Part 73: Prologue: Everyone wants our players.

Volume Six: The Big(ger) Leagues.
Prologue: Everyone wants our players.
June 9, 2018-July 1, 2018

Congrats to our new board members, Obliterati and Galaga Galaxian. Enjoy your complementary luxury booths and here's your keys to the team petty cash safe.



The window opens with Newcastle trying to lowball us for Todd. I will not sell him for a penny less than £5.5m, if he stays with us another year all that means is that he gets better and becomes worth even more money when we finally do sell him.



We finalize our youth transfers from the spring, and two of these four are potential players for our first team.

Stacy Newman
Midfielder


Newman is a physically talented kid who needs a lot of work on his mental game. He won't be seeing first team action absent a disaster until that positioning score markedly improves. If he follows the timetable of our other youth recruits you can expect him to start showing up on the bench or in limited action in a couple years. Also, his mom has got it going on.

Doug Harley
Left Winger


It's good for Harley that he's quite the footballing talent, because by God he's ugly. He's also very, very raw. Just about everything needs improvements, but he's no worse than players like Upson were when they joined us, and Upson turned into £2m. There's no reason Harley can't do so as well, why he couldn't eventually become a backup on the left wing. No one else will ever be our first choice for starting left wing until Mujkic is gone, and I'm going to push that day off for as long as humanly possible.



That's not going to get the job done, scousers.



This I'll need to consider. Read's got a year left on his contract, but he's already highly rated. He did zilch when given the chance to show his stuff last year, though, and he's looking like our third option at striker. If I can find someone who I think can replace him I'll make the deal. In the meantime I order my personal assistant to stall, and he tells them I'm in the bathroom "or something" until the next week. You can generally stall for a week or two, or longer, but the other side can put a deadline on your decision. It's best to use that time to solicit other offers for the player, and hopefully touch off a bidding war.




New goalkeeping coaches! Now all of our first team coaches have a four star rating in their training category. I generally re-sign our under 18 staff, it's hard to find four star coaches who are both willing and able to do youth work.



I'm being offered more for Read, who's not as good as Harrison. This is an easy pass.




If someone wants Mujkic, they're going to have to trigger his release clause. Todd, on the other hand, I'll listen to offers.



We've gotten more unsolicited offers for our players in the first ten days of the transfer window than the game to this point combined. Tench has a year left on his contract, and only managed a 6.8 average rating in League One. We're already looking for new fullbacks and thus I have no problem selling him off. I've got a number of irons in the fire, I'm hoping that I can introduce some of them soon.




Is Piers Morgan back in the UK? Is he hacking voicemails again?



I got them to bump up the amount they were willing to pay into the seven figures. Swansea now has two of our former striker prodigies.



So close, Arsenal! I immediately make them a counteroffer.



This is not nearly as good an offer as the one that I took for Tench, and we do need someone to play fullback this year.



That I'm not selling you doesn't mean you get a new contract, Smissen.



Tench earns us £750k, which I immediately put to use chasing a 20 year old fullback from Huddersfield.



Arsenal are uninterested in negotiating for Todd, flatly rejecting my offer to sell for £6m.



We've sourced a new backup keeper.

Ross Love
Goalkeeper


The young man with the feathered hair should be an adequate backup, and should also improve on his currently middling stats. He'd have been an OK player in League One, and he's a major step up from the irascible Tom Taylor in both personality and stats, but Higgs has improved by leaps and bounds since taking over the starting job and is a clear first choice between the pipes.



Hands off my Billy Goat! Or, at the very least, double the amount of money you're offering me.



Our European scouting starts paying off as I find an affordable left back from Croatia. I'm not sure that northern Wales is really an upgrade over living in Croatia, though. He might find himself disappointed in that respect.

Dinko Mejasic
Left Back


Check out those technical skills. This miniature Balkan wonder is only 19, and he's already got 11's or better in many categories, topped by a 15 in passing. He needs to get his marking attribute up, but as I said he's still only 19. He's also got speed to burn, which should help make up for any mistakes he makes. His only weakness is on the mental side of the game, but that's an area that increases naturally through experience, of which he's going to have every chance at. He doesn't speak English yet, but already has basic knowledge of three non-native languages indicating an ability to learn. Mujkic also speaks basic Croatian, so there's at least one person on the team that he'll be able to have some conversation with before he learns English.



The World Cup starts with hosts Russia drawing with minnows Costa Rica. That makes me happy even though I know it's a video game. Anything to watch the hosts get embarrassed, and I'd be saying that regardless of the current kerfuffle in Ukraine.



Oh, I'm not done coming for him yet. He's got the potential to be a rock of our Premier League club. I've offered £450k and £600k, and I'm willing to go up to a cool million for him.



Now I'm done. But I'll have my eye on him for the next year, if they can't re-sign him I'm going to be all about swooping in.



