Part 149: Chapter the First: Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you, Rocky Bastable.

Chapter the First: Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you, Rocky Bastable.
July 8, 2023-August 1

Item one on the agenda is finding a way to use our gigantic pile of money to sign a world class striker to replace the one I just let go because I'm dumber than a bag of hammers. Item two is not embarrassing ourselves at the Copa America in Ecuador. Item three is Wrexham's preseason, which I haven't planned out yet.



At least the team is looking forward to the upcoming challenges despite both intended and unintended squad turnover.



Damnit Bloem, I have cash to burn and your name's on it!



I've offered £105m for Bloem, and they haven't even opened negotiations. He's off the table.



So is Bayern Munich's crazygonuts good Niklas Duhnke:



We have all this money and nowhere to spend it.



Or maybe we do. I had my scouts look at every player in the world valued over £7.5m, and this guy popped up. He's worth £33.5m, but had a minimum fee release clause of £9.5m



He's on newly promoted Cesena, which just made it to Serie A. He appears to have literally just been generated in the last two weeks and he has no playing history before last year. As you can see, he's surprisingly comparable to Bastable.




His technical and physical numbers are awesome. His mental numbers not so much. That 9 composure means that he'll pooch easy goals on the regular. His 19 Work Rate, 17 Off the Ball, and 17 Anticipation combined with his A+ physical skills means he should still score a ton. We have to hope PSG doesn't exercise their rights to offer him a contract.



The U23 team doesn't count towards our FIFA rankings. Thank goodness, because we're about to lose three times.

At Brazil, July 13, 2023
Copa America, Group B


If we keep it close we've done amazingly well. Our team has only one player who'd be starting for the USMNT, and Brazil are Brazil.

Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Counter
Starting 11: Solis, Lozano, Stevens, Avila, Jiminze, Lang, Padilla, Ibarra, Fisher (c), Hernandze, Helmick.
Subs: Nazaryan, Roberts, Donaldson, Ramirez, Barrett, Coleman, Holland.

We make it through the first half unscathed, and our defense is doing a good job of parking the bus. I don't know how well that will hold up in the second half, but only allowing a single half chance against Brazil with a squad of guys in their late teens and early twenties. Brazil sure think they should be playing better, they unleash a torrent of shots that clang, clatter, and coast on or by the net. Still, it's looking like we're going to hold on for an incredible nil-nil draw... until finally Brazil score in the 87th minute. What a letdown, but it's still a huge accomplishment for our kids.




Brazil 1-0 USMNT U23



The guy is just coming out of Serie B and I'm assuming that's why he wasn't on anyone's radar, because he should have had a lot of suitors.

Thiago
Striker


You can live with low bravery in a striker if he's not a target man. But that Composure terrifies me. Composure is something you can train, so he's getting a crash course on how to relax with the ball at his feet. He'll never be cool as a cucumber, but even cool as a carrot would be a marked improvement. Other than that he's the platonic ideal of a poacher, and the scouts say his specific strength is performing in important matches. I feel like the game saw what happened with Bastable and created this guy to make me feel less guilty.



The cavalcade of departures continues. I'm a fan of Julio, I'm not kidding when I said all he does is score, but he only made 9 starts last season and Callum Allen is better in most areas while being three years younger and under contract for twice as long.





None of these teams have a match scheduled for a week on either side of the proposed dates. This is ridiculous, especially as clubs like Roma will be playing friendlies against other MLS teams with the same gaps in their schedules.



Our invitation to the Copa America weakens our U20 World Cup squad, but we weren't likely to make it through a group featuring Argentina and Italy anyways.

At Venezuela, July 16, 2023
Copa America, Group B


This is our best chance to win a match, which is to say we're only massive underdogs instead of overwhelmingly screwed. I'm assuming that by 2023 we've developed reliable teleporter technology, as this match is at the same time as the one in China. Either that or we've hit the singularity and I've split my consciousness into two android bodies in order to manage both matches.

Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Counter
Starting 11: Solis (c), Donaldson, Ramirez, Avila, Jiminez, Padilla, Barrett, Coleman, Holland, Hernandez, Black.
Subs: Nazaryan Roberts, Stevens, Helmick, Ibarra, Fisher, Willis.

We have a goal disallowed in the 8th minute as Black was offside. I hope that's not our only one. We're taking too many long range shots, and Venezuela have been able to break us down more than once. Unsurprisingly the team is looking nervous at halftime. Venezuela is wasteful with their chances, but 9 of our 11 shots are from long range and we go down to a draw. We're not eliminated yet, but things are looking bleak.




