Part 139: Interlude: GQ: The New Face of Football.

Interlude: GQ: The New Face of Football
January 1, 2023

(Archived web slideshow supplement from a GQ article on the 2022-2023 Wrexham club, featuring the new styles of the Welsh upstarts.)

The Good

Scott Brown
40 years old
Manager
From to
Brown always looks good, and even if he didn't would it be wise to raise the ire of a God-King?

Paul Williams
42 years old
Assistant Manager
From to
Brown's right hand man challenges him in the adonis department, growing an impressive mane.

Piero Argenti
19 years old
Forward
From to
The only thing improving as quickly as the teen phenom's looks is his skill at the game.

Tonci Cirjak
24 years old
Right Back
From to
Cirjak is known to have learned English in part by trying to defend his former hair style.

Matty Collett
24 years old
Forward
From to
More of a side-grade than an upgrade, the former Arsenal man looks good either way.

Ibrahim El Sayed
25 years old
Goalkeeper
From to
Why was he keeping his girlfriends from dating that excellent hair?

Ed Hammatt
20 years old
Centerback
From to
We like the braids, especially on a man nearly two meters tall.

Vid Kovacevic
27 years old
Goalkeeper
From to
Kovacevic's style results in a clean sheet and clean look.

James Loseille
18 years old
Fullback
From to
The French teen has clipped his dreads and gone with a tight caesar that suits him well.

Alex O'Hanlon
20 years old
Centerback
From to
With age comes a credible haircut.

Oleg Suslov
25 years old
Left Back
From to
Both styles suit the aggressive wingback.

The Bad

Bram Aarts
21 years old
Striker
From to
The young Belgian looked better before his new style, but he's been playing more regularly and scoring more often since the change.

Justin Bailey
28 years old
Midfielder, Vice Captain
From to
We'll miss the long time Wrexham man's disheveled look, but we're glad to see he's no longer looking green at the gills.

Ben Dixon
20 years old
Defensive Midfielder
From to
The midfielder seems to have put on a bit of weight over the past year, and his hairdo isn't helping any.

Matthias Laux
21 years old
Centerback
From to
This proves that Germans may be great at football, but aren't so much for style.

Patrice Morvan
22 years old
Midfielder
From to
We withhold the right to revise upward when his beard comes in.

Mateo Mujkic
25 years old
Left Wing, Captain
From to
It's not that the Australian superstar looks bad with his flowing locks, it's that he doesn't look nearly as good as he used to.

Shahed Parr
24 years old
Right Wing
From to
Parr's had months to work on his 'do, and this is the best he can manage. As the older generation says, SMH.

Richard Petts
26 years old
Midfield
From to
Someone is overdue for a trip to the barber.

Rodrigo Taborda
23 years old
Left Wing
From to
El Compadrito's 'do is looking a bit fraught.

The Ugly

Rocky Bastable
26 years old
Striker
From to
This isn't hockey. Long in the back and short in the front doesn't cut it here!

Carlos Matias Cardozo
22 years old
Striker
From to
Dios mio! No wonder he kept his head shaved!

Wojciech Feruga
26 years old
Centerback
From to
The Polish punisher could have a much better look with only a little effort.

Julio
24 years old
Midfielder
From to
Nothing good can be said about a man with an underneck beard, no matter the flair they play with.

Stuart Mair
24 years old
Midfielder
From to
Mair was photographed immediately after being awoken from a nap, we believe that and not a misshapen skull, is why his hair looks as it does.

Steve Reed
20 years old
Right Back
From to
Hair A, Soul Patch F.

Scott Shirra
22 years old
Midfielder
From to
We can only guess that this was a result of a bet between teammates.

Chris Todd
23 years old
Centerback
From to
The Welsh international stated to us that he still gets his hair done in Wrexham.