Spain's really come down in the world if they're drawing with Algeria.



Stop horning in on my potential signings, jerks.



We sign another teenager for the first team, this time a Dane.

Dan Troelsen
Defensive Midfielder


The Dane is already fluent in three languages, Danish, German, and English, at the age of 18. That speaks well for his adaptability. Though he's got a long way before he's considered smarter than a box of rocks on the pitch he's got excellent attributes for his age. My only concern about him is his low determination stat, but he's got so much else going for him that it's only a passing concern. He's also going to need to get stronger to play his role as a defensive midfielder in our style of play.



Soon the Dane will be a seamless part of my Lower League Voltron.



Our captain is reaching the limits of his potential. It's unlikely that he's capable of playing a part in the Premier League, but I'm willing to see how he does in the Championship for now.



Wow, I don't even want to imagine what it cost Al-Thani to buy that result.



Everyone returns from their vacations healthy and fit, just as I hoped for.



I'm happy to listen to suggestions about additional players. It's how I found out about Mujkic. Most of the time it's not helpful, but it takes just a click of a button to put their suggestions into action.



You're not telling me anything I don't know about the youth system. Who do you think brought in all those players? The youth fairy?



Wait, so asking them how they're doing is a way to make them happy? Does this also work on real people?



Parma just got relegated to Serie B. They have one of the most exciting teen strikers I've ever seen, the imperiously named Marco Valerio Cirelli. Each time I refuse an interview or offer it makes the Wrexham faithful love me more, whereas if I were to show interest at the job they'd get mad at me for not being loyal. If I weren't so dedicated to Wrexam I might have taken that interview, even though they would be offering me much, much more money. Ahem.



Uh oh, is he going to be one of those guys who's always getting hurt on international duty? I swear there's a specific stat for “healthy as a horse while at the club but turns to tissue paper when playing international matches.”



Closer, but not good enough. Moreover, I don't want to be trading away too many first team players at once.



The Dane made Harper obsolete. Harper's six years older, worse, and getting paid more. Bailey, Holland, Simpson, Troelsen, Shirra, and Holt should be plenty of depth for the three midfield spots, and we've got a couple youth in the system that can fill in if need be. I'm still looking for a striker, a centerback, and a fullback, though.



Hey, does anyone else want to bid on Parsons? Yes? Then bid already. He must feel like the prettiest belle at the ball.



Wales had 29 shots to Iran's 2. Ouch.



That's it for the USA this World Cup. Fire Jurgen Klinsmann! Hire Scott Brown!



We're getting pipped for players by friggin' Partick Thistle!?



Maybe Peterborough thinks that if they ask me enough times I'll screw up and accidentally say yes.



(horrible french accent)Oui, Monseigneur Vaillant. Welcome to Wales. I trust you will have no trouble with the language, non?



Quelle horreur. It is ok, these savages can't speak proper American either.(/horrible french accent)

Jean-Michel Vaillant
Centerback


I'm paying him more than I'd like, but Vaillant's signing means that Todd's departure won't leave a hole in the squad. He can also play right back, which is very useful. Ioan Peters was our only player on the senior team that was fully adept at the position since the Tench sale. The big issue will be how quickly he can pick up English, as it will affect his ability to blend into the team until he does. Learning languages is based on players adaptability score, something we can't see. If they have a poor score it can take them over a year to pick up just the basics of the language whereas highly adaptable players who play in several different nations end their careers speaking half a dozen languages fluently. It can be quite frustrating, I once had a very good Portuguese attacking midfielder who didn't learn a lick of English over the course of two years, making it impossible for me to use him as the locus of our attack.



What. Did Qatar pay SI under the table to make them not horrible in FM? Because this is a joke.



Tom Pym is my second choice for a striker after Parsons, but he's much more expensive and not as good.

Tom Pym
Striker


There's a lot to like about Pym, starting with a 17 Long Shots score that will play great with our high tempo, bludgeon the ball style of play. The fact that he's a big ol' bruiser only makes things better, he'll be able to wreak havoc in the opponent's area, and have the ups to put his head on just about any cross less than ten feet off the ground. He's the archetypal target man, able to hold up play and a giant of a target for crosses into the box, but with absolutely no flair. Paul Williams says he can improve a lot, and I trust an Ass Man with an 18 at judging potential. His arrival means we're not as reliant on the whims and whimsies of Billy the Kid for our goalscoring.



Darn tootin' we have. Our reputation is now at about 5900, of a maximum 10000. When I took over the team it was around 3000.



Australia clearly isn't planning on making it to the late rounds of the World Cup, those matches take place while it's still going on.



One last look back at the brilliant comet that was our 2017-2018 season.



Ok, one more look back. Did anyone doubt that Bailey was going to win this award again?