Venezuela 0-0 USMNT U23

At Jiangsu Sainty, July 16, 2023
Friendly


Wrexham will play fewer friendlies this year, I think one thing that hurt us at the start of last year was trying to play too many too early in our season. Also, I'm getting frustrated with our inability to schedule a tour of the United States. I don't want to end up playing a bunch of nobodies again. The only other friendly presently on the calendar is with our feeder club in Serbia in early August.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Bailey, Morvan, Parr, Collett, Argenti, Aarts.
Subs: El Sayed, Loseille, Cirjak, O'Hanlon, Feliciano, Mair, Shirra, Petts, Mujkic, Allan, Ikeda, Gabbianelli.

It's a walkover. Argenti gives us the lead in the 11th minute, and then Aarts makes it two in the 18th. We add two more by halftime, a nice shot from range by Morvan and a second from Aarts. Taffarel looks like he's already meshing well with the team, he's got two assists. Steve Reed scores on a fluke goal in the second half and the only negative moment in the whole game is Collett being forced off early, but as he's fine after the match even that is nothing to be concerned about.

Man of the Match: Aarts




Jiangsu Sainty 0-5 Wrexham



I can't fault Harley for not making our first team, the guy never had the talent to make it. I am irritated that he refused to leave until I had to give him away.



The sales window is closed as we return from China. I have more money than I know what to do with. We need to add another centerback and I'm still looking for a dominant central midfielder, but we're otherwise good to go.



Screw you, MLS. You're awful and your scheduling is insane. We're going to someplace where it isn't a complete hassle to schedule a tour.






We're going to be big in Japan!





And Italy!



Ok, I guess I lied. We are going to end up playing a lot of friendlies. I couldn't resist sneaking in a second tour after the Radnicki match and before the Community Shield

At Chile, July 19, 2023
Copa America, Group B


We need to win and Brazil needs to lose or draw. I wouldn't put a wager on either of those outcomes. Still, we've at least earned a point and we've only barely been outscored. If we can pull off another narrow loss we'll have acquitted ourselves very well considering that this is our U23 squad.

Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Counter
Starting 11: Solis, Lozano, Stevens, Avila, Jimenez, Lang, Padilla, Ibarra, Fisher, Willis, Helmick.
Subs: Nazaryan, Roberts, Donaldson, Ramirez, Barrett, Hernandez, Holland.

It was all Chile in the first half and it could easily be 2-0 instead of 0-0. We need to show some gumption if we're going to win this match. Chile keep pushing for a goal, but their chances are from much less dangerous spots on the field. Meanwhile we're finally starting to see some success with our counter attacks, and it's no surprise when substitute Christian Holland gives us the lead in the 73rd minute when he finds the seem between the Chilean centerbacks. Our defense stands firm for the final twenty minutes, and despite Brazil's victory knocking us out of the tournament we significantly exceeded expectations and showed the world that we are not to be taken lightly.

Man of the Match: Scott Stevens




Chile 0-1 USMNT U23



Guess who forgot that the Copa America is a three group tournament where only four teams are eliminated at the group stage and two of the third place teams survive. We're playing Colombia, if we're as lucky as we were against Chile we could make it to the semifinals. Meanwhile Uruguay, Venezuela, Paraguay, and Bolivia are all out.



I'm just glad he didn't hurt himself seriously, but this will keep him out for the Community Shield.



My hunt for a centerback upgrade bears fruit. Salerno is one of the best defenders in Italy, a nation known for their defensive prowess, and broke into the Italian national team last year at the age of 21. He seems criminally underrated, valued at a meager £9.5m. I expect it will take at least twice as much to land him. If we can't get him for under £30m I'll be surprised, but there's other centerbacks in the sea.



Meanwhile peerless midfielder Rodrigo Jiminez has suffered a serious injury, knee tendonitis, that puts him out of the running for my “big splash” of the offseason. We probably couldn't have afforded him anyhow, even if Bayern was willing to part with him.

At Kashima Antlers, July 20, 2023
Japanese Tour


Konnichiwa Japan! Thank you for being a last second replacement to those jerks in North America who were too good to schedule matches against us. The Japanese teams have an odd set of naming conventions for their football clubs, but the Antlers are pretty straightforward. Kashima means “Deer Island”- ergo they're the Deer Island Antlers. They're the most successful club in Japan, having won a total of 16 major trophies and 7 top division titles. We're still going to smoke them.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: El Sayed, Cirjak, O'Hanlon, Hammatt, Loseille, Bailey (c), Petts, Parr, Allan, Ikeda, Gabbianelli.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Kovacevic, Taffarel, Reed, Laux, Morvan, Mair, Shirra, Argenti, Mujkic, Thiago, Aarts.

