Part 61: Chapter the Third: The zebra shows his stripes.
Chapter the Third: The zebra shows his stripes.September 1, 2017-October 8, 2017
The last match in this set of games is our home tie against Tackleford. I'm very much looking forward to that one, I can promise that the result will be much different than our pre-season friendly. We also have what's going to be a very tough game against Sunderland, who are by far and away the giant in the league.
Now that our younger players are starting to play a role in the first team it's more frustrating when they're away on international duty.
The board promises component of the confidence meter is at a sky high 89% right now. I brought in several relatively young players to play for the first team and have promoted young players to the first squad, so with an average age that couldn't buy beer in the United States and no one over 26 on the squad I'm pegging those promises dead on.
vs. Fleetwood, September 2, 2017
League One
Remember way back in update number two, when we got our heads handed to us just starting off at Tackleford? Fleetwood was our opponent. They might have forgotten about that pre-season friendly, but I haven't. Of course, we've got a very depleted squad at the moment because of international callups, so I'm hoping they can meet expectations.
Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Attack.
Starting 11: Higgs, Tench, Lewis, Curran, Smissen, Simpson (c), Holland, Bailey, Rainey, Mujkic, Harrison.
Subs: Fox, Thomas, Poole, Harper, Price, Holt, Baker.
The game sees a lot of play in the middle of the field, and while we're certainly the more dangerous team, having 13% possession inside Fleetwood's final third as opposed to their 7% in ours, neither side can score. Fleetwood does an excellent job battening down the hatches and denying us opportunties to break through. We get a draw, and it's a mild letdown.
Wrexham 0-0 Fleetwood
Looks like the US is going to make the World Cup after all. No job opening for me, yet.
HAWHAW! The Irish must have enjoyed that one. “That's for Cromwell, you f&#^ers!”
Meteor Mujkic is making his name on the international scene.
All I wanted to do was give him an atta-boy.
That's as easy a draw as I could have asked for, and we're at home.
Our choices for this match are a bit constrained. Gorman is being let out of the doghouse for the match, but his morale is in the pits. Because he's a wee girning bairn.
At Chesterfield, September 9, 2017
League One
If memory serves me right we've played and beaten Chesterfield before. We're once again missing players due to international callups, and I'm forced to let Gorman out of the doghouse after a three week time out.
Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Counter
Starting 11: Higgs, Tench, Lewis, Poole, Smissen, Simpson (c), Holland, Bailey, Price, Gorman, Baker.
Subs: Taylor, Thomas, Savage, Harper, Holt, Upson, Read.
Chesterfield spends a lot of time trying to break us down, racking up 20% of posesssion in our third of the field. It doesn't help them any in the first half, but finally pays off for them when they score two goals in two minutes shortly after the hour mark. Matthew Poole can pull us back to within one before the end, but we can't find an equalizer. We were outplayed, pure and simple.
Man of the Match: Justin Bailey
Chesterfield 2-1 Wrexham
Bailey being in the team of the week is no surprise, but Holland has been very good to start his Wrexham career. He's got a 7.13 rating in six games thus far.
For a team that needed a miracle just to get to the second round of qualifying the US certainly turned things around. Looks like the head coach job won't be open any time soon.
Oh, this should be good.
The thing is that I'd be happy to give him some playing time, and he'd have gotten some if he hadn't spend so much time in the trainers room, but he's just ruined his chances of my doing that by being a jackass.
vs. Stevenage, September 16, 2017
League One
We have played Stevenage before, beating them to advance to our Manchester City pay-day two years ago. We've gotten much better since. They haven't.
Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Attack
Starting 11: Higgs, Tench, Lewis, Poole, Smissen, Harper, Simpson (c), Bailey, Price, Mujkic, Harrison.
Subs: Taylor, Thomas, Curran, Holland, Holt, Gorman, Baker.
