Part 210: Chapter the Twelfth: Stumbling across the finish line.
Chapter the Twelfth: Stumbling across the finish line.April 8, 2027-April 25, 2027
Six points gets us our fourth title in five years, something that's only been accomplished by Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal, and Aston Villa. A win or a 1-1 draw gets us into the Champions League semifinal. Let's be quick about it.
The U20 squad that I had been so eager to see roll through the CONCACAF youth championship is out after the first knockout round, falling to Mexico. We only needed to make it to the semifinal to reach the U20 World Cup, and we couldn't even manage that. You didn't cover yourself with glory on this one, Paul Williams.
vs Liverpool, April 10, 2027
Premier League
Liverpool fell off after their hot start to end up safely in the mid-table. They get to be our first guests at the Racecourse in over a month.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Tounkara, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Maloney, Bailey (c), Moctezuma, Stringel, Damgaard, Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Reed, Laux, Zouaghi, Ünsal, Mercado, Pickee.
We jump all over Liverpool from the opening gun. First Stringel scores in the 5th minute. Then it's Hammatt in the 14th. After that it's Moctezuma in the 37th. Finally Thiago caps things in the 53rd. Liverpool eventually get an answer, but it's not nearly enough.
Man of the Match: Rodrigo Moctezuma
Wrexham 4-1 Liverpool
Swansea made it to the FA Cup Final. Wales may yet retain the greatest Cup in English Football!
Wait, so now Thiago's a frontrunner for the award? When he's only had a very good season instead of one that crushed the goals scored record into paste, and has been very much off his game the last few months?
vs Paris Saint-Germain, April 13, 2027
Champions League, Quarterfinal Home Tie
If we play how we did in Paris, we'll be advancing to the semifinals. I'm not going to be resting on our laurels, though, because a PSG win would be no surprise.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Hammatt, Loseille, Laux, Shirra, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Zouaghi, Allan, Mercado, Pickee.
Wrexham has plenty of possession but no joy throughout the opening quarter hour. Our defense has limited PSG to only one counter attack, but it still created a great chance that fortunately went begging. Then, just minutes before halftime, disaster strikes PSG when their left back sends the ball into their own net!
We double our lead when String grabs a second goal after the half, and now PSG needs to score twice or go home. They quickly show that they're not out of the match as Marco Valerio Cirelli makes a great ball fake on Tounkara before unleashing a brilliant shot from range to get them back within a goal with plenty of time to play. Our defense steadies itself over the final twenty minutes, though, and when the dust settles and the final whistle blows we're on our way back to the semifinals.
Wrexham (3) 2-1 (2) PSG
You ever even think that again, Williams, and I'll put you on the transfer list!
This would be the third time in a row that Stringel won the young player award... which seems unfair to all the other young players in the league.
Oh boy, we get to give Bruno Santos a warm sendoff into retirement!
Aww, the Southampton game didn't get moved. My dream of back to back matches against them is scuttled.
vs Tottenham Hotspur, April 17, 2027
Premier League
When Noel Tosh jumped from Huddersfield to Tottenham the former were in 15th place and the latter in 19th. Now Huddersfield has improved to 11th place, while Tottenham still lies in the relegation zone. I want so, so much for Tosh and Tottenham to get relegated. I am waiting with bated breath.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Tounkara, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Maloney, Bailey (c), Parr, Allan, Damgaard, Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Laux, Zouaghi, Pickee, Mercado, Moctezuma.
Damgaard has a goal called back for being, at most, a foot offside. Throughout the first half we're not completing the last pass to crack the Spur's defense, and Tottenham beats us on the break as so many teams so often do.
By the fiftieth minute we've battered the post and crossbar three times. Damgaard finally gets a goal ten minutes later, and of course it goes in off the post. At the end of the match Thiago has a goal called back for offside, this one much more apparent than Damgaard's first. We let Tosh slip away, and my joy has curdled to disgust.