We definitely don't smoke them in the first half. It takes us until stoppage time to get a goal, but it couldn't have worked any better for our merchandise sales. Ryuta Ikeda scores in his first game back home, and the locals are pleased as punch. We fail to score again in the second half, new signing Gabbianelli misses what seems like a dozen chances. We're going to need to be much better when we get to competitive matches.

Man of the Match: Alex O'Hanlon.




Antlers 0-1 Wrexham



Oh come on. He was only on the pitch for 20 minutes. Thanks, Japan. You should give him a Gundam body since you've damaged his spine.



So... we won't be signing Salerno. Roma are offering him a new contract, I'll see if it has a release clause but I doubt it will.



I wish these odds would update over the course of the transfer window, if we pull off a couple big moves we might yet become the favorites.



Get me more silverware and I'll shower you all with praise and lucre.



Look, I realize that Monaco is a way hipper place to live than Wrexham, but don't you want to win some trophies?



This is one reason why I've refused to sell players in the past, at a certain point you don't have anything to spend money on.



Man United wanted over £60m for Boumsong two years ago. I doubt the price has gotten lower.

At Fagiano Okayama, July , 2023
Japanese Tour


Fagiano are the only club we're facing not in the top level J League, I picked them as a stop because they're based right next to Ryuta Ikeda's home town. Three guesses as to who we're starting at striker, and the first two don't count.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: El Sayed (c), Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Mair, Morvan, Argenti, Shirra, Damgaard, Ikeda.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Enrique, Cirjak, Rickard, Feliciano, Maloney, Bailey, Stringel, Allan, Gabbianelli, Thiago, Aarts.

We win handily, but we don't score as much as we should have. Ikeda gets a goal in front of his family, though. Good on yer, Ryuta. We're halfway through our tour of Japan and the only thing we're missing is buckets of goals.

Man of the Match: Steve Reed




Fagiano 0-2 Wrexham

At Colombia, July 23, 2023
Copa America, Quarterfinal


We're missing our best centerback, he came down with a nasty case of tendonitis that will sideline him for fully half a year. On top of that one of our midfielders turned 21 and will be ineligible for the rest of the tournament. We can barely dress a full squad, the only thing in our favor is that Colombia is even more tired.

Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Counter
Starting 11: Solis (c), Lozano, Donaldson, Avila, Roberts, Lang, Padilla, Barrett, Helmick, Hernandez, Holland.
Subs: Nazaryan, Jimenez, Ramirez, Coleman, Fisher, Black, Willis.

This game would have been hard enough to win straight up. It was impossible when our players gave up three penalties. The worst performance came from Bobby Padilla, our 23 year old defensive midfielder who is by all accounts one of the three best players currently from the United States at any level. He's out of the squad, and I won't be bringing him back for a full year because of his awful play in this match. Losing is one thing, embarrassing ourselves is another. Only one of the three penalties we gave up was questionable, the other two were entirely deserved.




Colombia 4-0 USMNT U23



Grr.



No, jackanape. We need to talk about how I'm dropping you from the team for not just one bad game but three subpar performances in four appearances when the team was relying on you.




You two picked the wrong time to bypass my office and instead blab to the media.



Good. Don't let it happen again.



Congratulations on getting a one way ticket to the end of your career. I will destroy you.



He'll never play a competitive match until he bows and scrapes his way back into my good graces. I will make him a monument to my vengeance.



There isn't a single world class centerback that we can buy. I'll take a high ceiling loaner for now from PSG with a thought towards purchasing him next year.



Just as expected Salerno's new deal doesn't have a release clause.



You're just playing right into my hands, you dunce of a Dane.



You will die unknown and unloved. Or at least after having been stuck in our reserves until you're 23. Or until I forget why I was so mad at you and remember that I signed you because of your sky-high potential.



Cirjak is the only player who needs a new contract, I'll likely give him one before the end of August to avoid the chance that I forget to make an offer and a foreign club poaches him in the coming January window.

