Part 221: Chapter the Seventh: Buy something, will ya?

Chapter the Seventh: Buy something, will ya?
January 10, 2028-February 3, 2028

All of our wares are still on display, and various clubs are kicking their tires while hemming and hawing over the price.



You're making it harder to sell you...



And it's now impossible to sell you.

vs Crystal Palace, January 11, 2028
Premier League


Can we make it two and a row?

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Tounkara, Hammatt, Loseille, Bailey (c), Shirra, Bale, Bouzid, Damgaard, Ellis.
Subs: Landgraf, Reed, Laux, Lewis, Zouaghi, Moctezuma, Stringel.

Damgaard scores a first minute goal. The Batman scores thirty minutes later. An own goal makes it 3-0 by the end of the half. Ellis Rickard makes it 4-0, the Dark Knight returns in the 54th minute, and then Rickard does as well ten minutes later. We have well and truly exorcised our demons.

Man of the Match: The Goddamned Batman




Wrexham 6-0 Palace



I'm starting to think Mr. Rickard is a little injury prone. With Thiago still out for another 1-2 months, Isaac Stringel's health has suddenly become a huge concern around town as it would leave Moctezuma our sole healthy first team striker.



About damned time you made it back, Minami. Too bad his injury has sapped his speed even further, he's down to a 7 Pace. I won't be able to use him as a sweeper-keeper anymore.

vs Manchester City, January 15, 2028
Premier League


City have recovered from their early season troubles, but they're still six points back on us and we have a game in hand. I'm glad that our away matches against Chelsea, Arsenal, and City were in the first two months of the season, only our trip to Old Trafford in April is one where we won't be favorites.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Laux, Loseille, Zouaghi, Damgaard, Moctezuma, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Stringel.
Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Lewis, Coleman, Bale, Pickee.

Moctezuma knocks in his 8th goal of the season. He also hits the post three times. Stringel hits the post, but his shot deflects into the net. Shirra picks up after a lackluster first half and scores as well. Total points from Manchester based clubs so far this season: 9 of 9.

Man of the Match: James Loseille




Wrexham 3-0 Man City



I just hope he does well enough there that they trigger his transfer clause. There's a fair chance that he pitches a tantrum and we're stuck with him again come end of season.

vs Southampton, January 18, 2028
League Cup, Semifinal Home Tie


Win this, and we're through to the final. Lose, and we're out of the running for silverware. A 1-0 win will do the trick, a 3-2 win will see us lose on away goals.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Laux, Loseille, Zouaghi, Shirra, Moctezuma, Bale, Mujkic (c), Stringel.
Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Lewis, Coleman, Damgaard, Pickee.

It doesn't take long for the Golden Boy to give us the go ahead goal. Six minutes into the match and we're in position to reach the finals again. James Loseille of all people scores the next one, and if we can get a third goal we can lean back a bit.

That third goal arrives when String volleys in Meteor's delivery as the first half draws to a close. Southampton see red in the 51st minute, and now need to score two shorthanded goals while at the same time preventing us from overcoming their undermanned defense. That's simply not going to happen, as within a minute of the dismissal it's 4-0. Southampton manage a shorthanded goal, but just when they're back to within two Moctezuma scores to put us up by three.

Man of the Match: Meteor Mujkic




Wrexham (6) 5–1 (3) Southampton



A rematch, as expected.



No one will ever find your body if you come to me in a month to complain about a lack of playing time.

At Crawley Town, January 22, 2028
FA Cup, Fourth Round


Crawley Town are just up from League One, and are going right back down. How can I say this for sure? Well, they're sitting 13 points from safety and have won only two matches all year. They're essentially a good League One team, and if we treat them as such we'll walk away with a large number of goals.

Starting Formation: The Pyramid
Starting 11: Minami, Tounkara, Quiboulaz, Zouaghi, Shirra, Laux, Bale, Rouissi, Stringel, Moctezuma, Mujkic (c).
Subs: Kocsis, Loseille, Reed, Hammatt, Brown, Damgaard, Pickee.

We come out in the Pyramid, but I've brought along Loseille and Reed so that we can shift into a different formation if we're having any trouble or need to protect a one goal lead late. It doesn't look like it will be necessary, as Moctezuma finds Stringel in the first 120 seconds. Tounkara adds a second in the twelfth minute, and then Moctezuma scores a third in the twentieth. We're lucky not to concede in the second half, Crawley should really have scored twice, but another Stringel goal completes a clean getaway and we're into the fifth round.

Man of the Match: Meteor Mujkic




Crawley 0-4 Wrexham



We're going to be playing Arsenal again, aren't we?



Good to have you back, now we have someone other than Shirra to slot in at attacking midfielder while Stringel is playing as the tip of our spear.



This has a purchase option of £4.4m, if Porto doesn't exercise it we can instead try to move Pickee during the summer.



van Leeuwen remains with the team a week from the window closing. I'd like to get rid of Rouissi, too, but if he rejected a loan to Hanover he'll probably reject a loan anywhere.

At West Bromwich Albion, January 25, 2028
Premier League


We've got a very tough match against Arsenal coming up that will have much to say about the outcome of the season. That makes this a trap game, and the last thing I want is for us to overlook West Brom and drop points. They're currently sitting 7th on the table with this match in hand, and have the sixth best goal differential in the league. They can thank their new coach, who they hired away from Celtic and who has lead them to a nine match unbeaten streak in the EPL including wins over Arsenal and Manchester City and a draw against Chelsea.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Bailey, Damgaard, Bale, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Stringel.
Subs: Kocsis, Leandro, Quiboulaz, Lewis, Allan, Rouissi, Moctezuma.

