Part 127: Chapter the Ninth: ♪How much is that kid in the window?♫
Chapter the Ninth: ♪How much is that kid in the window?♫February 28, 2022-April 1, 2022
We're scheduled for five straight home matches. We can use it as a springboard to regain our balance in the Premiership, as well as advance in both the FA Cup and the Champions League. If we get through this month alive in all competitions we're going to be closing in on a potential triple.
Our performance when we've been on TV hasn't been great, even taking into account that most of our opposition has been strong. Against smaller reputation sides we've got two wins (both against Swansea) and two draws (against Reading and Aston Villa). That's not great, considering we've won almost two thirds of our matches so far.
I doubt Chelsea's fans and owner will be happy with just winning the League Cup if they don't also finish top four.
That's an almost insultingly small amount of money. Proof positive that no one cares about the League Cup.
vs. Liverpool, March 1, 2022
Premier League
We've got just one win in our last four league matches, while Liverpool are one of two teams to have beaten us in the Premier League this season. That's one of only six wins for the Reds, they're sitting perilously close to the relegation zone.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Pejkovic, Feruga, Todd, Suslov, Morvan, Petts, Nieddu, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Mejasic, Laux, Mair, Julio, Taborda, Cardozo.
We're taking plenty of shots, but not making any of them count. Bastable puts the ball in the back of the net twice, and is twice adjudged offside. We keep pressing, though, and are finally rewarded two minutes into the first half stoppage time with a Golden Boy goal after Mujkic deaked two defenders to set him up. Shirra and Mujkic combine for a second goal just before an hour has passed, sending the capacity crowd into raptures. We finally beat a team that we're supposed to, and never looked like losing in the process.
Man of the Match: Scott Shirra
Wrexham 2-0 Liverpool
Not quite, Wrexham went twenty games without a loss from January through November 1902. If we don't lose to either Bradford or Watford, we'll match that streak and have a chance of breaking it against Bayern. Regardless of how much longer this run lasts it's a wonderful accomplishment.
vs. Bradford, March 6, 2022
FA Cup, Sixth Round
Our youth squad would be even odds to beat Bradford at this point. I'm not going to completely rest our regulars, but now's a good chance to see how some of the kids do. United, City, and Stoke are all through to the semis already, obviously if we get by Bradford I'm hoping for Stoke in the semi-final.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: El Sayed, Pejkovic, Feruga (c), O'Hanlon, Mejasic, Morvan, Petts, Argenti, Rouissi, Taborda, Cardozo.
Subs: Kovacevic, Laux, Alvaro, Dixon, Bailey, Mujkic, De Blasio.
Despite having the ball two-thirds of the time it takes over half an hour for us to get a shot off, and that isn't even on target. It's not like Bradford is threatening us, but it's frustrating to watch these minnows stonewall us. I open up the game, telling our players to stop faffing about with the short passing and run at our opponents. It works, to an extent. We have plenty of chances and send the ball off the posts and crossbar on three occasions, but we still don't put Bradford away. We're forced into a replay, a humiliating result given the disparity in stature between our clubs.
Man of the Match: Dinko Mejasic
Wrexham 0-0 Bradford
Hey, ol' Danny Higgs made a team of the week.
Our youth system is starting to look barren as the players I purchased three years ago age out of the U18s. It's time to spend a few million quid to restock the farm, we don't want our pretty new facilities going to waste.
vs. Watford, March 13, 2022
Premier League
Watford are only a point out above the bottom three. Beating them will allow us to still have a realistic chance to catch Manchester City for the title.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Pejkovic, Laux, Todd, Suslov, Morvan, Petts, Nieddu, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Mejasic, Feruga, Mair, Julio, Taborda, Cardozo.
Things aren't going as planned, as Watford have more chances through 30 minutes. This will simply not do. Our front four are doing nothing, and haven't looked like a threat all game. That doesn't resolve itself despite tactical tweaks, the closest we have to a goal is Nieddu being called offside (he was) and having a goal called back in the 58th minute. I bring on Taborda and Cardozo for Mujkic and Bastable, hoping the fresh legs will help. It doesn't. Shirra and Mujkic each have their worst games of the season as we squander every opportunity that comes our way. We may not have lost in a score of matches, but we've only won six of our last fourteen. We're watching our Premier League title aspirations fall away, with seven games remaining we're five points back of Manchester City.
Man of the Match: Oleg Suslov
Wrexham 0-0 Watford
We need the influx of foreign teens. Our youth academy is not producing even Premier League talent, much less the Champions League talent we could use at this point. I might need to find a new youth director and shake things up.
By the time I'm done we'll have a whole new squad in the Youth Barn.
Petts and Laux are both due to earn their first caps, they're the only senior team players I haven't asked to play just 45 minutes a match. I'm especially excited for Petts, he's never once played for England at any level and it's quite an accomplishment for him to make the team at the age of 25.
vs. Bayern Munich, March 16, 2022
Champions League, First Knockout Round Home Leg
I'd like to think we're safe to advance given a two goal lead, but the way we've played the last two matches is execrable.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Feruga, Todd, Suslov, Mair, Shirra, Nieddu, Taborda, Mujkic (c), Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Pejkovic, Dixon, Petts, Matko, Cardozo.
Bayern nearly halve our lead in the first minute, but their striker misses a sitter. Taborda nearly extends our lead moments later, but clanks a free kick off the post. This match won't lack for excitement. We do a solid job of controlling play and preventing Bayern from breaking out, but it's still only a 2-0 lead with 30 to play after Bastable misses a chance at 57 minutes. I'm starting to get nervous. I shouldn't be.
Meteor breaks out of his slump with a goal from an extremely narrow angle that floats above the keeper and into the side netting inside the far post in the 64th minute. It's a good thing he added to our lead as Bayern finally strike for a goal of their own just minutes later. The German megabastards fight valiantly to the end, but we resolutely hold them off and march into the quarterfinals with quite a scalp to add to our trophy collection.
