Part 137: Chapter the Fifth: A rookie mistake.

Chapter the Fifth: A rookie mistake.
October 31, 2022-December 5, 2022

There are some benefits to crashing out of the League Cup early, and it's reflected in having a full week off between matches late in November. Moreover, the United States doesn't participate in the November international period, so I don't have any additional games to manage. This makes it seem like it would be a pretty quiet month, but I'm going to spend a bunch of it pulling strings to make sure Bastable isn't dragged off to Southeast Asia and made to play in front of tiny crowds in a tournament that is almost certainly rigged by gambling syndicates.



Laux picks up his second Young Player of the Month award, he's coming along quite nicely. He's still slow, but so long as he's matched with Todd or Feruga I can have him play deeper in a covering role.



Even Newcastle's last gasp equalizer can't keep me from a second consecutive Manager of the Month award.

At PSV Eindhoven, November 1, 2022
Champions League, Group B


We win this match and we advance to the knockout round, it's as simple as that. But our back line is looking makeshift, and this is definitely not our best starting 11. The toll of injuries and fatigue are showing.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, O'Hanlon, Feruga (c), Suslov, Mair, Petts, Argenti, Julio, Cardozo, Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Loseille, Todd, Morvan, Bailey, Collett, Aarts.

Our effort to control possession isn't happening, so we start playing more men behind the ball and seeking to win via counter-attack. We take the lead on a set piece where a PSV player makes a terrible header into his own net, but they come right back at us. Kovasevic makes multiple great saves in a row, but they finally get one that even he can't stop.

Suslov is injured in the 57th minute, and if it's serious we'll be reduced to two healthy fullbacks. We have late chances to win the match, with Argenti smashing the crossbar at 80 minutes and Collett blowing a chance in stoppage time. A draw leaves us in good shape to advance, we just need to beat club Brugge and we'll have sealed second place.




PSV 1-1 Wrexham



I'm thankful for not being allowed to set up friendlies during this international period, I could use a couple weeks where I don't have multiple games to play.



With 15 Anticipation and 14 Off the Ball movement, he should be able to do some good work with this preferred move. His 11 Concentration might hinder that, though.

vs. Sheffield United, November 5, 2022
Premier League


I bet Sheffield Wednesday supporters are so jealous of Sheffield United this year.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Todd, Suslov, Morvan, Bailey (c), Argenti, Collet, Taborda, Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Loseille, Feruga, Hammatt, Petts, Julio, Cardozo.

Matty Collett scores 38 seconds into the match, it's his first goal for the team in his 12th match. Bastable adds a second with his 100th league goal for Wrexham on a nice move that gets him free in front of the net thanks to a Bailey assist in the 9th minute, then two minutes later scores his 101st after a serious miscue by the Sheffield United centerback allows him to get the ball with no one between him and goal. We threaten plenty more times after the early deluge, but don't add to our total. It doesn't matter, Sheffield United couldn't have come back had we played an entire additional game after the final whistle blew.

Man of the Match: Rock the Bastard.




Wrexham 3-0 Sheffield United

The Racecourse Grounds
November 8, 2022

(The COACH is addressing the entire staff and both the senior and youth teams)

: To sum up. Bastable can't be kidnapped if Paul Elliots agents don't know what he looks like. So we're going to have a team sleepover/makeover!

: I dunno about this...

: It'll work, mate!

: Boss, don't ever try to do an Ozzie accent again. Also, why do I have to change my hair style? I'm not getting called up for this.

: Why all of us, too? I'm a youth team player!

: Mateo, Kais, it's a team building exercise. We grow closer through the things that we do together, and that closeness helps us know each other when we're on the pitch.

(COACH pulls out a wide brimmed hat, and speaks again in a terrible Australian accent)

: Now, I've got to go see some galah about a drop bear down by the billabong this arvo.

(Those sitting near them can hear whimpers of pain from BASTABLE and MUJKIC as the COACH strolls off the stage)



: No! Now they'll refer to me as the Ayatollah-of-getting-screwed-over!



Easy as pie.

The Racecourse Grounds
November 10, 2022

(COACH is addressing the PLAYERS at the daily Team Meeting)

: OK everyone, good work. We've got a meeting with a stylist academy scheduled for tomorrow to return everything to normal. Looking forward to that, Bailey?

: I dunno, I think I like my new style. What do you think, Rock?

: Me too. But Argenti's hair is definitely the best. Especially considering he used to be bald!

(ARGENTI stops brushing his luxurious locks and looks up dazed by its sheen)

: Did someone mention my name?

(The door flies open and CARDOZO stumbles in, weeping)

: ¡Injusticia! ¡Mira! My hair!



Only four first team players are healthy and at the club currently. At least Julio, Bastable, Bailey, and Petts have enough people to play Settlers of Catan. They stopped inviting me to play when I demanded resources to in exchange for not dropping them from the starting 11.



Damnit, damnit, damnit. Nash was eligible to represent the United States, but the prior managers never tried to butter him up. By the time I got to him Germany had invited him to their U20 team. I was holding out hope that they wouldn't cap him for a long while and we'd still be able to lure him away, but now he's part of Die Mannschaft until the end.



At least we're back to moving up the rankings, though it'll be slow going seeing as we only have two international matches in the next 8 months.



One player comes back from the trainers room.



And another one enters. I should put in a revolving door to save energy.



AJ_Impy is eligible for one more term. I'll hold the election in January if he loses this election.



This is very bad. With Kovacevic out and El Sayed still on international duty we're going to need to start a youth keeper against Aston Villa in two days.

