

At Tottenham Hotspur, September 19, 2021
Premier League


This is an away match against one of the few clubs that are still outspending us 2:1, coming just two days before our Capital One Cup match with Wolverhampton. The only bright spot is that Tottenham is also playing continental soccer, meaning that they're not any more rested than we are.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Counter
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak (c), Laux, Todd, Suslov, Morvan, Petts, Nieddu, Shirra, Mujkic, Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Pejkovic, Feruga, Mair, Julio, Matko, Cardozo.

The lads show quickly that ranking us below Tottenham was a huge mistake on the part of the bookmakers. The Bastard scores in less than a minute, pouncing on his own rebound after a first chance save. Nieddu knocks another in at 13 minutes, and the crossbar denies him a second shortly thereafter. The Bastard beats Nieddu in the race to score for a second time, his giant melon making a meaty thwack against the ball when redirecting a Cirjak cross five minutes before the half.

Tottenham recover a bit when play resumes, scoring a goal at 49 minutes. That's all they get. After 70 minutes I tap on the brakes and send in the subs, and we coast to another easy victory over a well regarded team.

Man of the Match: That thick skulled bastard, Rocky Bastable




Tottenham 1-3 Wrexham



Shirra has been playing out of his mind so far this season. In 7 games he's already notched 5 goals and 5 assists. Bastable has been similarly brilliant, he's scoring a goal a game.



It's time to run out the rookies.



Turns out that Stewart Lewis is still unemployed, as is Justin Bailey. I order the scouting staff to compile reports on them and determine how much money they want. Adding them back to the team at reasonable prices would be a nice boost for the long time fans.

vs. Wolverhampton Wanderers, September 21, 2021
Capital One Cup, Third Round


I imagine Wolves fans were not pleased when they found out they'd drawn an away game against us in the League Cup. If teams don't yet fear us when it comes to cup draws, they'll soon learn to. As our players from the Tottenham match are still exhausted and mostly around 80% fitness, I'm running out an entirely different lineup for this match. Ben Dixon and Alex O'Hanlon earn a start, they're both 19 years old and I chose not to send them out on loan for the year precisely for situations like this where we're facing easy foes and I don't want to tire out our stars.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: El Sayed, Pejkovic, O'Hanlon, Feruga (c), Mejasic, Dixon, Mair, Matko, Julio, Cardozo, Aarts.
Subs: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Alvaro, Shirra, Petts, Rouissi, De Blasio.

Wolverhampton are brought before the court of El Juez. Cardozo sits in judgment and finds them wanting. The first goal comes at five minutes from Julio courtesy a Cardozo assist. Late in the first half, a Wolves defender grabs onto Cardozo and keeps him from contesting a free kick and earns us a penalty. El Juez delivers the verdict from the penalty spot, and Wolves are guilty as charged.

Wolverhampton are able to pull back a goal shortly after Daniel Matko and Dinko Mejasic are forced from the game with injuries eight minutes apart in the second half, but when El Juez is clattered by their right back he steps forward to take the free kick and dispenses his ruling off the bottom side of the crossbar and into the back of the net. Seeing that it would serve the interests of justice to score a hat trick, Cardozo scores his third goal just two minutes after his second, and Wolverhampton slink away after an epic display of jurisprudence from the young Argentine.

Man of the Match: Carlos Matias “El Juez” Cardozo




Wrexham 4-1 Wolves



We won two games in a row while fielding an entirely distinct starting 11, and are given an achievement for it. Yay achievements.



This is good news. Matko is more than a little injury prone, and he had two minor injuries before going off. I'm glad that neither of them turned out to be serious. Mejasic is also fine, and will miss no time.




Bailey and Lewis still haven't found teams to latch onto, probably because of their wage demands. I'm going to keep an eye on both of them for signing at the new year. Lewis is the less likely to return, his asking price is way too high for our fifth choice centerback, but we can afford four figures a week for ol' Justin Bailey.



We didn't get one of the remaining Championship squads and didn't get a megabastard, making this an OK outcome. We won't have to worry about Manchester United, though, as they lost to Norwich in the third round.

vs. Southampton, September 25, 2021
Premier League


President Sky Shadowing and his coach Noel Tosh.0 appear to have righted the Saint's ship. They currently sit fifth in the league after five matches. We'll need to be sharp today.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak (c), Laux, Todd, Suslov, Morvan, Petts, Nieddu, Shirra, Mujkic, Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Pejkovic, Feruga, Mair, Julio, Cardozo, Aarts.

It's a gritty game in messy weather, and referee Howard Webb is giving yellow cards for virtually every foul called. Southampton kindly scores on our behalf with a classy header from the Saints' left back finding the corner of the net from a Meteor cross. But the own goal is the only thing we have going for us deep into the game as we're scuffing our chances and playing poorly. I yank a knackered Nieddu for El Juez at 65 minutes, and shortly thereafter things go to hell.

With 13 minutes remaining Southampton scores an equalizer from a corner where our lackadaisical marking allows them to pass the ball with ease in the six yard box. I grunt in disappointment, we'll have to settle for a draw. Five minutes later and my grunt is one of being sucker punched, we're caught out of position on a counter attack and have surely pissed away the game.

It's always darkest before dawn, and we still have justice on our side. Less than 70 seconds later El Juez is dashing forward, chests a pass by Bastable past the last defender, and blasts it past the keeper to bring us back to a tie. At least we'll salvage a draw, I think. We don't. In the 86th minute Suslov lofts a cross towards the net, which Shirra cannot reach but which the Southampton goalie can only knock up in the air. The ball rises and falls towards the Southampton left back, and Shirra is out of position to make a second effort. Then, at the last second, a shadow looms over the 5'7” Southampton defender. He never had a chance, giving up over half a foot to the Bastard of Wrexham. Bastable's leap carries first the ball and himself into the goal, and the day is ours.

Man of the Match: Oleg Suslov




Wrexham 3-2 Southampton

vs. Valencia, September 29, 2021
Champions League, Group B


Valencia beat Schalke in their first group stage game, and are unbeaten in La Liga, sitting in second place on goal differential. But we're at home, and a win here puts us atop the group with six points. We should win.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak (c), Laux, Todd, Suslov, Mair, Petts, Nieddu, Shirra, Mujkic, Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Pejkovic, Feruga, Morvan, Julio, Cardozo, Aarts.

After twenty minutes we've got a significant possession advantage, but Valencia's defense has been excellent and allowed us to create just two shots. When they score due to lax marking from our defenders just before 30 minutes have elapsed, the one goal deficit looms before us like a mountain. We keep battering away at Los Ches, hitting the post just after play resumes in the second half, but I'm getting the feeling that they're just letting us punch ourselves out. We finally earn the equalizer when Chris Todd crashes the near post during a corner kick with less than 20 minutes remaining. It's enough to get us a point, but this time we can't muster a late winning goal. We put a pathetic 4 of our 16 shots on goal, and drop desperately needed points at home.

Man of the Match: Richard Petts




Wrexham 1-1 Valencia



That's not shabby scratch for a draw.



McLeod and Manchester United are back to taunt us. Congratulations on stomping three relegation prospects, we were too busy topping Tottenham and Southampton to run up quite as nice a goal differential. Guess we'll just have to settle for being two points clear of everyone else atop the table. How sad for us.



We're undefeated in both the Premier and Champions Leagues. Of the six teams we've played in the Premiership so far none are below mid-table, our current table topping record has been built against good opposition. Meanwhile we sit at four points in our Champions League group, while Schalke and Marseille have just a point each. Things are going very well, but exhaustion is a major concern, especially given the last two matches.




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