Part 139: Emma's Branch Alternate Mission #13: Leavings

Emma's Branch Alternate Mission #13: Leavings

Right, so, if you remember way back when, the party went to Australia and found some scientists by blowing up an armored trailer. But what if they didn't?



: We'll go back and rework our plan.
: Back all the way to the aircraft carrier?
: No. We need to avoid losing any more time.
: So, what's the plan?
: We have a submarine standing by.
: We're landing on the submarine!?
: You're surprised a lot. Don't you get tired?
: Hey, shut up!
Everyone's a bit off today, it seems.



: Well, we let the transport get away.
: Maybe it's good that we're back.
: What did you find, Dennis?
: There was a large explosion in Sulawesi confirmed a while back.
Uh...we know what a MIDAS explosion looks like, and given the size, this isn't the sort of thing there's apt to be a lot of ambiguity about, which is a round-a-bout way of saying that Dennis should know whether or not this was a MIDAS explosion from the get-go.
: Was it the original!?
: No. But no base or residents have been confirmed on the island.
: Do you think there'd be an OCU facility we didn't know?
: It's possible.
: We can't just sit here. Let's go check it out.
: Back on the transport? It's so uncomfortable.
: No. They'd see us.
: How do we get there?
: Straight to Sulawesi on the submarine.



I like the idea that this only occurred to Kazuki after they spent hours sailing to Sulawesi.
: It'd be more suspicious if we sneak around.
: Yeah. It's not like anyone knows who we are.
: So, what now?
: Let's find out the exact location of the explosion.



Front Mission 3 is full of life lessons!
: Hey, you're still underage.
: I'm all grown up. *smiles* Wanna see some proof?
: No thanks.
: Shut your hole!
: I'm only joking. What, are you jealous?
: ...
: Alright, alright! I'll do my work.
: What is this? This island's not for tourists like you.
: I'm here on business. I wanted to ask you about an explosion.
Uh...what business would be interested in a mysterious explosion any way? I guess Kazuki is posing as a reclusive fireworks tycoon looking for the next big thing.
: Oh, at the Barilar Farm?
: You know where it happened?
: Sure, everyone on this island knows. It's a big farm in Rantepao.
: What caused the explosion?
: Oh, you're pretty. You can be real gorgeous with some work.
: Would you just answer my question?
: Oh, sorry. I don't know what happened. There's a rich family named Barilar living there. They're strange people. Sorry I can't help you.
: Thanks anyway.
: What is this dirty restaurant!? I can't eat here.
Pham!
: I'm sorry, my lady. This is a very small town we're in.
: It's all because of Uncle Barilar! His experiments is absolutely ludicrous! I'm not helping him again ever!
: But what about Mr. Barilar...?
: I really don't care! I just want to leave this country right now!
: Who's the snot?
: She said something about an Uncle Barilar...
: Maybe she's related. Let's ask.
: Hey, can I ask you something?
: ...
: Hey, are you listening?
: Pierre, get rid of him.
: Yes, my lady. She's not feeling well. Please come back later.
: It's not like I'm trying to pick up on you. Listen to me.
Ah, Alisa's branch, how I have missed you...
: Don't touch me! Pierre, I'm going home!!
: Wait! I'm sorry. We just wanted to ask you about Barilar Farm.
: What, you guys know Uncle Barilar?
: No. We're investigating the explosion at the farm.
: Oh, during the experiment. For your own sake, don't go near that farm.
Listen to her, for all that is good and right, listen to her!!!!
: What kind of experiment!?
: Who are you!? Why do you want to know about Uncle's experiments? You must be spies, after his research!
: Nothing like that.
Actually, it's exactly like that.
: You almost had me. I have nothing to say. Let's go, Pierre.
: Excuse us.
: Pierre! Hurry up!
: Please wait, my lady!
: Who were they?
: No idea.
: The farm is conducting some sort of experiment, that's for sure.
: Should we try sneaking in tonight?
: We have too little to go on. Let's gather more information beforehand.
: Yeah, yeah! I wanna sleep tonight.
: What's this about an explosion? Did the village chief's house blow up? Good. No? I'm wrong? Are you calling me an idiot? Sit. Sit here and tell me why I'm an idiot. Sit down. I'm talking to you.
: Explosion? At Barilar Farm? I'm not surprised. I don't hear good things about the Barilar Farm. I heard they sacrificed a virgin for their research. Anyway, I guess they have a hand in this country's survival. The people who tried stealing their research had their memories erased. Someone ran, because he was tortured very badly.
Man, having your memory erased isn't so bad, I mean, I can't remember it ever being a problem for me.
: The Barilar Farm? I hear they do very advance research, but they're strange. Are you interested in weaponry? Take a look at this web site, then. It's filled with information on the latest weapons. Stay away from the Barilar Farm if you don't want any trouble. Verda makes the best battle wanzers.
: Your name is Kazuki, right? If I train you, you can be this bar's #1 waiter! You'd be better than that snotty Emma girl. You wanna give it a try?
: ...No.
At this point, a shop opens up and Kazuki and Emma have the same one-on-one talk they had in the regular mission #13, so let's just get to the mission, shall we?



