Part 166: Chapter the Second: The “no f\$&#ing way” game.
Chapter the Second: The “no f$&#ing way” game.August 15, 2024, October 1, 2024
We've got eight matches coming up. Six in the Premier League, one in the League Cup, and one in the Champions League. We also have the September international break to go through, wherein the USMNT will go up against Qatar and Turkey. Turkey is ranked 28th in the world. Qatar 66th. We should be winning both.
Everyone is fit and rested for the start of the season. Good job, me.
Cup of Nations qualifying knocked both of these matches off our schedule.
At this late date I could only find scrubs to play. Qatar is fortunate to be ranked 66th in the world while Singapore is ranked 102nd. This is not the type of international friendly I want to play.
You're stuck behind Stringel and Shirra on the depth chart, a place where you'd get more playing time would be good for you. I'll see what I can work out before the window closes.
The firesale continues! Villalba is City's best centerback, and has defeated many a Wrexham attack.
Yeah, I guess we do need a bigger stadium. Maybe it can be on the same site as the Racecourse Grounds, so we can keep the history.
At Manchester United, August 18, 2024
Premier League
Home field advantage is huge in soccer. It's a big deal in other sports as well, see this examination of American pro sports, but from 2009/2010 through 2013/2014 a team could expect to win 46.8% of their home games against only 27.8% of their away matches. That's a 59% increase in winning percentage. The game models home field advantage accordingly.
That's all a roundabout way of saying that a draw against United would be a great start to the season.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Counter
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Ünsal, Bailey, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Mair, Taborda, Stringel, Aarts.
We've been bad at playing a counter-attacking style over the last couple years, despite having one of the fastest teams in the league. I can't tell if there's a reason for it, such as not having midfielders who are good enough defensively or because we so seldom use it, or if it only seems that way because the only time we play on the counter is during away games at megabastards. Suffice to say, we go behind before everyone has settled into their seats when Bailey gets caught ball watching the aftermath of a failed Hammatt clearance. The goal is from former Golden Boot John Baxter, who United bought for a song from a flailing Liverpool a couple years ago.
United push us around for most of the rest of the game, but our defense really doesn't play that badly. We give up only two half chances despite being pinned on our side of the pitch most of the match. That defense is the reason we're able to equalize in the 80th minute from a set piece, as Shirra's placed shot glides inside the far post. We're able to take a point from our first match, and I'm content with that.
Man United 1-1 Wrexham
Sure I'll give you a run in the first team. I know it's only going to be about six weeks before you hurt yourself and I'll be able to rotate in other players.
The only team interested in Allan is Arsenal, but they'd have him on the bench almost as much as we would and be using him in less than half their matches. I'm surprised that no one else has expressed interest, the guy is only on our bench because we've got two world class attack midfielders ahead of him on the roster.
I mean, Isaac here would be a solid acquisition for just about any team in the world, and he's not as good as Shirra! Also, we need a nickname for Stringel:
The kid is becoming everything I could have hoped for, though he still lacks in mental stoutness.
City spent £28m on Villalba, and he was ever-present in their starting 11. I am sitting back and watching them fall apart with great enjoyment.
Even when I'm offering to pay Allan's salary the only team interested in him is Arsenal. I have no clue why midtable teams aren't knocking down my door for him- he'd be one of the best players on any non-megabastard.
Can't hurt. Stringel is already ambitious, so it's not like Mujkic is going to change his personality for the worse.
You kids have fun now, hear? Don't do anything I wouldn't have done at your age. Well, at Meteor's age at least. I did some dumb things as a 21 year old.
vs Blackburn Rovers, August 24, 2024
Premier League
This will not go well for Blackburn if history is any guide:
One win and one draw in eleven games is pretty rough, and that win came all the way back in 2019.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Ünsal, Shirra, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Loseille, O'Hanlon, Mair, Allan, Taborda, Aarts.
