Part 141: Chapter the Eighth: Chasing what can't be caught.

Chapter the Eighth: Chasing what can't be caught.
February 1, 2023-March 1, 2023

Our EPL schedule is soft, with matches against Southampton, Leeds, Newcastle, and Stoke. That's good, because we've got Arsenal in the FA Cup and the home leg of our Champions League tie with Juventus. It's entirely possible that we're going to be out of the FA Cup, all but out of the Champions League, and stuck hoping for a fourth place finish by the end of this month, which would be a huge miss and the first season where we were obviously worse than the season prior.



At least some of our players were good last month. Reed and Hammatt are both looking like keepers, I just need to be patient and keep them around long enough to blossom.



Australia goes out to South Korea in the Semifinals after a 2-1 loss in extra time. The game featured 11 (!) yellow cards between the two sides, but no one was sent off. South Korea will face Saudi Arabia in the finals.



If I were the board I'd just pay off the loan in full, but it's not a burden on our month to month finances.



This is only because we're playing Arsenal, isn't it?

At Southampton, February 4, 2023
Premier League


Sorry, Sky Shadowing, I don't think you're going to escape relegation this year. Meanwhile, we've fallen into fourth place, with Chelsea right on our heels and a full 8 points back of Manchester City.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Todd, Suslov, Mair, Bailey (c), Collett, Taborda, Stringel.
Subs: El Sayed, Reed, Hammatt, Morvan, Petts, Argenti, Aarts.

I'm going to give you one guess as to which of our players scored first. Who else but Matty Collett in the first ten minutes? He keeps paying dividends even when he doesn't score himself as we're awarded a penalty when he's barged from behind during a free kick. Shirra converts to make it two-nil after half an hour. The Golden Boy then scores from open play with a well timed run onto a low cross from Collett early in the second half. It's at that point that Southampton finally show some fight, but it's far too little too late, and each of their attacks break against the indomitable Laux.

Man of the Match: Scott Shirra




Southampton 0-3 Wrexham



Turns out Liverpool is owned by Englishmen, not Americans. I'd guess that the club began its tailspin when AU-John Henry sold the club, because they twice made the Champions League before their recent awfulness. They're a good bet to get relegated, so I hope the businessmen don't spend too much on the club.



We're lucky that Argenti and Collett have both been very good this season, otherwise the loss of Parr for almost the entire season could have really hurt us. Meanwhile, Dimitri Nieddu has been a complete bust for Milan, scoring just twice in twenty-five matches. I'm not sure what it is about our right wing that turns players into scoring machines, but I'm guessing it has something to do with Mujkic being amazing.



Defense wins championships.

vs. Stoke City, February 7, 2023
Premier League


Stoke are in 6th place, but are a full 10 points behind us and 18 points behind Manchester City. They're closer to 17th place than 1st. We're going to need to win this without our best 11, our FA Cup showdown with Arsenal is later this week and I want our first team rested and ready for that.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: El Sayed, Reed, Todd, Hammatt, Loseille, Morvan, Petts, Argenti, Julio, Taborda, Aarts.
Subs: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Mair, Bailey, Collett, Stringel.

We're denied a clear penalty shout early, but take the lead when Taborda scores his third goal in what's been a tough, injury plagued campaign for him thus far. Julio makes it two-nil in the 27th minute, courtesy a Loseille assist. It's a good thing that Loseille has something positive in the ledger, because he makes a huge mistake in the 69th minute, gifting the Stoke striker a 1v1 against El Sayed with an errant back pass. It's the only good chance Stoke gets all day, as we stay composed and see out the match.




Wrexham 2-1 Stoke



A pity that we're paying rent at the Molineux, otherwise this would be a good chunk of income for us. The renovations to the Racecourse Ground won't be done until May 5th, which means that we'll have only one home game there before the season ends.

vs. Arsenal, February 11, 2023
FA Cup, Fifth Round


We need to win this game, the last thing we want is a replay in North London. Our Aussie duo is finally back, you can trace the trouble we had in January in large part to their absence.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Todd, Suslov, Morvan, Petts, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Reed, Hammatt, Mair, Julio, Taborda, Argenti.

Arsenal can't cope with us, and we have a 2:1 possession advantage after the first half, having not allowed them a shot. They've been able to bunker down, though, and it's nil-nil when they hit us at the very start of the second half. We can't answer over the next 20 minutes and it's starting to look like another undeserved defeat. Bastable has had an especially poor game, and he's removed for Argenti after an hour.