Given our struggles this season, it's heartening to watch the team today. Stuart Simpson, playing a box to box midfielder role rather than as our anchor man, shows some panache in putting us ahead in the third minute. A mistake by Chesterfield results in an own goal during a corner kick to double that 20 minutes later and Tony Price scores his first of the year to make it three-nil just before half time. We don't let up on the gas. Lewis finds the perfect space to receive another Bailey corner kick to make it four nothing in the 52nd minute. Then Bailey scores himself in the 70th minute when he takes on what seems like the entire Stevenage defense to chase down a through ball. Our captain caps the performance with his second goal, getting on to the end of a cross from a Tony Price free kick. When the final whistle blows on a truly comprehensive hiding we have an average team rating of 8.63, the only starter who didn't play an excellent game was Harrison, who's gone into a slump.
Man of the Match: Stuart Simpson
Wrexham 6-0 Stevenage
Just wanted to admire that score again. That's the sort of loss that that leads to managers getting sacked.
They should have just named our whole team.
Every single damned time it's “beaten Johnstone's Paint Trophy finalists.” Can't you leave off the “beaten” in that line? It's a burr under my saddle.
They're going to take their whooping on live TV!
At Sunderland, September 23, 2017
League One
The Black Cats play at the magnificently named Stadium of Light, whose fancy name is an homage to the miners of the region that were the bedrock of it's economic development for many years.
They're showing the strain of being a League Two squad for the second year straight, the front line is still excellent and much better than we are but their backups are simply awful. A run of injuries can kill a thin team like this. Since they're currently healthy, we're parking the bus and hoping for some luck on the counter.
Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Defense.
Starting 11: Higgs, Tench, Todd, Lewis, Smissen, Simpson (c), Holland, Bailey, Gorman, Mujkic, Harrison.
Subs: Taylor, Thomas, Poole, Harper, Price, Coulson, Baker.
It's clear we're in for a screw job from the very start, when the ref whistles for a penalty after seven minutes when Simpson tackles the ball, only the ball, and nothing but the ball, not even touching the Sunderland player. It's an indefensible call, and I'm screaming bloody murder about Singaporean gamblers. We peg right back, though, with a perfect cross from Harrison finding Gorman's foot for the big baby's first goal in a Wrexham kit. Sunderland have the better of the game, but without the refs assistance can't score another goal. I'm starting to stew over the two missed points, but feeling confident about at least picking up a result, when the ref gives Sunderland another penalty in the 75th minute. This one is more disputable, but still a soft call, and if we were in the United States I'm sure a jury would find it a justifiable homicide if I gunned down this zebra this instant. We're forced to throw everything into the attack in an attempt to salvage a draw, which allows a final goal by Sunderland, the only one they could manage without a ref holding their hand.
Sunderland 3-1 Wrexham
COACH SMASH
: (Standing, fist to the heaven in rage) If I'm wrong let the FA strike me down where I stand...(Several seconds pass with only the fluttering of cameras heard)
: (Still standing) See?!
: (Not sure how to react) Erm. You realize the FA isn't actually God, right?: (Nodding) You should tell them that.
“Complete twaddle,” Bowman continued, while stuffing an unmarked envelope full of fresh £50 pound notes into the mail slot of the apartment where the referee for his next fixture lived.
I really wish I could be on the team that writes this stuff, some of the options are great.
That's what I thought, you spineless cows.
At Swindon, September 30, 2017
League One
Get out there and take the points we should have gotten from Sunderland, boys.
Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Counter
Starting 11: Higgs, Tench, Todd, Lewis, Smissen, Simpson (c), Holland, Bailey, Gorman, Mujkic, Harrison.
Subs: Taylor, Thomas, Poole, Harper, Price, Coulson, Baker.
It's an old cliché that luck the residue of design, and it's our dangerous nature on corners that creates the first goal of the night when Swindon clears a corner directly into their own net. Harrison gets his first goal in what seems like forever to give us a safe two point lead, and we ease our way to victory over the second half, where Swindon and Mujkic trade goals in the waning minutes. It's our first away victory, and our first away result of any kind, of the season. Combined with the generally good play in the Sunderland match this hopefully presages a better run of away form in the near future.
Man of the Match: Mateo Mujkic
Swindon 1-3 Wrexham
My kvetching about the refs may have helped get us that result, we had fewer fouls called on us and more fouls given than would be expected. It could just be that this ref has a general bias towards away teams.