It doesn't get any better for the Rovers. Parr shows me why he should be starting by getting us on the board in the third minute, and Thiago adds a brace with goals on each side of halftime. Blackburn get a consolation goal on the counter, but we win by three after Stringel hits paydirt with 15 minutes remaining. There is some momentary concern about Parr, who I subbed off after he was dinged, but the physios say he'll be fit for next weeks match.
Man of the Match: Thiago.
Wrexham 4-1 Blackburn
That's a huge relief. He'd scored three times in pre-season, but seeing him officially break out of his slump is a big boost to the whole club. Aarts is good, and Stringel might be better, but Thiago is a menace when he's on his game.
This will be my quietest window as a coach perhaps ever. We didn't sell anyone, though we have loaned out thirteen players. Our only incoming player was an 18 year old we inked two years ago and who went straight onto our youth squad. And the only cash transaction was the purchase of Tounkara, who won't come to the club until next summer. Compare with last summer, where we sold 7 players for £155m and brought in six new first team players for £64m. This should be all to the good when it comes to our squad cohesion, and given how young the team is we should still see improvements from most of the players.
Give him a cap!
Boo!
This happened in the course of 12 hours. If I were Newcastle United's manager I'd be pretty upset if it screwed with any pending transfers.
Is it just me, or do we always seem to get put in Group B, and do we get grouped with PSG pretty often?
Basel and Kyiv are clubs that might surprise people in a weak group, but if you had to pick the winner of the Champions League being Wrexham or PSG, or the field, you'd probably pick the gruesome twosome.
At Burnley, August 31, 2024
Premier League
In real life Burnley have just made it to the Premier League for the second time after a cameo in 2009/2010. They've already picked up a draw against Manchester United, but have only scored one goal in five games. AU-Future Burnley isn't quite so hapless, but they're also in their first season playing Premier League ball since 2010 and will have to fight for their lives to stay up.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Ünsal, Shirra, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Loseille, O'Hanlon, Mair, Allan, Taborda, Aarts.
Our games don't lack for early goals. Reed arrives just too late on a tackle that is inches over the penalty line, and Burnley take the lead. They don't get to savor it for very long, five minutes later Parr turns his marker all the way around en route to scoring the equalizer. Stringel gives us the winner just after half an hour has been played, and Burnley never managed a shot on target other than the penalty.
Man of the Match: Shahed Parr
Burnley 1-2 Wrexham
A newly promoted Championship club? I might be able to run our youth squad out and win this. That could happen depending on how fit the senior team is come late September.
I let Paul Williams pick the team this time around, because I'm lazy.
He's scoring more than one out of two. You're crazy to leave him off the club, even if he's second fiddle to Thiago. Don't you know we were offered over £40m for him this summer?
He left out Bailey, too. I'm torn. On one hand I want my players to achieve fame on the international level to juice their value and their jersey sales, on the other hand they can't get hurt if they don't get picked for the national team.
A spate of injuries during the international window is a real concern when 35 of our 51 players under contract are called to play for their country.
They squeaked past Inter 1-0; it's the second time in a row that Internazionale has lost the Super Cup.
I expect better than third place, String.
But I'm glad to see that Parr is rewarding my faith in giving him more playing time.
I expect better than third place, self.
This puts City at over £100m in sales, and would be the fourth regular that they've sold in the window. The only purchase they've made is £2.4m for an 18 year old defensive midfielder from Blackpool, and they still have several players transfer listed by request.
Well, I spoke too soon. Man City made two deadline deals for good young talent, along with Grimes they added a very good young fullback from Reading named Jacob Rose. Their net spend is still £70m in the black, though, and their star players still aren't happy.
Only £404m? That's pocket change for the EPL! Having both City and ourselves largely sit out the window significantly reduced the amount spent.
Play Damgaard more often, Sky Shadowing. I need him to develop so I can sell him for tens of millions of pounds and finance the club.
Goddamnit, can't you all just get along? This would never happen at Wrexham. It won't happen when I replace 30-something veterans like Brown and Erlic with the youngsters we've been developing.