Thankfully, our statistical dominance eventually pays off. We get the equalizer when the Golden Boy is allowed to run onto the ball at the top of the box with all the time in the world after a corner with less than twenty minutes remaining. We get the winner when Argenti is sprung by Shirra and lashes a side heel surprise into the far corner with less than ten minutes left. It's a good, late rally, and we take our revenge upon Arsenal.

Man of the Match: Scott Shirra




Wrexham 2-1 Arsenal



That record won't get broken for a while, as the Racecourse Ground will only seat 25,000 or so.



Our reward for beating Arsenal is another lower league side. We'll have to travel to Wigan, but this is much better than being put up against Chelsea or one of the Manchesters.



The “dictates tempo” preferred move means that Shirra will alter his style of play based around what he sees as optimal for the moment in the game, whether that be getting the side to play with more urgency or holding up the ball and retaining possession. He'll do this even if I'm ordering the team to play a different style. As such it requires great creativity and decision-making along with good anticipation and passing technique to work well. Shirra has all of those things (17 Creativity, 16 Decisions, 18 Passing, 15 Anticipation) and this should make him an even more devastating playmaker than he already is.



I wonder if this would mean the end of sugar-daddy status for City. I can only hope that the new owners are secretly Tom Hicks and George Gillett in disguise. Or the current owners of Liverpool.

At Leeds United, February 18, 2023
Premier League


We travel to Elland Road three days before our match with Juventus. Leeds is in 15th and should be a fairly easy opponent. Ergo, a whole bunch of squad rotation occurs.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: El Sayed, Reed, Laux, Feruga, Suslov, Mair, Bailey (c), Argenti, Shirra, Taborda, Bastable.
Subs: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Hammatt, Morvan, Julio, Collett, Aarts.

We take the lead when Argenti springs the offside trap on a free kick. He's all alone with the keeper, who fails to come off his line. It's one-zip after 8 minutes. Then, finally, we're on the receiving end of a gift penalty. Shirra converts, and I'm thanking the football gods for finally giving us one back.

The game rapidly devolves into a rout. Argenti and Shirra combine for Argenti's second goal, and it's 3-0 in the 27th minute. Then Taborda makes it 4-0 before halftime. Then we're granted another penalty right after the start of the second half, and once again it was a poor call that goes in our favor. Argenti takes it, and scores his hat trick. It's not all fun and games, Argenti is hurt with just over 35 minutes remaining. I also pull Shirra and Bastable not long after Argenti's departure to keep them fresh and healthy for Juventus. Leeds score two late thanks to our complacency, but thanks to our crisp finishing and the ref we earn a convincing victory.

Man of the Match: Piero Argenti




Leeds 2-5 Wrexham



He's racked up 13 goals in 21 starts and 31 total matches for us this season. Most of those goals came during his blazing hot streak to start the season, but I expect him to be an important player for us in the coming years as he only just turned 20. As such it's a real pity that he'll be out for the next month.



I'll be happy to pay that, Laux has been a rock at the heart of our defense and our most consistent centerback. There's a reason why Real Madrid were offering over £31m for him, and it's not because he's AU-David Luiz.

vs. Juventus, February 21, 2023
Champions League Knockout Round


Hopefully they'll get banned for match fixing again (which occurred in the mid-aughts as a result of the Calciopoli scandal), and we'll automatically advance to the next round. More realistically, we need a good result here if we want to have a chance of advancing to the quarterfinals for a second straight year.



That's the first time I've ever seen that formation. I guess it's essentially a 3-5-2, with the wingbacks providing width. It seems like it would be pretty narrow and potentially susceptible to the fact that we try to stretch the field wide with our wingers and wingbacks, but I can see how it could be a real pain in the ass on the counter.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Todd, Suslov, Morvan, Petts, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Reed, Feruga, Bailey, Julio, Taborda, Stringel.

Juventus makes for a tough nut to crack, they're packing the penalty area with 9 players, but Collett is able to put us ahead in the 17th minute when Petts delivers a perfect cross to the far post. Bastable misses an opportunity to double our advantage, and he's left to ponder what might have been. Instead it's Collett who makes it two-nil just before the half on the rebound from a Mujkic free kick. That's the score come the final whistle, as Juventus scuffs their chances in the second half to pick up an away goal, clanking their best one off the crossbar. If we can score a single time in Turin we're almost certain to advance to the quarterfinals.