Batman's back is broken by a flying tackle, but the ref doesn't even give a foul. It's like Sam Nicholson all over again. Everyone is stunned, but we still have a game to play and Moctezuma makes his way onto the pitch. We keep plugging away, and eventually Meteor gives us the lead in the 24th minute. Moctezuma shows his nose for goal with his eleventh of the season shortly before the break, and the match is well in hand. Stringel, who already had assists on the previous two goals, adds a goal of his own at the hour mark. It seals his man of the match honors, but he's not done until he taps home a second goal. I pull him from the pitch at that point to ensure his freshness for the Arsenal tilt, and his replacement, lazybones Kais Rouissi, finishes what String started by scoring in the final minutes of play.

Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel




West Brom 0-5 Wrexham



The pride of our youth academy could be out for the rest of the season. It's a tough loss for us, and our dearth of options on the right means that Rodrigo Moctezuma won't be helping the United States qualify for the Olympics.



One advantage of using multiple formations is that your opponents will find it difficult to prepare for you. I feel like our recent run of success with the 4-2-3-1 is owed in part to the opposition having prepared for the Pyramid and finding themselves tripped up by the change in style.



Wolfsburg take on van Leeuwen in order to bolster their title defense, after half the season they're a point up on both Stuttgart and Bayern with Dortmund lurking five points back. That leaves only Ciganek and Rouissi in the U21 squad. Neither are going anywhere, the former due to his injury and the latter due to his laziness.

vs Arsenal, January 29, 2028
Premier League


Arsenal have fallen four points back of Manchester United after having briefly lead the league in the 14th matchweek. If we win our games in hand we'll also surpass them, and if we win this match their league hopes will gutter low. They're getting sterling play from their attackers this season, Luis Revilla has been fantastic out on the left wing and Lino Fiorotto has scored twenty-three times in twenty-four matches.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Hammatt, Loseille, Laux, Shirra, Moctezuma, Allan, Mujkic (c), Stringel.
Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Sadula, Bailey, Bouzid, Damgaard, Lundbye.

Stringel nabs his own rebound in the third minute and we're off to yet another crazy fast start. Allan puts away another rebound, this time Shirra's, and we've got a two goal lead in 16 minutes. Matty Collet gets lucky from range 34 minutes to put Arsenal back into contention, then a 45th minute penalty call levels things as we get screwed by the referee yet again. Arsenal come out firing in the second half and put themselves on top after 57 minutes with Lino Fiorotto's 25th goal of the season, but the ref appears to have put money on a draw rather than an Arsenal win and it's called back. The Red Dragons rally to take control of the match from that point on, but we can't pull out a winner and are forced to accept a draw.




Wrexham 2-2 Arsenal



That's four points we've had stolen from us by the baldfaced mendacity of the referees, while we haven't had a single match decided in our favor by incompetence this season.







It wouldn't be a proper end to the window if PSG wasn't trying to lowball me with the same offer I'd already rejected half a hundred times.



That's welcome news! Inter is a very good team, even if they haven't challenged for any scudetti recently. Parsons being brought in means that he's going to play in a top flight league and in the Europa League.



Kais Rouissi departs.



Five players were put up for sale. None left on a permanent transfer, but four of them were loaned out with options to be purchased for their full value. All of them have contracts that run through 2029 or later, so if those options aren't triggered we'll still be able to try again this summer.



Noel Tosh was fired by Tottenham in December, when the club was still in the relegation zone. They've lost once since, and have climbed all the way into the promotion playoffs. Tosh was able to find a new job almost immediately, joining Bristol City two weeks after his sacking. In the eight league matches he's overseen the club hasn't won once, and are now three points above the relegation zone. If he keeps this up he's going to have a hard time paying for the mortgage he signed while making £60,000/wk, he's down to a £3,000/wk contract with Bristol.



My first of the year. I'll probably need to win another if Wrexham is to win the league.

At Leeds United, February 1, 2028
Premier League


Leeds did not have a good January. They failed to win a game, and got two points from six matches. That leaves them at risk for relegation. We need to take advantage of their poor form to keep pace with Manchester United.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Leandro, Tounkara, Laux, Quiboulaz, Zouaghi, Bailey, Moctezuma, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Stringel.
Subs: Kocsis, Loseille, Spyropoulos, Lewis, Damgaard, Bouzid, Lundbye.

It takes 17 shots, and 9 on target, before Stringel scores in the 44th minute. Luckily, Leeds don't look likely to level. We keep piling on the pressure, but abysmal finishing by String means we don't add to our lead. In the final ten minutes I bring on our newest signing, the Danish teen Jacob Lundbye, who had been impressing my coaches on the training pitch since arriving on a free transfer at the start of January, and he helps us see out the match confidently, even if I'd have liked to see better efficiency from our offense.

Man of the Match: Matthias Laux




Leeds 0-1 Wrexham



We're running with so many kids right now, there's six teenagers on the senior team, that fitness is going to be a concern down the stretch. There's not much I can do about it, we'll just have to suffer through and hope that Moctezuma's development isn't impacted by the number of games he's playing.



Play Arsenal three times in one month? That sounds like a grand idea!



Things are getting exciting. We're 11 back of United with two games in hand, and a trip to Old Trafford looming in the spring. We play Arsenal twice in the next month to determine whether we advance to the final eight of the FA Cup and whether we retain the League Cup. We've had enough injuries for two seasons. No one ever said a triple double would be easy. At least we'll waltz into the round of eight in the Champions League, I think we top Rangers at Ibrox even if I send out the youth squad. In the Pyramid. Without a keeper.