Part 185: Chapter the Fifth: The Group of death mild discomfort.
Chapter the Fifth: The Group ofNovember 6, 2025-December 8, 2025
Almost time for that World Cup draw. We'll know how easy or hard things will be by the end of the update.
What would a £93m training facility even look like?
Aww, shit. It seems like one or another of our starting 11 will be on the shelf for at least half the year.
It didn't help that Meteor was hurt these past three months and couldn't exactly work with Loseille on the pitch.
At West Bromwich Albion, November 10, 2025
Premier League
West Brom are midtable, having slumped after a hot start that saw them as high as 2nd and in 3rd place after six matches.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Laux, Taborda, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Hammatt, Maloney, Allan, Damgaard, Mercado.
Meteor scores his first of the season. It's so good to have him back. West Brom tie it up, and we just can't keep a clean sheet lately. Their goal doesn't affect the outcome, as Thiago puts us back ahead with 25 minutes to play and Isaac Stringel finds the net ten minutes later to salt away the win.
Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel
West Brom 1-3 Wrexham
Rest up, Herr Laux.
With the addition of Mercado, Damgaard has been pushed down the depth chart. I agree that he should go get some playing time.
This will be the most sedate holiday season I've ever had as a manager, we have only one match to play between December 21 and January 2.
vs Watford, November 22, 2025
Premier League
I'm enjoying this lull in difficult matches that will continue all the way until the end of the year.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Bailey, Allan, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Maloney, Enrique, Taborda, Mercado.
Parr scores in the 17th minute, assisted by the prettiest cross from Loseille I've ever seen. Parr's hot, and is unleashed a second time by a smart pass from String. Thiago gets in on the action, again assisted by String. Then Thiago scores once more from a free kick, a lovely bending shot around the wall and inside the near post from 30 yards away. Mujkic makes it 5-0, and we've been scoring a goal every 10 minutes. Thiago gets his hat trick, and our front four are having their merry way with Watford's defense. The referee gives Watford a pity penalty, but that doesn't change the outcome in the least.
Man of the Match: Thiago
Wrexham 6-1 Watford
Don't jinx him! He hasn't been hit by a truck or had a safe dropped on him yet this season.
Thiago has scored those 15 goals in 12 matches.
He won't play against Roma, I don't want to bring him back too early and have him get reinjured.
Geez I'm getting old.
At Roma, November 26, 2025
Champions League, Group A
With qualification in the bag, I see no reason to try too hard. If we win, we win. If we lose, we lose. Go have some fun out there.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Maloney, Allan, Taborda, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Reed, Tounkara, Enrique, Bailey, Mercado, Parr.
Thiago rockets in a free kick from 20 meters out in the 6th minute to give us the lead, then pulls his classic “Oh, don't mind me, I won't steal the ball from you” move against former Red Dragon Ibrahim El Sayed two minutes later. Hammatt uses his 6'6” frame to hammer home a header, and we're rolling. Thiago doesn't even wait until halftime to score his hat trick. It's his 20th goal of the season and it's not even December yet.
Man of the Match: Thiago
Roma 0-4 Wrexham
Thiago has scored 55 goals this calendar year in 52 matches. If he's not a prime candidate for the Ballon d'Or the whole thing is rigged. Without a single additional goal his tally would be good for 11th all time in real life.
vs Leeds United, November 29, 2025
Premier League
Leeds were a surprisingly good club last year, but I still expect to come away with a win.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Laux, Loseille, Maloney, Bailey, Mercado, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Enrique, Allan, Taborda, Parr.
No win to be had here, as we squander, waste, and spurn every opportunity to score. At least we kept a clean sheet. Ugh.
Wrexham 0-0 Leeds
What? Pump your breaks, buddy. That man is a Wrexham treasure.
Thiago isn't a frontrunner, yet somehow Stringel is. What the hell?
Thiago isn't even on the goddamned shortlist, despite scoring 19 more goals than second place. Even stripping out his international appearances he has 11 more goals than the next closest guy. And it's not like he hasn't been noticed. He's the reigning EPL Golden Boot, won the Best Player in the Champions League award, was named to the EPL and CL Dream Teams, and won the European Golden Boot. So how the fuck is he not on here? And meanwhile Bram Aarts is shortlisted, despite having been Thiago's backup until he was sold to Real Madrid. At least Meteor's absence I understand, he missed three months of the year, but this is just ridiculously dumb. In real life Thiago would be the biggest star in the world.