Man of the Match: Claus Damgaard
Wrexham 1-1 Tottenham
Thiago's only scored once in the last six games. If he doesn't score in the next match I'm giving his starting job to Stringel.
vs Southampton, April 20, 2027
Premier League
This match was originally scheduled for December 20, 2026. What's four months between friends? A win will clinch us the title with five games remaining. Of course, Southampton desperately want a win as well, they're locked in a three way fight for the third and fourth Champions League spots, and right now are just barely ahead of Chelsea for the final spot.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Maloney, Ünsal, Mercado, Stringel, Damgaard, Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Shirra, Allan, Pickee, Moctezuma.
It's so frustrating to watch this club sometimes. We've taken 10 shots in the first 30 minutes, and only 2 of them have even been on target. Meanwhile we've only allowed two shots for the Saints, and we're losing.
We finally pull back to even in the second half, with Ed Hammatt scoring from a corner, but Thiago has well and truly turned into Fernando Torres. He's lost his starting job as of the 61st minute, when I pull him after he fires yet another shot directly at the keeper from the edge of the six yard box. Stringel doesn't do any better, though, and our race towards the title has slowed to a soul-devouring crawl.
Man of the Match: James Loseille
Wrexham 1-1 Southampton
This has become a frequent event after games, and it's not hard to see why. We've only won five of our last ten matches while our high flying offense has fallen apart, unable to scratch more than a goal or two per game.
Holy moly. I think that's the biggest contract in the world.
At Nottingham Forest, April 24, 2027
Premier League
I'm sick and tired of having 60% possession, 20-30 shots, a dozen chances, and no goddamned goals. It's back to the 4-4-2 Diamond, and if we lose at least we're trying something other than what clearly hasn't been working. I wasn't joking when I said that Thiago had lost his job, though. He's dead to me for at least a week.
Starting Formation: 4-4-2 Vivace
Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Hammatt, Laux, Quiboulaz, Maloney, Parr, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Pickee, Stringel.
Subs: Kocsis, Loseille, Tounkara, Bailey, Allan, Damgaard, Mercado.
By the time Parr makes it one-nil in the fifth minute our players had already squandered three other goal scoring opportunities. The Walking Ankle Sprain scores again twenty minutes later, and in the interim we should have put the ball in the net another three times. When Parr goes off with his usual injury, we've had six clear cut chances and only converted two of them. Even when I change up our tactics we're afflicted by horrific finishing. Shirra scores with three minutes left, but then my ire is roused again when Minami puts the ball in our own net, denying us the clean sheet. Despite the comfortable score line and the glory of another title, I am upset with our performance. I believe I am growing to hate this team.
Man of the Match: Scott Shirra
Nottm Forest 1-4 Wrexham
Whoopty-fucking-doo.
Every answer at the post-game press conference involved me criticizing our players for being complacent assholes. This is by far the least joy I have ever taken in a league title, a shock considering how happy I was with the team just over two months ago.
I'm too irritated with our lackluster performances for me to take any joy in clinching the title. If we don't get our heads screwed on straight Bruno Santos and Chelsea are going to eat us for lunch in the Champions League semifinal.
Board Votes(Grumpily) I am pleased to announce that we have won the Premier League for a fourth time, along with three other, minor, competitions. We are also in the semifinal of the Champions League, and remain a threat to defend our crown. However, the cost of building such a colossus is becoming apparent, as you will see from our finances.
Last July we had over £60m in the bank. At present we are nearly £25m in the red. Atop that, we currently have £157m in longer term debt. The club is presently worth £907m. That gives Wrexham FC a debt to value ratio of 17%. Should this figure reach 100% and we continue to run deficits the club will become insolvent and put into administration. We must be aware of our finances if we do not want to become the next Portsmouth.
Thanks to winning the Premier League (worth £25.5m in additional TV money) and our deep Champions League run (worth another £15m in television money) we should be able to erase our negative balance by the year end. This season has also seen our merchandise sales spike up almost 50% year-on-year, from £28.5m last season to an expected £42.5m this season. By way of comparison, our merchandising total for the year we won our first title was around £5m. Indeed, our income outside of player transfers will grow by between 5 and 10%.