Wrexham (3) 1-(1) 1 Bayern
Laux and Feruga will have to suffice in the first match we play against whoever's next.
And we'll get even more from the quarterfinals.
Sure, keep on underestimating us. Just like Bayern did. I wonder who we'll draw. Porto and PSV are the two easiest draws, while Real Madrid would be the hardest team we could face.
Rodrigo Jiminez is the 23 year old, £39m rated “midfield general” of Bayern Munich. He thinks I'm an amazing coach. If he wouldn't cost three arms and four legs in transfer fees, and over 20% of our wage budget besides, I'd be very interested in signing him.
We've spent £2.1m so far on teen players, with all but the Netherlands and Spain already picked over.
Fourth time's the charm? This is the most protracted club sale I've ever witnessed.
Well that's a tough ask. Real Madrid have only lost four matches all season across all competitions, and haven't lost a match since a 2-1 defeat to Valencia in the away leg of their Copa del Ray quarterfinal in January. That's not to sell ourselves short, we've only lost five times all season and our last loss was to Manchester City all the way back in 2021, but while I thought we had a real chance to topple Bayern Munich beating Real Madrid would be a shock and a half.
Damn you Paul Elliot! This puts Bastable out for the home leg against Real Madrid! And of course he played the full 90 minutes, as did Mujkic. I hate you, Australia. I hate you so much.
Congratulations, Mattias. I expect you'll be a starting centerback for Germany for a decade to come. Sadly, Petts did not get into a game and remains uncapped for England.
vs. Derby County, March 26, 2022
Premier League
Can we please win a danged game? We've drawn three matches in a row, against opposition as varied as Bradford and Bayern. Derby's sitting in 12th place right now and we beat them the last two times we've played, but at this point no final score would surprise me.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Todd, Mejasic, Morvan, Petts, Nieddu (c), Julio, Taborda, Cardozo.
Subs: El Sayed, Pejkovic, O'Hanlon, Dixon, Bailey, Matko, Aarts.
This is more like it. We take an early lead in the 12th minute when Julio plunks in a Wrexham-seeking cross from Taborda, and then 20 minutes later Taborda makes it 2-0 when the Derby keeper deflects a Nieddu shot directly to him for an easy finish. The lads stay sharp in the second half despite the firm lead, and their hard work pays off in Julio's second goal, this time set up by Nieddu. Dimitri caps the thrashing with an opportunistic effort in the 89th minute when he's first to a ball that had been swept away from El Juez. It's an excellent victory, and we take care of business against midtable opponents for the first time in what seems like ages.
Man of the Match: Julio
Wrexham 4-0 Derby
Congratulations on the modern day record, Bailey. You're a long way from catching Arfon Griffin and his 592 league appearances, though, and you'll be overtaken by Mujkic (currently at 192 league appearances) at some point next year. Meteor actually has more total appearances, 260 to Bailey's 252, thanks to the greater number of continental and cup matches he's gotten into.
Maybe all my whining had an effect on the producers.
It's been a while since the team of the week was rife with Dragons.
vs. Real Madrid, March 30, 2022
Champions League, Quarterfinal Home Leg
Well, this should be interesting. We drew 1-1 with Real Madrid all the way back in the pre-season at the Bernabeu, but that was just a friendly. If we can come away with any sort of result to give us hope for the second leg it will be huge.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Feruga, Suslov, Morvan, Petts, Nieddu, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Cardozo.
Subs: El Sayed, Pejkovic, O'Hanlon, Mair, Julio, Taborda, Aarts.
Dimitri Nieddu doesn't make the home fans wait long, scoring less than 120 seconds into the match with a second effort goal after his first shot bounced straight into the air off of Cristian Reartes, the best defensive midfielder in the world. Nieddu tracked it and laced it out of the air before it hit the ground for the goal. Scott Shirra follows up Nieddu's effort with a “magical” goal in the 14th minute, beating the center back on the break and scoring after a Meteor pass.
They're Real Madrid for a reason, though. Reigning and two time Ballon d'Or holder Mattias Mercado pulls one back on the counter attack in the first half, and the Spaniards come out firing when play resumes in the second. But our victory is sealed in the 62nd minute when the same centerback who was burned by Shirra holds down Mattias Laux during a corner. Shirra coolly converts for his second goal of the day, and it'd 3-1 Wrexham. We can't take complete confidence or comfort in our victory, though. Real Madrid score a second away goal in stoppage time, once more from Mattias Mercado.
Wrexham 3-2 Real Madrid
We're going to need to play brilliantly to advance, if we lose even 1-0 we'll be out due to Real Madrid's away goals in the last match. Things would be much more in hand had we been able to hold onto the 3-1 lead. It seems churlish to complain, we just beat Real friggin' Madrid in a Champions League quarterfinal game.
That does it for youth signings. We spent a total of £2.2m on eight players, all of whom we control for at least the next five years. All of them will be capable of holding down at least a rotation role if they develop reasonably quickly and the sale of just one of them should pay back what we spent on the lot.
Manchester City is going to need to drop two of their next six games while we win out (including a home match against Arsenal and a trip to Manchester United) if we're to win the league, but qualifying for the Champions League looks a lock. We've still got Bradford City to put away in the FA Cup, and it'll have to be on the backs of our youth and reserves given that we play the away leg of the Champions League quarterfinal in six days. But we did what we needed to against Real Madrid, and with luck we'll be through to the semis. If that happens, who knows how things will turn out. It's April Fools and we're alive in three competitions. We haven't lost since the calendar read 2021, and we broke a 120 year old record for longest unbeaten streak. Can you feel the excitement?