Man of the Match: Matty Collett




Wrexham 2-0 Juventus



Bayern and Napoli have crushed the dreams of Milan and Ajax, while Chelsea, Wolfsburg and ourselves are in good shape to advance over Roma, Juve, and Real Madrid. Beyond that it's still up in the air as to who else will make the quarterfinal. I'm pulling for Sevilla, Marseilles, and Celtic- any one of those is a matchup where we'd be heavily favored.






Canada came and asked for a friendly between our U20 teams, which reminded me that I had friendlies to arrange for the national squad. We'll be playing one crazy tough match and one game that we should win in both the September and October international periods, if we can top either Germany or Mexico it will be an impressive feat. Meanwhile the U20 squad has been invited to the Toulon tournament, where representatives from each confederation have their young players face off. Doing well there is a sign that young Americans might turn into something special.

vs. Newcastle United, February 25, 2023
Premier League


Manchester City haven't lost in 17 Premier League matches, taking 41 of 51 possible points. If they don't start losing a couple matches it doesn't matter how well we finish the season, we're not going to be able to catch them. On the other hand, we've built a 9 point lead over Chelsea, making us a safe bet to return to the Champions League next year. We'll take another step towards that by beating midtable Newcastle, who are on pace to slightly improve their results from last year.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Suslov, Morvan, Petts, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Bastable.
Subs: El Sayed, Cirjak, Todd, Mair, Bailey, Taborda, Aarts.

Bastable knocks one in for the first time in the four games he's been back, and thus the first time since December, during the 4th minute to open the game. Collett then batters the keeper with three attempts in quick succession, putting it home the third time around to make it two-nothing. It's his 17th goal of the season, an impressive amount given that he didn't have any in his first three months with the club.

Come the second half Collett goes off the post and crossbar start of the second half, and that's just two of the four times we hit woodwork. We keep piling up chances, but don't add any goals. That makes it a bit more hectic when Newcastle score just before stoppage time, but we keep our cool and our advantage holds up as we secure our sixth win in a row.

Man of the Match: Matty Collett




Wrexham 2-1 Newcastle



We have a week off before our next match, and it's against Wigan, so this shouldn't be a problem.



This is a bit more of a problem, but we've only got four matches scheduled for all of March, so Morvan picked the best possible time to get injured.



I'm still chagrined that we went out to flippin' Watford.




Oh, right. The Gold Cup. I'll be taking our first team there, I want to win the whole thing this summer. I'm expected to reach the finals, which is fair considering that even Mexico's B team is going to give us fits. If we win we're on the road to the 2025 Confederations Cup. I believe we'd play the 2021 champions (Jamaica) for the CONCACAF spot.



Well, it's March and we're still in three competitions. The Premier League is starting to look out of reach, though. Despite winning four league matches in a row we're still eight points back of City. But we're in great shape to reach the FA Cup semis given our matchup against lower league Wigan, and our impressive 2-0 victory over defending European champions Juventus puts us on course to make the Champions League quarterfinals barring a collapse. Best of all, we've been playing excellent soccer since the end of the transfer window. If we sustain this form we can start dreaming of a double.



Board Vote

(Mercantilistly) I feel that it is time that we begin expanding our empire to include affiliated clubs. We already have our ties with Radnicki Nis, which allows us to evade work permit restrictions after three years. I feel we should consider adding affiliates in nations such as the United States and China that will raise our profile and increase our overseas income and merchandising. I also feel that we should identify a lower table EPL club where we can send our young players on loan as a finishing school after they exit our youth program. I leave it to you to determine which, if either, we do first

A) (Patriarchally) We need to find a better home for our young players. Look at poor Cosimo De Blasio, being forced to play for Tackleford in League One this year! (seek an affiliate where we can send players on loan)
B) (Avariciously) We need to crack into new markets if we're to compete with the megabastards over the long haul. (Seek an affiliate that will raise our profile and reputation overseas)
C) (Peevishly) I don't see why we need another affiliate, it's just going to cost us money. (No search for a new affiliated club)

Voting will end Thursday, July 24, at 12pm EST.