We will also see revenues increase across the board thanks to the opening of our new stadium, which can seat a full 11,500 additional people. Should we fill to capacity, that will amount to an increase of £15-£20m total across the Gate Receipts, Season Tickets, and Match Day Revenue categories.
To sum up, if we maintain our standard of excellence on the pitch we should see our revenues increase to around £290m next season as compared to £255m this season.
Unfortunately, our expenses have continued to grow. Signing our best young stars last season lead to a significant increase in our player wages, and our base salary line item with two months left in the fiscal year is already £11m more than last season. We will also have to pay out squad bonuses for our Champions League and Premier League finishes, which will cost us another £20m.
Looking to the future, we have £16m in wages coming off the books between the expiring contracts of Matias Mercado and Shahed Parr. I am also planning on selling Sinan Ünsal, which would be another £11m of wages saved. However, we also have four players entering the final year of their contracts- Justin Bailey, Jonathan Quiboulaz, Tonci Cirjak, and Thiago. Early estimates are that to resign them would cost us an additional £9.5m in weekly wages and £2m in loyalty bonuses annually, as well as £6m in one-time agent fees. This does not include other bonuses, which could easily add millions more to the final bill.
Question One: Combined Wage and Transfer Budget.
(One-percentingly) Our wage bill is currently fourth highest in the world. Only Manchester United, Barcelona, and Paris Saint-Germain spend more than we do. Last year you gave me a combined Wage/Transfer budget of £160m, most of which went to wages. The year before that I had £157.5m at my disposal. How much will you give me for 2027-2028?
Please pick an amount between £120m and £200m
Question Two: How do we pay for Question One?
(Piercingly) Well?
A) (Wastefully) What? We're not some tiny club that has to sell players to make ends meet! We are the giants of Europe and the world! Put it on the tab! (Let the debt pile up.)
B) (Pennypinchingly) We must sell off players at positions where there's a surplus. I mean, why do we have Isaac Stringel, Scott Shirra, and Callum Allen for basically the same role? (Sell at least £80m worth of first team players)
C) (Seed-corn-eatingly) If we're having trouble making ends meet, we must sell some of the young players we keep loaning out year after year. (Sell at least seven of the fourteen players in our reserves)
D) (Jeffrey Loria-eque-ly) Firesale! Everything must go! (Sell at least £80m worth of first team players AND sell at least seven of our reserves.)
Question Three: Youth Coaching and Youth Recruitment, again.
(Repetitively) Once again we have the option to improve our junior coaching, which affects the current ability of our 15 and 16 year olds when they show up each March, and how good our youth recruitment is, which affects the potential of those same prospects. The junior coaching level is now “Excellent” and the recruiting is “Well Established.”
A) (Referencingly) Taste's great! (Youth Recruitment improved to “Extensive,” the highest rating)
B) (Rejoindingly) Less Filling! (Junior Coaching improved to “Excellent,” the highest rating)
C) (Impatiently) Do both, and have done with it. (Youth Recruitment improved to “Extensive” and Junior Coaching improved to “Excellent”)
D) (Owlishly) Wasn't the whole financial section of this board meeting about our financial problems? (no improvements to either)
Question Four: Additional feeder clubs?
(Lastly) We have the option of adding another feeder club to our already extant connections with Chivas USA, Norwich, and Juventude. Because of the time it takes to negotiate, we can only pursue one of the following options.
A) (Dismissively) Find us another place to send our players out on loan. Now, leave me to my hookers and blow. (Loan affiliate sought)
B) (Dismissively) Find us some nice club overseas where we can make a financial arrangement. Now, leave me to my money-laundering and methamphetamine. (Financial affiliate sought. Caution, may not succeed)
C) (Dismissively) Find us a new source of untapped talent. Now, leave me to my horses and heroin. (Developmental affiliate sought)
D) (Dismissively) Find us a team where we can send hot US prospects otherwise stuck on bad American clubs to help the US National Team. Now, leave me to my eagles and freedom. (Gamey end-run around the work permit system to help the USMNT sought)
E) (Dismissively) We need no more affiliates. Now, help me get these other addicts into treatment. (No affiliate sought)
Voting will be open until the posting of the annual appendix.