At Kashiwa Reysol, July 26, 2023
Japanese Tour


Reysol are owned by Hitachi, and have one of the smaller stadiums in the J League. They're a comparatively old club, with roots dating back to the 1940s, and are two time top division champs. They aren't on the same level as our prior opponents Antlers or our upcoming ones in Yokohama.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Loseille, O'Hanlon, Feliciano, Taffarel, Bailey, Petts, Parr, Allan, Gabbianelli, Aarts.
Subs: El Sayed, Cirjak, Enrique, Rickard, Laux, Mair, Morvan, Shirra, Argenti, Ikeda, Stringel, Thiago.

We should be rolling over Reysol, but by the end of the first half they're up 1-0 and there's nothing flukey about it. I read the riot act to the players, and they respond with their best set of movement and passing all day in the first 17 seconds and finish with a Parr goal. Callam Allan finally puts us ahead after 70 minutes, but the Japanese team will not go quietly and we're lucky to slip away with the victory.




Reysol 1-2 Wrexham



I'm glad that he wants to impress me, but Man United are trying to lock him up with a new contract.



Unsal isn't happening, not only is he perfectly happy in Monaco they won't accept even a world record bid for him. Too bad, he's one of the three best central midfielders in the world.



Just to make sure Monaco gives him a new, £7m/year deal.

At Yokohama F Marinos, July 29, 2023
Japanese Tour


The company team of Nissan motors, the F Marinos are a perfect example of the odd naming of some Japanese teams. “Marinos” comes from the Spanish word for sailors. F comes from “Flügels” (sic), or “wings” in German, as the Yokohama Flügels were the company team of All Nippon Airways. The teams merged back in 1999, and now we have the F Marinos... though I can't tell if they should properly be called the Wing Sailors or the Sailors' Wings.

Starting Formation: 4-3-2-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reis, Feliciano, Hammatt, Enrique, Morvan, Mair (c), Argenti, Shirra, Ayari, Ikeda.
Subs: El Sayed, Loseille, Taffarel, Rickard, O'Hanlon, Maloney, Bailey, Gabbianelli, Stringel, Allan, Aarts, Thiago.

The F Marinos did their best, limiting us to a sole clear cut chance in the first half, but we're still winning 3-0 by the end of it. The score is the same at the end of the match, and we end our Japanese tour with four fairly easy wins, and having conceded just one goal. The J League proved to be a bit tougher than expected, and I'm not super happy with our lack of scoring, but given that this is primarily about fitness I can't complain too much.

Man of the Match: Ed Hammatt




F Marinos 0-3 Wrexham



Because you're our most important defensive player?



We just did the gol'durn Double and you're doubting me? It would be one thing if you wanted a new contract, but you're instead whining about going to a club that got knocked out of the piddling Europa League in the quarterfinals last year, and play in a league that isn't even as reputable as Germany. It's not even like they have a generations long history of being great, until they were bought by oil billionaires in 2011 they couldn't manage the middling accomplishment of being the undisputed best club in France.



Atletico Madrid was minutes from pulling off a double this past year and their star keeper was a loaner. There's no shame in using loan players even as a megabastard.



Though I also dipped into the transfer kitty to make a big ol' splash.

Jonathan Quiboulaz
Defender


He's got a ways to go before he's a world class defender, but he can play all the way across the back line and gives us excellent depth. He'll likely be fourth or fifth on the depth chart at centerback, but given how many matches we play we'll have plenty of time for everyone.




Well, this is the first time we've had this problem. Hammatt should rest easy, he and Laux are my first choice as a centerback pairing. O'Hanlon should be a little more concerned, but he's still going to get 20+ matches this season to show me what he's got. Let's see if they accept that.



He's on the verge of becoming a star. He'll get plenty of chances to prove it.



I expect his mood to improve when he realizes he's still moved up two spots on our depth chart from last season. If anyone has cause for complaint it's the loaner, Vidal, who's the guy most likely to get less playing time because we don't have a vested interest in his long term success.



We're turning into big spenders, but we're still net something like £50m on the summer.


\

We did well in South America, even if our defeat at the hands of Colombia was outrageous after the confident performances we put forward in the group stage. Next up is the U20 World Cup, which we have no chance of winning as our best U20 players are for the most part on the U23 team. Most summers are nowhere near this crowded when it comes to tournaments, I can't think of a single major one that we'll be involved with next year.



It's a month before the end of the transfer deadline and while I feel like we've done a good job selling high and buying low we haven't made a truly bombastic signing. Part of that is the paucity of perfect midfielders in the world, part of it is that the biggest clubs in the world see no reason to sell their very best players for any sum. I'll certainly be active over the next month, there's no way that I just sit on a £111m budget. At the very least I'll spend another £20-40m on a young superprospect who can get some playing time in our first team.