Part 152: Chapter the Fourth: Put an asterisk on the whole shebang.
Chapter the Fourth: Put an asterisk on the whole shebang.October 1, 2023-November 1, 2023
We're due for a downturn. The only question is whether that happens before we get to the end of the month or when we're playing Manchester City twice in four days. I'd be happier about the whole thing if our good start had given us a bigger lead in the EPL and CL, instead we're one game into the Champions League and only two points up on Manchester United.
AJ_Impy won't be leaving his post without giving something back to the club. The one thing that hasn't improved during all the renovations of the Racecourse Grounds is the Corporate Facilities rating, which models fancy things like luxury suites and the accoutrements for wining and dining the rich and powerful. That rating is part of what determines your sponsorship income. You can only upgrade, so far as I know, with a new stadium.
He won a game more than I did, meaning this award makes more sense than the August one. Doesn't change the fact that the club is the only undefeated in the league, with the best goal differential, and we're winning few plaudits for it. A senior team member doesn't even pick up best young player this month, it goes instead to Cosimo De Blasio for a strong set of games at Leeds.
Our jersey sales have skyrocketed. We've got bandwagon fans across the planet at this point. Just compare with two years ago:
quote:
We're selling nearly three times as many jerseys in a month as we did for an entire season, and that was after we had already reached the Premier League. It's increased our total revenue to the point where we were just £1.5m in the red over the course of the month. At such a low burn rate we'll still have more than 50m quid in hand after the entire season ends. I'm glad we're a fan trust, in prior games I've had penurious owners who enjoyed lifting tens of millions of pounds straight from the budget to their wallet. With a fan trust that isn't an option, for all the joking we've done about embezzlement it's been more or less a non-issue.
Bailey's 29 years old, but I would love if he got capped. It would be a fitting reward for the guy who's been getting it done for us since day one, even if he's a PED scandal waiting to happen.
At Shakhtar Donetsk, October 4, 2023
Champions League, Group D
Donetsk is home to the best team in Ukraine. They had a brief fall from grace after three straight titles from 2017-2019, but reclaimed the top position on the table last season. Shakhtar means miner in Ukrainian; they'll have to dig deep to beat us despite their home advantage.
Editor's Note:
The game froze after the first time we played this match, sending us back to the start of the month. The result below is what happened the first time around. I consider it the true outcome. The second time around I set out aiming to get beat, but I couldn't use our youth squad as they were unregistered for the competition. So of course that time we went down by two very quickly and then fought our way back to a comfy 4-2 victory.
On top of the defeat we also lost Mattias Laux for two weeks due to an injury during training. It would keep him out for the next two or three club matches. If we somehow go undefeated in Europe and/or the league this year we need to put a huge asterisk on it.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, O'Hanlon, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Morvan, Bailey (c), Argenti, Allan, Collett, Stringel.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Reed, Laux, Mair, Petts, Parr, Aarts.
My request in the pre-match pep talk for a flying start couldn't have been answered any sooner, as Stringel scores 13 seconds after the kickoff. Collett doubles our joy before five minutes are up. Both assisted by Argenti. We can't add any more after that despite myriad invitations, and while we hold a two-nil lead at the half the Ukrainians have created more clear cut chances than we have thanks to an effective counterattack. I tell Taff and Tonci to hang back a bit further on the defense, hoping that will reduce the risk of giving up easy goals in the second half, but my halftime exhortation to stay focused goes over like a lead balloon.
They should have listened to me, Shakhtar makes it a one goal game twelve seconds into the closing half of the game, and then tie it up after less than 10 minutes of play. My rage is incandescent on the sideline, and I immediately bring on Matthias Laux to staunch the bleeding. It doesn't work, Shakhtar's striker picks up his hat trick six minutes past the hour. I breathe a sigh of relief when we score what I thought was a literal last minute goal from Argenti, but Shakhtar march right back down the pitch and Oleksandr Bozkho picks up his fourth goal after entering the game at halftime. We spent five minutes beating on Shakhtar and got sloppy, lazy, and pathetic. I don't stop screaming at the players until the plane ride back to the UK lands.
Shakhtar 4-3 Wrexham
The digital hiccup means that I don't call O'Hanlon into my office and tell him that he needs to step up his game or he's gone. Oh well, I'm sure I'll get another chance given his mediocrity to date.
At Tottenham Hotspur, October 7, 2023
Premier League
Other than Laux being healthy and available this match is unaffected by the reality wobble of 2023. Tottenham didn't avoid relegation by much last season, but talent-wise they're still one of the six best clubs in the league. They're doing better this season, sitting in 7th place through six matches.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Mair, Petts, Parr, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, O'Hanlon, Bailey, Allan, Gabbianelli, Aarts.
