Part 161: Chapter the Eleventh: The immolation of Stoke.
Chapter the Eleventh: The immolation of Stoke.April 21, 2014-May 13, 2014
We'll know whether we've won the Premier League for the second year in a row within the next three weeks. Our fate is firmly in our own hands, if we beat Stoke and Everton we win. If we beat one of them and draw with Manchester United we win. And that's assuming United win all of their remaining games, not a given considering that they have a trip across town to City on May 2nd. They actually have three matches against City in the course of eight days, Manchester is going to be a war zone as City attempts to scuttle United's title aspirations and advance to the Champions League final. Meanwhile, we're off to Spain.
Oh, nice. Who are our kids playing in the final?
I should have known.
At Atletico Madrid, April 23, 2024
Champions League, Semifinal Away Tie
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Shirra should be healthy by now, but his ankle was stubbornly slow to heal and while he's available for selection he's not estimated to be fully healed for another 5 days. I'm tempted to put him on the bench, but risking his health would be foolish when it's not absolutely necessary. Madrid are led by all world forward Mauricio Bohorquez, keeping him from dealing damage will go a long way towards setting ourselves up to advance to the final.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Petts, Taborda, Collett, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Allan, Gabbianelli, Aarts.
It's a nightmare start, Atletico score in the second minute and Hammatt is already limping from a collision. That makes me reconsider my starting strategy, we redeploy in a more defensive posture. Atletico's Greek keeper makes an amazing reflex save against Thiago to deny us an equalizer, then make it two-nil before we mercifully retreat to the lockers. Given the failure of our efforts to play defensively we have nothing to lose by coming out swinging when play resumes.
It's slightly more effective, and the visiting section erupts with cheers when they think Mujkic has scored, but the shot was into the side netting. We get a vital break in the 80th minute when a clever bit of one touch passing on the left flank gets Stringel an open look at the net and he buries the ball to make it 2-1. At the final whistle we've kept ourselves alive, a win in Wrexham will likely see us through to the final.
Atletico 2-1 Wrexham
Thiago should be getting touted for this. He's got 12 goals in 10 Champions League matches, and not a single one came against an extremely weak opponent. Stringel's been good, but not that good. Also, how are two players (Duhnke and Pedrozo) from a team that got shellacked 7-1 by Manchester United in the Quarterfinals even in the conversation for this award?
That did not go well for United, they need a resounding win next week at the Etihad if they're going to return to the final.
Enjoy the parachute payments.
Well you just got yourself the starting role against Stoke, m'boy. Especially since it's been two whole matches since Thiago last scored.
You won't let us down Isaac. I know you too well for that.
vs Stoke City, April 27, 2024
Premier League
United fell to our Welsh brethren in Swansea today. A win gives us the title. Stoke must die so that we may fulfill our destiny. It is known.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Quiboulaz, O'Hanlon, Loseille, Mair, Ünsal, Parr, Stringel, Taborda, Aarts (c).
Subs: Fitzgerald, Taffarel, Hammatt, Petts, Allan, Gabbianelli, Thiago.
We knock at the door and Stoke scurries into their rigid fortress to deny us what is rightfully ours. They cannot deny us, for we are dragons. Walls are no impediment. Castles are for burning. Jonathan Quiboulaz writes his name in flame across the history of Wrexham, igniting the first inferno after 30 minutes of mewling Stoke resistance.
The manling assigned to watch this decimation attempts treachery by placing the ball on the penalty spot, but Vid Kovacevic is made of sterner stuff than Stoke's assassin. The young one, beloved of his father Abraham, puts paid to any opposing dreams after an hour has passed. The victims can muster but a single whimpering response before expiring. They are not Champions. They are not Dragons. They are not Wrexham.
Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel
Wrexham 2-1 Stoke
It is a good day.
Our honors abound, our glories multiply, and the name Wrexham rings out across the world.
I promised you trophies. I am no liar.
Not all trophies are for sharing, however.
I am pleased that tribute is being paid to us by lesser clubs.
I am pleased that our young have already developed a taste for Mancunian tears.
vs Atletico Madrid, May 1, 2024
Champions League, Semifinal Home Tie
There is no time for a title hangover, we still have another trophy to win. That requires overcoming our first leg loss to the second sons of Madrid.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Taborda, Petts, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Reed, Quiboulaz, O'Hanlon, Parr, Stringel, Aarts.
Atletico catch us on the counter, and we've got a two goal hole to climb with 70 minutes left. Unfortunately, it seems like we celebrated a bit too hard after clinching the league. I must have blacked out at some point, but when I come to the only thing in my notes is a scrawl of “OH GOD THE HORROR.” We've fallen to a two-nil defeat, and are out of the Champions League.
Wrexham (1) 0-2 (4) Atletico
Well, that's a quick comedown from the moutaintop.
It's not like we have anything left to play for.
“We only made it to the semifinals of the Champions League and won the Premier League title! I want to go to PSG so that I can get knocked out of the Champions League in the quarterfinals instead and play in a vastly less prestigious league!”
“And I'm going to whine to the press about it, except I'll accept your offer of winning the Premier League this season even though we've already won it.”
Yeah, this game isn't perfect. A lot of people just refuse to talk to their players at all, because they'll never get unhappy if you just ignore them completely.
At Manchester United, May 4, 2024
Premier League
A win for my birthday and one last chance to stick it to Manchester before the season ends.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Hammatt, Loseille, Mair, Ünsal, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic, Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Reed, Quiboulaz, Petts, Parr, Stringel, Aarts.
United go off the crossbar in the second minute, but Cirjak counters with a rare goal. We've had a slight advantage through the first half, but the second half proves more difficult. Our players seem checked out, and it's understandable given that we have nothing to play for. That finally results in an error we can't fix at the hour mark, and despite chances late in the match we come away with a draw. Alas, We're not cracking the 100 point barrier this year. More worrying is that Thiago has completely lost his touch, he was burying the same chances he's getting now just a month ago.
Man of the Match: James Loseille
Man United 1-1 Wrexham
At Everton, May 12, 2024
Premier League
Lets get this over with. Bailey's just back from injury; since this match is for nothing but pride I'll likely sub him on late. Everton have something to play for, they're tied with Tottenham on points for the final Europa League spot, and if both the Toffees and Spurs lose they could be leapfrogged by Sheffield.
Starting Formation: 3-4-3 Attack
Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Laux, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Reed, Mujkic (c), Unsal, Shirra, Aarts, Stringel, Thiago.
Subs: Kovacevic, Loseille, O'Hanlon, Bailey, Petts, Taborda, Collett.
It's a back and forth first half. First Mujkic unleashes a drive from 40 yards out that catches the Everton keeper off his line and thuds into the back of the net. Then Everton equalizes five minutes later as Laux is caught ball watching. They take the lead on a free kick that Fitzgerald hideously misplays, but we swarm forward again and Steve Reed equalizes 80 seconds later. The second half plays out as if the team is already on vacation. We draw, which is enough for Everton to hang onto sixth place.
Man of the Match: Steve Reed
Everton 2-2 Wrexham
I'm surprised to see Derby go down, but not so much Villa. The seven time top division Champions have never been very good over the past decade.
As disappointed as I am with how we played the last couple weeks of the season, we won five competitions and one of those was the League title. We tallied the second most points in Premier League history while doing so, and only one team beat us all season. That team was Newcastle, and they alone can say that they topped us out of all the other clubs. The only other team we failed to defeat was Everton, who accounted for two of our six draws. It was a good season, but not a great one, and our work remains incomplete.