At Swansea, December 2, 2025
Premier League, Welsh Derby
Welsh Derby time! Let's bounce back from that painful nil-nil draw with Leeds.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Laux, Allan, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Reed, Tounkara, Bailey, Shirra, Mercado, Taborda.
Thiago is having some bad luck. His first good look at the goal goes off the crossbar. His second ends with the ball in the net, but he was inches offside when the ball left Stringel's foot. Those are our best chances throughout regulation, and this match is looking like it's going to be another awful 0-0 draw, but Parr rescues our spirits and the points when he scores seconds from the death in stoppage time.
Man of the Match: Jonathan Quiboulaz
Swansea 0-1 Wrexham
Oh come on. United go a man down after 12 minutes and still beat Arsenal 3-1?! Take a long hard look at what you've done in trying to give me a challenge, Football Manager. You've created a monster.
As the hosts we're in Pot 1 along with the seven highest ranked participants. That means we'll avoid facing the likes of England or Argentina in the group stage. The other three pots are ordered by confederation so as to avoid having groups with three nations from the same continent in them.
Group A! For Awesome! The nice thing about being drawn into the first group is that it gives us the best chance for dodging the tougher teams in each of the three other pots thanks to there being only a 1 in 8 chance that we'll pull any particular opponent.
Pot Two contains Asia, South America, and Trinidad and Tobago, who are definitely the smallest nation to ever qualify for the World Cup. We want Trinidad, but only Colombia would be favorites against us.
Not bad. Japan is a solid national team, and probably one of the best teams in Pot 2, but we can beat them. Pot 3 has Africa and the rest of South America. Chile and Uruguay lurk in this pot; I'd like to avoid both of them.
Hahahaha, of course we get drawn with Ghana. Pot Four is all European, and one of those European countries is Italy.
Anybody but Italy. Anybody but Italy. Anybody but Italy.
Heck yeah! I'll take it. We should be considered favorites to win the group thanks to our home field advantage. That's important, if we finish second we face the winner of Group B, which will almost certainly be Argentina. Give me Australia, Switzerland, or Guinea any day.
Given home field advantage, our group, and who we're likely to face if we win it, my minimum expectation is making the Quarterfinals. And once we get to the Quarterfinals who knows what could happen.
There doesn't appear to be any Group of Death, but Germany was gifted an absolute peach of a group. They could advance with their U20 team.
We want friendlies against countries that match the style of our group stage opponents, and that will be stern enough challenges to ready ourselves for the level of play we'll see during the Cup.
I don't feel like the countries suggested by the game would be a tough enough test, so I swap in Wales and Sweden for Nigeria and Slovakia.
Is this really the best the United States can do? I'm pretty sure that the best facilities in America match those worldwide. Germany will be at the LA Galaxy training grounds (Excellent) and also have access to their (Superb) youth facilities. Spain is prepping at FC Dallas, which has Excellent facilities and Great youth facilities. England is training up at the Wrexham affiliate Chivas USA, which is rated the same as Dallas. I feel like our own nation has shafted us.
I've had a sore throat for the past two weeks now. I do not wish the nagging discomfort on anyone. Taborda can go home and get better there without infecting his teammates.
At Southampton, December 6, 2025
Premier League
We've hit a rough patch recently, boyos. Show me what you've got tonight.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control.
Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Tounkara, Quiboulaz, Reed, Maloney, Shirra, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Loseille, Hammatt, Bailey, Allan, Damgaard, Mercado.
Southampton are keeping us from getting into the penalty area, and we're taking too many shots from range as a result. It's once again looking like another 0-0 draw, and our offensive spark has vanished. A big part of the reason for this is Thiago, who seems devastated by the fact that the world has ignored his genius. He's gone two games without a goal, and can't find a way into the net today. For the second game in a row we enter stoppage time with a draw. For the second game in a row we're bailed out at the last minute. If the world won't acknowledge his brilliance, Thiago will take what is his by force.
Man of the Match: Tonci Cirjak
Southampton 0-1 Wrexham
The chase for the league title might already be over. We've only lost once, but each draw puts us closer to the brink considering United's unreal form. There's still more than half the season to play, though, so I'm not going to panic just yet. It is troublesome, though, how reliant we are on Thiago for goals. I have some ideas about how we might change that.
ElectionsI'm going to keep nominations open until I post the next update, then we'll get to voting.