Part 184: Chapter the Fourth: Howard Webb must die.

Chapter the Fourth: Howard Webb must die.
October 15, 2025-November 6, 2025

The silver lining to our tough start is that it's only seven matches into the season and we've already played both Manchesters and Arsenal, as well as Tottenham and Everton. Things should go a bit smoother against the soft underbelly of the EPL.




Hey, remember when he was complaining to the media about how I was trying to drive him from the club, and I retaliated by exercising his contract extension clause so he was forced to stay with us for three more years? Water under the bridge, thanks to my excellent brainwashing coaching skills.



Uh. What? This appears to be a mistake, that loan mentioned is actually the construction loan for the stadium.



Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, Bastard.



I'm not sure where this "speculation" about my job safety is coming from, I'm still safer than all but a handful of EPL coaches. Maybe a rallying speech to boost morale would help things.



Hmm. Not my most stirring words, I admit.

vs Stoke City, October 18, 2025
Premier League


Stoke are in last place, and have already been drubbed from the Europa League prior to the Group Stage. We'll either increase their misery or they'll suddenly bounce back into form and shock us.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Tounkara, Hammatt, Loseille, Bailey (c), Shirra, Parr, Allan, Mercado, Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Reed, Quiboulaz, Enrique, Taborda, Damgaard, Stringel.

Thiago makes a run and beats two defenders to open scoring in the 22nd minute. Allow Stoke to reply instantly due to a mental lapse on the part of our defense that Minami can't cover for, but Thiago's in the zone and scores on a free kick in the 28th minute. He finishes off the first half with a hat trick. Stoke fight back to score their second goal on their second shot when play resumes, and I'm concerned about gifting away more points late in a match. Not to fear, Thiago has me covered and restores our two goal lead with ten minutes remaining. I'm still not happy with our overall performance, we gave up goals far too easily, but an on point Thiago will make any match easier.

Man of the Match: Thiago




Wrexham 4-2 Stoke




Kôjirô is a prima donna, apparently, and not happy with me for telling the defense I was unimpressed with their performance in allowing a reeling Stoke to score two goals. He'll just have to deal with it.

vs Real Madrid, October 22, 2025
Champions League, Group A


Madrid lost in Rome, so a victory virtually guarantees our advancement through to the knockout round. Real Madrid are fielding a trio of former Red Dragons in Aarts, Taffarel, and the Bastard.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Loseille, Shirra, Ünsal (c), Mercado, Stringel, Taborda, Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Hammatt, Bailey, Allan, Damgaard, Parr.

Thiago continues his brilliant form as he absolutely picks the pocket of world class centerback Mauro Gaeda and scores with the clock ticking into the 8th minute. Stringel adds one of his own, and we're up 2-0 quick as you could hope. I told you guys that we'd be incredible once those two kicked it into gear. Real Madrid have plenty of offense of their own, though, with the Bastard scoring in his return to Wales. Thiago appears to have scored again in the 45th minute, but the ball hit his hand before going into the net and it's rightly called back. Taborda scores on the other side of the half to restore our two goal buffer. Bastable does all he can to overcome it, but after full time we've earned all nine points from our first three group matches.




Wrexham 3-2 Real Madrid

At Reading, October 25, 2025
Premier League


No offense to the players of Reading, but given that we just played Real Madrid and have Arsenal in three days you're getting some of our weaker players.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Tounkara, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Bailey (c), Shirra, Parr, Allan, Damgaard, Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Reed, Hammatt, Enrique, Taborda, Mercado, Stringel.

Parr gets us off to a flyer in the 2nd minute. We're then denied an obvious penalty in the 20th minute. Keepers really need to stop bouncing the ball on the ground when Thiago is around, he pads our lead at the hour mark. We turn out to need the cushion as Reading quickly pull back a goal when Minami appears to pull something. That leads to them nearly evening the match with a bicycle kick that beats Minami but deflects harmlessly off the crossbar. We have the last laugh when Damgaard scores in stoppage time, and the final score flatters us.

Man of the Match: Shahed Parr




Reading 1-3 Wrexham

Thiago is just so awesome. He earns goals like this one and this one all the damned time.



I'd call this impulsive but Reading are just above the drop at the moment.

vs Arsenal, October 28, 2025
Capital One Cup, Fifth Round


Either we take out one of the toughest potential contenders in the League Cup or we get more time to focus on the important trophies. A win-win.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Shirra, Ünsal (c), Parr, Stringel, Taborda, Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Bailey, Allan, Damgaard, Mercado.