I do think they're trying to set up a rivalry between us and Sunderland. I think I'll be playing that up. What's the difference between Mark Bowman and a chamberpot? Mark Bowman's the one that's constantly full of crap.



I'm aiming low because I think we're in for a tough season. I'm hoping for top half, but if we can merely get to mid-table we'll be well placed to make the leap next year to the Premier League. Also, I already have my wage budget from y'all, so it doesn't really matter what the game sets as I immediately edit it back to what you chose.



That's nearly half of our entire gross income from last year. It's about six times as much as we got from League One TV rights. And this is, I believe, a mere tenth what Premier League teams get in TV rights cash.



Poole is about as good as he's going to get. If we don't end up selling Todd, which seems possible given that the sharks have stopped circling him and no one is willing to go above the Arsenal offer, we'll have five centerbacks. If they offer us a goodly sum, I'll be selling high.



Our total wages bump up slightly as only four first team players get raises (Harrison, Shirra, Mujkic, and Gorman), and of them only Gorman and Mujkic see much real increase.



Nope, not interested in that friendly.



Or that one.



Or that... wait. No, I'm very interested in having the reigning champions of Europe come visit us for free. We should pack the stadium, and won't owe PSG a nickel of the revenue.



The dream is dead, or at least mortally wounded. Wales needs Croatia to thrash Iran while beating Egypt. It's almost assured that they're going home early.

At Garden Village, June 25, 2018
Friendly


Our first friendly is against the local lads at Garden Village. It's going to be painless.

Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Attack.
Starting 11: Higgs, Peters, Todd, Lewis, Smissen, Simpson (c), Holland, Bailey, Rainey, Gorman, Harrison.
Subs: Rogers, Kemp, Rush, Poole, Curran, Newman, Holt, Shirra, Walley, Harley, Coulson, Eden.

We're ahead after 2 minutes. We're ahead by three after 10 minutes. We're ahead by 5 at the half. Our first team is clearly ready to rock and roll, at least against the local ragamuffins. Our youth don't look so bad either, scoring twice in the second half on our way to a victory where our opponents couldn't manage a shot. We'll take them out for beer after the game to thank them for being part of our powder puff opening schedule.

Man of the Match: Stewart Lewis.




Garden Village 0-7 Wrexham




Yeah yeah, I'll get around to it. I'm much more likely to listen to a player asking for higher wages than their agent. I like my players, I hate their agents.



If you're going to go down, you might as well go down swinging. Scoring five against Greece is impressive given their habit of playing an ugly, negative game with few goals. The US scored eight goals in their three World Cup games, which is impressive. They allowed ten, which is not.



Harrison becomes our second player to be earning more than Mujkic. Meteor should have been willing to talk contracts, he'd easily have mega dineiro. In order to offer such big contracts I've temporarily switched most of our transfer budget into the wage budget, which allows me to offer larger contracts to players. It's useful, but be careful if you use it as the change is locked in so long as any contract or transfer offers are on the table as you won't be able to offer different contracts/transfers if you don't have enough in your budget.



I wasn't banking on Wales to make it out of their group, but to miss out on the knockout round based upon goal differential with Iran? Ouch. This is a weird, weird World Cup.



Let's talk about how weird. There's nothing too bizarre in the first three groups. Group C is a bit off with Switzerland finishing ahead of Spain, and Costa Rica just achieved a minor miracle in getting past Russia. (Haha, Russia). But those are things that are plausible outcomes. South Korea made it to the semifinals of the 2002 World Cup, after all.



This is where things get nuts. Germany not making it through the group of death is one thing, but finishing with only one point? And Uruguay not advancing from a group in which Qatar of all nations wins every game. Qatar? Seriously? Are they importing slaves to play for their football teams as well as build the World Cup 2022 stadiums? And that's not even the most bananas thing. Look at Group F. That's proud Brazil, in a group of Morocco, Romania, and Ireland, getting knocked out in the first round. Incroyable.



It doesn't get any less topsy-turvy in the last two groups, where Norway advances but Mexico doesn't, and Egypt is sent home without a single point while Iran moves on. It's possible some of these nations have had the same type of renaissance as Wales has had, but at least Wales was starting with an all-world player when the game began.



Thankfully, order is likely to be restored in the knockout round. Each of the upstarts faces a much better team that could realistically make it to the quarterfinals in a normal year. But if Qatar beats Spain, I'm saying check everyone's bank transfers and ransack their houses for evidence. Both ingame and at SI.



Back in the club football world, we're shaping up well. We could still use another fullback, but beyond that I'm only going to be seeking talent that is either capable of lasting us until we hit the top half of the Premier League or that would be a tangible upgrade over our current players. Our youth pipeline is paying off now, we're able to fill multiple backup positions on the team with young players who came from our U18 squad, and we've got plenty of budget, both transfer and wage, to spend if I come across anyone really special.