Thiago has two clean chances and nothing to show for them, which is apparently par for the course from him. We're generally pushing Spurs around, but it could all go to hell in a heartbeat. I bawl out the team for their failure and ineptitude around the net, but they go right back to missing chances in the second half. When Thiago misses an open net for the third time on the day I pull him for Aarts and the Belgian makes his argument for more playing time within two minutes of being brought on. Just as I'm telling the team to start playing it safe Tottenham equalize on a Cirjak error. My substitutions both giveth and taketh away. It's the death knell for our perfect season, and Arsenal's record for consecutive Premier League victories is safe for the nonce.
Man of the Match: Mateo Mujkic.
Tottenham 1-1 Wrexham
You don't want to be on the team that loses to Mexico at home, do you?
vs Mexico, October 13, 2023
International Friendly
Dos a cero or bust. I wouldn't make us favorites for the match, but the outcome hinges on how well we play defense. I expect that we'll have our chances on the counter attack, and that we'll be able to score at least one against El Tri.
Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Counter
Starting 11: Toninho, Parsons, Latham, Brown, Erlic (c), Romaneiro, Woods, Ramos, Burman, Munk, Carroll.
Subs: Gomez, Thompson, Robles, Bruno, Paulinho, Lang, Hyndman, Barrett, Lenz, Saavedra, Mancini.
It's a quiet game until the 78th minute, with the only prior action having been handled ably by the keepers. Then Mexico seemingly breaks the game open with a late goal, only to see the Americans storm back to answer immediately afterward. Each side trades haymakers looking for the winner over the course of the final ten minutes, but at the end the flurry of excitement has changed the outcome from a nil-nil draw to a one-one draw.
USMNT 1-1 Mexico
vs Costa Rica, October 17, 2023
International Friendly
Drawing against an excellent team like Mexico can't really be seen as a disappointment, but if we don't win here it'll be the first international break we've had since my first matches helming the team where we haven't won at least once.
Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Counter
Starting 11: Gomez, Robles, Latham, Brown, Bruno, Lang, Woods (c), Barrett, Saavedra, Lenz, Mancini.
Subs: Toninho, Thompson, Paulinho, Parsons, Erlic, Hyndman, Romaneiro, Ramos, Munk, Burman, Carroll.
Saavedra does not show the same nose for the goal he's had in Brazil this season during his time on the pitch. Nor does anyone else, of our fifteen shots only two are on target. We have to settle for a draw, despite winning the match according to every statistic but the one that matters. What a waste of everyone's time.
USMNT 0-0 Costa Rica
They have no right to be happy with two draws. We need a lot of work if we're going to assure a deep run in 2026. Right now I wouldn't be shocked by anything from a group stage exit to a quarterfinal berth.
Another mixed showing drops us another two spots in the rankings. It's going to be hard to climb them over the next couple years seeing as we don't play many matches until 2025 and the Gold and Confederations Cups.
Abramovich is pushing 60 at this point, perhaps he's bored of a team that hasn't finished top four in the last two seasons? I just hope that no one comes in trying to buy our Dragons.
My weekly podcasts on ESPN are a hit with all the kids and I've always got time to discuss how I handle player selection. In this case it's in response to Saavedra's coach complaining about the fact that I played him for 45 minutes in our second friendly. I'm not sure why he's complaining, considering I followed his instructions.
Well this bears keeping an eye on for the future. The tournament only takes place once every four years, I expect I'll forget about it just in time for Ikeda to get called up in 2027.
At Newcastle United, October 21, 2023
Premier League
I may be taking Newcastle too lightly here, but the following three matches are a meatgrinder. I'm willing to take a risk up Tyneside way for a better prepared club come next week's gauntlet.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, O'Hanlon, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Bailey (c), Petts, Argenti, Allan, Rouissi, Aarts.
Subs: Kovacevic, Taffarel, Hammatt, Mair, Collett, Ikeda, Gabbianelli.
That did not go as planned. Newcastle don't play particularly well, but they get a lucky free kick goal in the 17th minute, and I'm forced to watch teenager James Loseille get abused all game by the Newcastle right midfielder until I finally can't take any more and sub him out. It doesn't matter, we can't get anything going offensively and Newcastle didn't even need the dagger in the 88th minute to finish us off. It's the first time since last March that we were held scoreless. We're not going undefeated.
Newcastle 2-0 Wrexham
It had to happen sometime. The key is to make a quick recovery from this stumble. We've already ceded first place in the league to Manchester United, who've not lost yet this season.
vs Paris Saint-Germain, October 25, 2023
Champions League, Group D
PSG struggled to a draw in Russia, and they lost when we lost in the world before the crash, so it's entirely possible that this group will be as hotly contested as I imagined. Knocking PSG out of the Champions League would warm the cockles of my heart considering how often they try to buy our players. Two of them, Oleg Suslov and El Juez, feature in their starting lineup tonight.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Morvan, Petts, Argenti, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Mair, Bailey, Collett, Stringel.
An even first thirty minutes leads to increasingly dangerous PSG attacks, which culminate in El Juez putting us to the sword in the 41st minute. Half the team looks nervous, with Argenti and Thiago looking half out of their gourd with fear. It's not a fitting look for the reigning champions of Europe, but keeps me from throwing the library at them during halftime.