Good on yer, O'Hanlon. I'm glad that you're back to idolizing me after last seasons snit.
Good on yer, Dickey. I know you've been getting less and less playing time in the first team, but the club appreciates all that you've done since joining us six years ago.
We topped Qatar 1-0 on a Brian Burman goal, and beat Turkey 3-2 in a wild match that saw us go down two-nil in the first 10 minutes. The team showed real heart in that second match and Daniel Bennett scored twice in his third ever cap. I'll have to consider him when I'm looking for a striker to fill out the roster in the future.
Bouzid is on my shortlist of super cool teen prospects, and I'm not going to let Monaco snatch him away from me.
Yes! Let the firesale continue throughout the whole first half of the season! Ouattara isn't the only player still trying to force an exit, City's star left winger Oliver Leinard also wants out. It looks like they'll be able to hang onto striker Russell Maloney and left midfielder Inan Budak though.
I appreciate the understanding. I do my best not to play tired players, but when over half the squad could use a rest I don't have a whole lot of choice.
Take that, Monaco and PSG. Bouzid will join our youth squad in January, Paul Williams rates him as a 3 star prospect, so it's most likely that we end up selling him for operating cash in four years or so.
vs Everton, September 14, 2024
Premier League
Everton have qualified for Europe in four out of the last six years, but recently they seem to be alternating good and bad seasons. Last year they finished 6th on the table, so this year we should give them some help in dropping to the bottom half.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Ünsal, Bailey, Parr, Allan, Mujkic, Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Loseille, O'Hanlon, Mair, Shirra, Taborda, Aarts.
It never gets better for Everton than pulling back to a one goal deficit when the second half starts. They scored two own goals, and that alone was enough to consign them to defeat. Even without the own goals we'd have won handily, with Mateo Mujkic putting on his scoring boots and bagging a brace. The second was especially impressive, catching poor right back Dean Honeyball napping in front of the Everton net and taking the ball right off his feet. That was the second ignominious error for Honeyball on the day, as he'd previously redirected a wide shot from Steve Reed into the back of his own net.
Man of the Match: Meteor Mujkic
Wrexham 4-1 Everton
You're so predictable, Parr. But you're awesome when you're healthy.
The people who run US Soccer are content with my performance, which is good. I'd be frustrated if I was going to get canned because we weren't playing World Cup qualifiers and because they didn't take into account our success at the Olympics.
Uh-huh. Good luck getting your players to believe that.
vs Basel, September 17, 2024
Champions League, Group B
Basel are an adequate club that will have to settle for finishing third in this group. We certainly aren't going to let them take any points on our home turf with the way that we've been chugging along.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Cirjak (c), Laux, O'Hanlon, Loseille, Mair, Shirra, Collett, Allan, Taborda, Thiago.
Subs: Kovacevic, Reed, Hammatt, Bailey, Petts, Mujkic, Aarts.
Tonci Cirjak is singled out for some opprobrium in the film room the next day after he makes an excellent recovery run on a Basel breakaway and then proceeds to tackle the player instead of the ball. It gives Basel their second shot of the day, and their only goal. The score was already 4-0, though, so spirits are lighthearted and the players cheer watching replays of Taborda's two goals and Thiago's free kick strike from 30 meters out.
Man of the Match: Rodrigo Taborda
Wrexham 4-1 Basel
It's Taborda's fourth season with us, and he's been worth every penny of the £7m we paid for him despite never becoming as good as Mujkic.
At Liverpool, September 21, 2024
Premier League
Liverpool are looking much better this year than they had under old management. They're on nine points through four games and have only lost to Manchester United. If this is indicative of how good they're going to be going forward we might have another addition to the fight for Champions League qualification.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Bailey, Ünsal, Taborda, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Aarts.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Hammatt, Mair, Shirra, Collett, Thiago.