We're unable to break through Arsenal's defense, so when they're gifted a bullshit penalty by Howard goddamned Webb at the start of the second half we're suddenly in deep trouble. The gift makes the difference, as despite 24 shots we can't scratch a single one of our own. The hell with the League Cup, and the hell with Howard Webb.




Wrexham 0-1 Arsenal



Give me a touchline ban, I fucking dare you.



I wish I could refuse to allow Howard Webb to enter the premises when next he's assigned a match at the Racecourse Ground. He's screwed us over many times before. But what can you expect from a 54 year old referee? Hopefully he has a fatal heart attack on the pitch soon.



There's miles to go before we sleep. But I'll see what I can do about not playing you every single match.



Oh thank god you're back, Meteor. We've missed you.



Keep scoring in buckets, I want you to win a well deserved Ballon d'Or.

vs Crystal Palace, November 1, 2025
Premier League


Not much to say here but that we should be winning easily.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Laux, Quiboulaz, Bailey (c), Ünsal, Parr, Stringel, Taborda, Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Hammatt, Maloney, Allan, Mujkic, Mercado.

Takes us until the 34th minute to catch Palace in a mistake, two of their players move to close down Parr and that leaves Stringel wide open. Thiago bonks in a header that probably should have been stopped five minutes later. Just before the half the Palace captain and right back makes the incomprehensible decision to pass the ball directly to String, who happily accepts the assist and scores his second of the day. We don't let up after the half, and Steve Reed scores an easy goal when we overwhelm Palace's defense yet again. Sloppy defending and complacency allow Crystal Palace two goals at that point, but Thiago makes sure to pad his Premier League lead with one of his own, and Matthias Laux makes up for his laziness that lead to a goal by scoring on a corner.

Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel




Wrexham 6-2 Palace



What has this bum ever done?! Anybody But Dreamsicle, 2026!

At Real Madrid, November 4, 2025
Premier League


A Real Madrid win here will ruin Roma's chances of advancing. Roma somehow only managed to draw Rangers despite playing at home, and despite having beaten Real Madrid in the second group stage match.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Defensive
Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Laux, Shirra, Taborda, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Reed, Tounkara, Bailey, Ünsal, Mercado, Parr.

After playing evenly through the first 30 minutes Shirra is involved in a collision and has to come out. Our play doesn't suffer much, and so we proceed nil-nil to the second half. It's then that I'm seized by terror when Christian Taffarel gets his second yellow and is sent off. Then I remember he's no longer on Wrexham, and gleefully order us onto the attack. We can't force a winner, but we have sealed our passage to the knockout round. Meanwhile Roma have lost to Rangers, so there'll be no shenanigans this year trying to keep a team from making the knockout round. Unless, of course, Rangers somehow beat Real Madrid and I'm able to advance them by throwing our final group stage match.




Real Madrid 0-0 Wrexham



Good thing an international break is coming up. The sawbones also inform me that Laux is tired, I'm going to withdraw him from the German squad if he's called up, he can have a couple weeks off during the same international break Shirra's using to recuperate.



Oh shit- I did not see that coming! I must have accidentally started an anti-Dreamsicle insurgency.



Our offense has improved, but we're now giving up too many goals. I've made my peace with the League Cup match, if we're going to get utterly boned by a referee it might as well be in a competition I don't care much about. United had their first draw of the season, another loss or draw will put our fate back in our own hands. It took us a month or so to get clicking, and our brutal early schedule didn't help, but things seem to be coming along nicely now.




Presidential Election

Dreamsicle is stepping down halfway through his potential four year run! This means we're having an election on January 6th, 2026, to determine his replacement.

There are two topics on the minds of voters. One is what our new stadium will be named, where it will be located, and what it will look like. The other is what happens to the Racecourse Ground when the new stadium is completed. The club is making £11.7m from the sale of the stadium and the land, but this can be changed by merely deducting that amount from our bank account if we want to keep the stadium and is a price we can easily afford.

So, what happens to our historic stadium, which has been the site of soccer matches going back to 1864 and the site of sporting events for over 200 years? Do we allow it to be demolished and have a 24 hour Tesco put up on it's location instead? How do we integrate it with our new stadium, if at all? Is the new stadium named after a club legend, or after some business? Is it located in Wrexham or are we making people drive out into the wilderness to see matches? What mad architect do we hire to design it?

Make your stadium proposals! Convince the club membership to follow your dreams!