: Is this the secret research lab? Looks more like a farm...
: Yes. That's just a cover.
: Okay... Then let's check it out, Ryogo.
: OK.



And then the entire factory starts going up in flames.



Oh, yes...the methane wanzers have returned....
: Hey, no one told me it would explode.
: It's not my fault! Blame father!
: Not father! You will refer to me as master!
Well, this man certainly has it all together.
: I knew it. These wanzers daddy made are great. Such power! The building was blown away.
: It's not daddy! Call me master!
: Oh? Where did grandma and grandpa go?
: Did they get blown away, too!?
: Ohhh, I thought we were going to get picked up.
: It's all because you pressed the wrong button.
: You two, there are enemies. Form up!
: Whazzat!?
: Wanzers...?
: Muahahahah! I've been waiting for the likes of you! No one can stop my domination!! Muahahah! Fear me! My methane wanzer must have you shaking in your boots!
: ...
: You will be sacrificed so that the world might understand......the extraordinary brilliance of my methane wanzers.
: M-Methane wanzers!? What!?
: Hey, old man, you're mistaken. We're not OCU!
: It's not old man! You will call me master! Muahahaha! It's impossible to run from my methane wanzers!
: ...
: What's wrong, Kazuki!?
: Actually, I don't really know...
: What a piece of junk!
: Junk!? It's far beyond your ability to comprehend its majesty.
: Daddy!
: It's not daddy! Call me master!
: Oops, I'm sorry. Master, we're now combat ready!
: All right, commence attacking! Tear them apart!
: What now? They're coming straight for us...
: They sure aren't the negotiating types.
: We need to calm them down.
Well, what is death but the ultimate calm-down?



: Oh, if it isn't Pham! I thought you fled the experiment?
: I'm not so cold that I would forsake you, uncle.
: Good! Then switch to this methane wanzer!
: I refuse!
: What!? Isn't that why you returned!?
: Okay you spies you'll not desecrate my uncle's work! Let's go, Pierre!
: Yes, my lady!

All of the Barilars have something to say on their first turn...
: Daddy's methane wanzers are the best! Watch as I defeat this wanzer!
: Feel the power of the Barilar Empire! I'll show you the power of the methane wanzer!
: Father, what do you want us to do? I can't even program a VCR... What button do I press?
: Hey grandma, what does this lever do? Oh? What's this button?
: I can't lose to grandpa yet! Let's see. Is this how you do it?
: Uhmmm, first you do this, then... Was this how you attack?
: Why do I have to do this!? Why must I do such barbaric things?
: I've always wanted to ride one of these. I must outdo my sisters!
: You shan't lay a finger on the master's daughter!
: One shot! That's all I need! One shot!
Okay, time for the joke battle. Pham has a Zeros and Pierre has a Yongsai, but the Methane Wanzers are so weak that it takes basically no thought to win.



I'll see you in hell, Linny. HELL!



And fuck you and your damnable methane wanzers!



And this is for being Welsh!



And this...Dennis missed? And just when I thought rifles couldn't suck any harder.



And this is for Pham being a ginger from the fucking Philippines!



There, done! Anyway, here are the defeat quotes:

: Impossible! Not my methane wanzers!
: Oh my, I've lost. I guess I'll go cook dinner then.
: I'm sorry, daddy! Your wanzer broke!
: Awww, over already!?
: I did my job. Ciao!
: Ohh well.
: Hey, grandma, it don't work no more...
: Oh dear...
: I'm sorry I could not serve thee... I must escape.
: Hey, Pierre! Where are you!? Pierre, it's your fault I lost!
: Hey, you lost already!? I'm escaping. Come pick me up!
: I'm sorry I could not avenge thee.



And so did I destroy the pride of Indonesia...



: Uhh, master, right? Why did you start attacking us?
: It was a demonstration of my masterpiece to the world.
: You actually want the world to see this?
: Fool! This wanzer is pollution-free and cheap...an ideal wanzer! This wanzer is all-purpose. It's fuel can be found anywhere!
: I'm almost afraid to ask... Is the fuel what I think it is?
: Yes, it is indeed nature's fertilizer... manure!
: ...
: I would mass produce these for worldwide use... But I'm not getting any orders from them... Defeating you, the OCU, would have given me publicity, but I failed.
Seems like it would also have netted you a treason charge, but I guess any publicity is good publicity.
: For the last time, we're not with the OCU.
: What, you're not OCU! Oh, it doesn't matter anymore...
: Then that explosion earlier...
: Yes, the methane tank on the wanzer exploded. I thought I'd died.
: ...
: We should be going now.
: ...Yes.
: Why won't anyone buy my wonder-wanzer...?
: Hey, geezer, cheer up, okay?
: It's not geezer. It's master!
: ...

Next Time: Caught in an endless chase!