At Aston Villa, November 19, 2022
Premier League


It's actually worse than starting a youth keeper. I didn't realize that El Sayed would be away until the day of this match, and by that point our youth squad had already played and were unavailable to be selected in the match day squad. We're literally starting kids picked out of our section of the stands. Ibra Hinton and Fabien Clarke, come on down for your 15 minutes of fame. Try not to be too overwhelmed.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Hinton, Reed, Laux, Todd, Suslov, Bailey (c), Morvan, Argenti, Shirra, Taborda, Bastable.
Subs: Clarke, Loseille, Hammatt, Mair, Julio, Collett, Cardozo.

Aston Villa take advantage of my huge mistake, and score twice before half an hour has elapsed. We're peppering the Villa goal, but their keeper is an actual professional and is standing on his head. That pattern continues through the second half, and we concede yet again in the 65th minute. It's a mind blowing loss, and I'll rightly take the heat for the keeper kerfuffle. But we should have been able to score at least three ourselves, our offense needed to pick us up today and completely failed to do so. This is three dropped points that could loom large come the end of the season.




Villa 3-0 Wrexham



And now we have no right backs. Loseille is slightly more comfortable there, so it's going to be him, age 17, playing against Real Madrid and Manchester United.



How are none of our young players in contention for this? I'm guessing it's a reputation thing, but it's still surprising.

vs. Real Madrid, November 23, 2022
Champions League, Group B


A win here guarantees our passage through the group, a draw will make it very likely that we go through as PSV will have to play Real Madrid in their final group match while we go to Belgium.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: El Sayed, Loseille, Laux, Todd, Suslov, Morvan, Bailey (c), Collett, Shirra, Cardozo, Bastable.
Subs: Kovacevic, Feruga, Hammatt, Mair, Argenti, Taborda, Aarts.

Bastable sends the crowd into raptures in the 15th minute with a headed goal. He does it again five minutes later. When halftime comes I push the team to stay focused and keep fighting regardless of the scoreline, and the team comes motivated, setting up a Collett goal that gives us a three-nil advantage almost immediately. Bastable twice more puts the ball in the back of the net in the second half, but in his eagerness finds himself offside both times. He doesn't get his hat trick, but we win handily against one of the best teams in the world.

Man of the Match: Rocky Bastable




Wrexham 3-0 Real Madrid



We could actually win the group if we beat Club Brugge and Real Madrid draw or lose against PSV.



I guess the traveling Madrid fans could find their way to Wolverhampton more easily than Wrexham.




Good lad. Plus, you've been getting time on the pitch; you've already played as many matches as you did last year.



Not a true lower league challenge, but a Championship opponent plus home field advantage will allow us to advance easily.

At Manchester United, November 30, 2022
Premier League


United are having a down year, for them, currently only in fifth and six points off the league lead. They're still dangerous, but I think we can take at least four points from our visits to the Manchesters.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Loseille, Laux, Todd, Suslov, Bailey (c), Morvan, Argenti, Shirra, Taborda, Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Feruga, Hammatt, Mair, Julio, Collett, Cardozo.

Man United give us the runaround in the first half, and I have to abandon my strategy of whacking them about for one that's more cautious. They can't score, and we're not giving them good chances. Unfortunately they get what they deserve in the 49th minute, and we're in trouble. The day is saved when Rodrigo Taborda finally announces the end of his slump with a 30 yard free kick golazo late in the match. We don't deserve a point from this game, but we still get one.

Man of the Match: El Compadrito




Man Utd 1-1 Wrexham



I have a vote! None of our guys are shortlisted, which is just crazy. Thus I'm forced to vote for players on other teams. My first place vote goes to Dutch and Manchester City forward Mark Bloem (AU Memphis Depay), who's a simply incredible goal creator. He scored 24 goals in 47 matches, third most out of any shortlisted player, but the real reason he goes first is that he also had an insane 31 assists. That's just out of this world.

I'm still irritated about the lack of respect we're getting, Real Madrid had seven players shortlisted and even players from Brazilian clubs Corinthians and Flamengo were shortlisted.



You're under contract until 2026, and you're an excellent goalkeeper. I'm not going to sell you.

vs. Liverpool, December 3, 2022
Premier League


As I've noted, they're terrible again. They're currently in 19th place, and I want to see them relegated.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: El Sayed, Loseille, Hammatt, O'Hanlon, Feruga, Bailey (c), Mair, Collett, Julio, Taborda, Cardozo.
Subs: Kovacevic, Suslov, Laux, Morvan, Shirra, Argenti, Aarts.

We get one goal right at the start when Alex O'Hanlon scores from a corner, and then pile pressure onto Liverpool for the rest of the half. I tell the players to not get complacent. They don't, and we score in the 49th minute on a cheeky Taborda chip over the keeper who had come off his line. Things go from bad to worse for the Reds when they have a man sent off in the 80th minute, allowing substitute Bram Aarts to bag a brace in the final ten minutes, and despite giving up a short handed goal we never looked like losing.

Man of the Match: Bram Aarts




Wrexham 4-1 Liverpool




We're back to having four natural fullbacks! James Loseille delivered leal service in the absence of Cirjak and Reed, holding his own against players from two megabastards.



Arsenal blew their game against Leeds, which puts them behind us on the table with an equal number of matches played. That leaves us behind Man City on goal differential with a game in hand. We've breezed through the Champions League group stage, and have a chance to win the group should we beat Brugge and Real Madrid don't overcome PSV. Our squad is getting healthier, and we have a number of players who can step in when our top players are in a poor run of form. All that, and new hairdos!

I still feel embarrassed that we lost to Aston Villa because I forgot to have a decent keeper available, though. That could loom large when the end of the season rolls around.




Remember to vote!