I'm about to pull Argenti for Collett after an hour of feckless play, but just as Collett is preparing to enter the match the young Italian scores the equalizer. So I bring on Stringel for Thiago instead. That works out wonderfully, as Stringel scores after being on the pitch less than 10 minutes to give us the lead. PSG comes close to pulling even when a cannonade repelled by the crossbar, but Argenti struts his stuff with a second goal in the 84th minute. We finish a rousing second half with Taff nodding in a Meteor free kick from midfield, and PSG is sent packing back to Paris. It's a second half performance deserving rapturous praise, and I'm eager to spread the credit after the match.
Man of the Match: Meteor Mujkic
Wrexham 4-1 PSG
First you give them a proper rogering.
Then you cuddle close and tell them you love them.
I'm totally in his head.
vs Manchester City, October 28, 2023
Premier League
I circled 8 match days on the calendar when the Premier League fixture list was released. September 16th against Chelsea was the first. This is the second. If we can get twelve points from those eight match days we'll be favorites to win the league again. It'll be interesting to see how City approaches this game, we play them again in three days, in Manchester, in the League Cup. I expect them to throw their best eleven out against us, but they're looking ragged at the moment with four first team players ailing and another three in need of a rest. Their midweek match wasn't a cakewalk either, they faced off against Juventus and played most of their first team.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Mair, Bailey, Collett, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Reed, O'Hanlon, Morvan, Allan, Argenti, Aarts.
Collett and Mujkic both miss opportunities for an early tally, and we pay for our wastefulness when City hit us on the break. We don't stay down for long, Stringel hits a bomb that the City keeper must leap for, and the rebound falls to Thiago. He slaps it off the post back to himself, and puts it away on the second shot. He doesn't need two tries for his second goal ten minutes later, and we take a 2-1 lead into intermission. I tell the team to stay focused, we've played well and allowed just one shot but another goal could put paid to everything we've worked for so far. They listen to me, with the exception of Cirjak, and we play a determined second half without allowing City a soft goal to put themselves back into the game. We don't have the comfort of a two goal lead, though, and my fears come to fruition when Kovacevic makes an uncharacteristic lapse in judgment and bobbles the ball across our own goal-line for the equalizer. It's a frustrating draw given how well we played, but we don't deserve more when we only managed to get four of seventeen shots on target.
Man of the Match: Thiago.
Wrexham 2-2 Manchester City
At Manchester City, October 31, 2023
Capital One Cup, Fifth Round
Fancy seeing you again so soon. City have their top stars on the bench to start the match, but they're only running out one young player. Given their home field advantage we're going to need a very good performance to advance to the next round.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Counter
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Morvan, Bailey, Argenti, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Quiboulaz, Mair, Stringel, Collett, Aarts.
When Thiago is on you can see why he's so great. In the fourteenth minute he scores using his weaker foot to deke the keeper out of his boots. Our counter attack is working swimmingly, we narrowly miss another goal on a Mujkic to Thiago connection. City's attack hasn't been shut down entirely, though, and I'm cautious about expressing optimism halfway through the match. That's especially the case with Mark Bloem entering the match after the half.
I feel more secure after Thiago's second goal, set up by an audacious pass by Shirra. City are left with no choice but to press ahead, playing directly into our strategy. It doesn't work for them, and they won't be lifting the League Cup trophy this year.
Man of the Match: Scott Shirra
Man City 0-2 Wrexham
The only way this would be more enjoyable is if we'd won both games.
There's video evidence, you schmuck.
USMNT
On the one hand we drew with the most recent World Cup champs. On the other, we drew against Los Ticos. There's no more national team duty until next March, when we'll take on African Cup of Nations' holder Mali, and I have to admit I'm grateful for the reprieve.
Wrexhamp
We've come streaking back down to earth in the league, just as I was afraid of. The loss to Newcastle is on my shoulders, but given that we were five minutes and an own goal from going three for three against PSG and Man City I stand by my decision. It is disappointing that a six match winning streak to start the season has still left us four points back of Manchester United. What's more intriguing to me is that Sheffield United are sitting in fourth place after two full months of games. I can't imagine they keep it up for the full season, but we face off against them in ten days and they clearly aren't the pushovers most prognosticators envisioned finishing 19th this season.
Meanwhile we'd still be atop our group even if the game hadn't frozen, and PSG would be in even worse shape, but I dislike the change in result. As we promptly dropped seven points in the Premier League after the Shakhtar replay we might have been better off if the original result had held. Trips to Russia and Paris remain on the schedule for the group stage, but up five points with a home match remaining against the Ukrainians we should sail through to the knockout round.
Lastly, an update on Rocky vs. Thiago...
The Bastard of the Bernabeu: 7 goals in 14 appearances.
Thiago: 8 goals in 11 appearances.
Things looked a lot better for Rock before Thiago lit up City for four goals in the last two matches. Barring injury both of them will end up with great numbers for the season.