They're not ready to challenge for a title, though. We hold them to 63% possession and more importantly we keep a clean sheet for the first time all season. They're able to hang on to a scoreless tie until late in the match, when we finally break through with a Laux goal in the frantic aftermath of a corner kick. Thiago salts away the win when his free kick caroms off the Liverpool wall right to him, and he quickly dribbles around the stunned defenders to score from his own rebound.
Man of the Match: Cristian Taffarel
Liverpool 0-2 Wrexham
James Loseille hasn't turned 20 yet, and after watching both of them last season I've decided I like Taffarel a bit more right now, so this is a good chance for the teenager to get some playing time.
We haven't played against a team he coached since 2017. That's a long memory you've got there, media.
At Chesterfield, September 25, 2024
Capital One Cup, Third Round
The only word I can use to describe this match is cakewalk. Chesterfield will probably get relegated this season from the Championship. The only reason I'm not using kids is because I forgot to bring them up to the first team so that they wouldn't play on the same day.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, O'Hanlon, Hammatt, Loseille, Bailey, Petts, Collett, Allan, Mujkic (c), Stringel.
Subs: Kovacevic, Quiboulaz, Laux, Mair, Shirra, Taborda, Aarts.
Pride. Pride seems like it should be a virtue. Why not be proud of our accomplishments? We feel pride when we see or do something impressive, when we comprehend the wonders that humanity has wrought with its own hands. How could this feeling be a sin? But pride goeth before the fall.
Our proud Dragons are in complete control of the match, Chesterfield spends less than two minutes during the entire match in our third of the field. We outshoot them 20:1. And while we haven't scored as the game gets late I'm unconcerned. Then Collett mis-aims a header, and Chesterfield get their one shot on the day with 10 minutes left. It's a goal, and our Cup defense is over after one match.
Chesterfield 1-0 Wrexham
Chesterfield just got promoted out of League One to the Championship. We're probably the biggest scalp they've ever collected.
Perform or pay up.
And get your head straight, Aarts. I kept you because I thought you were breaking out.
vs Arsenal, September 28, 2024
Premier League
I forgot to grab the preview, suffice to say we're favorites at home
Well, at least we got our pratfall out of the way in a less important competition. Arsenal could tie us atop the table if we lose, which is possible but not likely.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Ünsal, Shirra, Collett, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Hammatt, Mair, Petts, Allan, Aarts.
OK, this isn't funny anymore. We're once more the thoroughly better team in every single way. Arsenal are in our third of the field for just 2 minutes all match. But that's enough for them to score a fluke goal that Kovacevic had no business letting into the net. Once more we are thoroughly in control of the match, racking up chances and plinging shots off the woodwork. But that's not enough to score an equalizer, much less a winner. For the second time in two games we've lost 1-0. It drops us into second place on the table, and leaves me vibrating with frustrated ambition.
Wrexham 0-1 Arsenal
I could have sold you for 46,500,000 pounds. And this is how you're repaying my loyalty?
My only joy this week is coming from the continued teardown of Manchester City. They're selling players outside of the transfer window, these deals won't go through until January 1, 2025.
All of our loaners are getting regular playing time, though none of them are setting the world on fire and Rouissi has been downright bad.
Ugh, not even the young players at our club are in the mix for the player of the month award. Cosimo De Blasio is picking up steam, though, which is good to see.
USMNT
Wins are wins. I just wish that I hadn't had to reschedule games, late cancellations means we're stuck playing weak teams like Singapore because they were the only ones available. Playing weak teams means we're not being challenged and not getting better.
Wrexham
In our last two games we've outshot our opponents 30 to 3 and had twice as much possession. We lost both matches. These are classic “no-fucking-way” games. There's not much I can do about them except tell the team to buckle down and not take anything for granted. Chesterfield especially will treasure that victory for ages, it was the first time we've lost since playing Atletico Madrid in the Champions League semis last April.
Prediction ContestIt's that time of season again, and I can't think of a good one off the top of my head. So I'm throwing open the floor to suggestions.