I'm sure he's going to start knocking them in all the time now.
At least, once he's back from his stint on the disabled list. Argh. I don't trust Baker for the Tackleford game, but he'll have to do.
It's very hard to tell our uniforms apart from Fleetwood's at a glance. This is not the first time where I've gone “Wow! How, did we get so many players on the team of the week!?” before realizing that most of them aren't our players.
That's what your mom said. Or something. I'm not hyped for this game.
TACKLEFORD! I SHALL EAT YOUR UNBORN WHILE YOU WEEP IN USELESS REPENTENCE BEFORE ME!
Okay, maybe I'm a little hyped for this game.
vs. Tackleford City, October 6, 2017
League One
If you asked me whether I would prefer we beat Tackleford or get promoted, I'd choose the latter. But it'd be a near thing. I'm quite happy that I've stoked such a blaze of emnity in Ed Phillips, it warms the cockles of my flesh and blood heart to know that his electronic one seethes in hate for me. All this will be for nothing if they embarrass us on our own turf, though, so we absolutely have to win this game.
Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Attacking
Starting 11: Higgs, Tench, Todd, Lewis, Smissen, Simpson (c), Holland, Bailey, Gorman, Mujkic, Baker.
Subs: Taylor, Peters, Poole, Harper, Price, Coulson, Upson.
Tackleford never presents a real threat, mustering just five total shots and one half chance all game. They do a good job keeping us from overwhelming them, though, and we endure a tense nil-nil match for more than an hour. Needing a spark, I pull the ineffective Baker and the mercurial Gorman for Tony Price and youth striker Michael Upson. The spark is almost immediate, as we quickly earn several corners in a row. On the last of these Bailey finds the head of Stewart Lewis, and the ball thuds home before the petrified eyes of the Tackleford supporter's section. I keep pressing for a second goal, not willing to let Tackleford's players regroup and have a chance to tie, and Upson rewards me by plonking a perfect cross from the Meteor into the back of the net to drive home the dagger. The Stevenage result was fun, the Sunderland result was infuriating, and this Tackleford result is phenomenal.
Man of the Match: Stewart Lewis
Wrexham 2-0 Tackleford
Press Conference
The Racecourse Grounds
October 6, 2017
: (Inquisitively) Coach Phillips just finished his press conference a few minutes ago, and it seems like he has no intention of ending his feud with you. What is it about you two that causes these fireworks each time you face off?: (Concern Trollingly) That old horse wouldn't even shake my hand after the match. I wouldn't care if he didn't respect me, but what he does disrespects the game, and that's not acceptable.
: (Personably) Do you think that the pre-match war of words between you and Phillips affected the match?: (Giddily) It sure did. Phillips doesn't have the mental capacity to handle both coaching and trying to come up with insults that can be printed in family papers.: (Following Up) And how glad are you to take the three points today?: (Giddy as a schoolgirl-ing-ly) I love the idea of him having to take the team bus back to Tackleford, stewing with regret. I also love all of the sad fans going home to that miserable, weird little city.
Funny, I didn't have that problem. Then, I'm not an old, boring bag of foul breath like you, Ed.
This may or may not be the case.
But I did spend the last ten minutes of the match trying to figure out what horrible things I could say to him that would be indistinguishable to lip readers from boilerplate “good-game” cliches for the after match meeting.
You're the one who refused to shake my hand. You've got less class than the little known sixth Spice Girl, Garbage Spice.
The taunting of Phillips and Tackleford can only go on so long before the
Between the Tackleford and Sunderland games, and the joy of watching us pulverize the team that used to exist in Stevenage, our supporters have had a lot to talk about the last few weeks. We're now into the playoff scrum, and our offense is clicking on all cylinders despite the injury to Harrison. If we can keep up this form League One is going to learn to fear our little Welsh warband.
Season Competition: Predict how many points we finish apart from Tackleford. For example, if you think we finish 6 points ahead of them you'd post +6, if you think we'd finish six points behind them, you'd post -6. Tiebreaker is goal differential. Entries will be open until the posting of the next update. Winner gets one change made to the database, I'll try to do whatever you want (within reason) if I can.
